My God, I can walk, it's a miracle!

Cmon Mate, one more before the Mrs. notices I'm not snoozing on the couch.

Well Rudolph, we finally figured out what makes your nose red. ....It's a tumor.

Peter, isn't she beautiful? -Yeah, but I think she's with that guy, they've been holding hands all night. I mean Meg. -Oh oh y-yeah. Yeah she's hot.

Hey Chris, what's with your leg? OH my god, that's not your leg!!

Oh Peter, I care as much about the size of your penis, as you do the size of my breasts. -Oh my god.....

Enjoy your new car, Mr. Griffin.

Did you know Jesus and Moses used guns to conquer the Romans? And remember, guns don't kill people, dangerous minorities do.

Chris, tracks! There must be a deer around here. SHH, there he is.

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