Oh, the baby's kicking. Wanna feel?

Lois, brothers and sisters fighting is as natural as a white man's dialog in a Spike Lee movie.

Fellas, this is God's house. And the Patriots kick off in about 45 minutes, so could we move this along. -Patriots suck. Blasphemy!

Holy Water? Where's that acid I ordered?

Don't worry, I've got an idea: An idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.

Come one, come all...she floats like a butterfly and stings like when I pee.

Hello, 911? Yeah, it's Quagmire. Yeah. Yeah yeah it's in a window this time.

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it's probably running like you: very homosexually.

I think it's all the TV we watch. There's so much violence. -Yeah, TV is dangerous. Why the hell doesn't the government step in and tell us what we can and can't watch.....

....and shame on the network that puts this junk on the air. -Uh Peter, maybe you shouldn't say anything bad about the network. OH why, they gonna cut our budget? I'm gonna go get a beer.

Questions, email the webmaster at familyguymoments@yahoo.com

This site is in no way affiliated with the Fox corporation or the creators of Family Guy. For incredibly entertaining purposes only. All original material copyright FOX