Episode 219 - The Story on Page One
Air Date July 18, 2000


Blast! This isn't the first time I've been thwarted by my small stature.
Ok, our next lot is #15 in your program, this is a one of a kind item. A super-mega death ray. It's got the power to enslave the entire human race. Do we have an opening bid? Anything? We'll take any bid. Cmon people, it's solid titanium. Do I hear $100...$5...free? Enslave the human race, and it doesn't cost you a dime. Nope? Okay...

I've got your first story. Lois, I challenge you to a race around the world. GO! ......hahahahahaha....

If I were big, just think of where I would be.

Well, let's take the ol boy out for a spin. Eyes open. Voice test: I'm Chris
I'm Chris
Iviscerate the proletariot
Iviscerate the proletariot
If you're blue, and you don't know, where to go to, why don't you go to, where fashion sits
Puttin on the Ritz!

This won't get Meg on the front page. There have been scandals in Politics ever since Thomas Jefferson.

Deh deh deh deh deh deh deh deh deh. Deh deh deh......

Meg Griffin, you are so sued.
Deh deh, deh deh deh deh!

Remember that pony you wanted when you were six? Well, I bought him and I've been saving him for a time like this. Oh god, that's right, ponies like food, don't they.

Good day, shopkeep. I require a hand-operated buzzsaw capable of cutting through a human sternum. It's for a school project. I'm some sort of student sent here for...oh blast, what the devil do they study..uh, Latin class. Now look here you gord-bellied codpiece. Allow me to purchase the provisions I demand or I shall transform your blue collar into a red one, and.....who the duece are you?? NO I don't have any spare change. Where the hell would I keep it, in my diaper?? Now get out of here you hobo! Oh bloody hell, is this thing still on.

Mission accomplished Peter. We now have a picture of Luke Perry vomiting.
No that's no good Brian, gays don't vomit. They are a very clean people, and have been ever since they first came to this country from France.

If I do this, do you promise to stop stealing my water?




Questions, email the webmaster at familyguymoments@yahoo.com

This site is in no way affiliated with the Fox corporation or the creators of Family Guy. For incredibly entertaining purposes only. All original material copyright FOX