Quahog was founded my a magic quahog (clam) and a really chatty settler.

Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute Lisa. You're not going out with all that makeup on....you're a McDonald, not a whore.

I mean, what's the big deal? We're just a regular American family. We have family dinners, we go to church together.... YES, and you even managed to embarrass me there! (refer to episode 101)

Meg, you have two parents that...what does that say under me?? Oh go F**k yourself Diane!

There's been a lot of tension between Lois and me. It's not so much that I want to 'kill' her. It's just, I want her...not to be alive...anymore.

I don't know if mom and dad told you, but we usually have breakfast naked, and I'm allowed to videotape it.

OH Peter, you promised me you wouldn't drink at the stag party. ehhheheeehhehehehehe.

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