Originally appeared in Untold Tales Of Spider-Man # 16
Written by Kurt Busiek
Art by Pat Olliffe
'Spider-Man' created by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko
Cut to outside the Parker house in Forest Hills, Queens. Peter Parker pulls his Spider-Man mask over his tear-stained face and leaps out the window. He climbs towards the roof.
When I saw him on TV, I thought he was just a ginchy, glamorous goofball. A swinging celeb without a care in the world – laughing his way through life, like me. I didn’t know who was under that madcap mask – and I didn’t much care.
But that was before I saw him for real. Before I found out – the truth.
Next door, a 15-year old, red-haired girl is watching the entire display, her mouth wide open in shock.
It was that awful night I was visiting Aunt Anna – and the man next door got murdered. I saw a cop tell his nephew what happened – and I saw the kid run into the house, and then come out – Out the window!
MJ: (whispering) Spider-Man? Peter Parker is Spider-Man? Oh wow!
And now…
*****
Cut to months later. Mary Jane is inside, arguing with her aunt.
MJ: A blind date? Aunt Anna, I have half the guys in school back home drooling on my shoes! The last thing I need is a night out with some geek who can’t get a date on his own!
ANNA: I’d hardly call Peter Parker a ‘geek’, Mary Jane. He’s a quiet, sensitive boy.
MJ looks downwards, sadly.
MJ: (muttering) Yeah, so was my dad. Save me from sensitive boys.
ANNA: Mary Jane, you can’t compare Peter Parker with your father. Peter is so responsible.
MJ: Hey, just kidding. Look, I’m meeting some kids at the mall. We’ll talk later, ok?
She grabs her jacket and heads to the door.
ANNA: Mary Jane – don’t go! If you’re upset -- !
MJ: Oh, don’t you worry about me, aunt Anna – nothing gets to little Mary Jane – not for long.
No, when you grow up like I did – you learn not to take anything too hard.
Cut to a suburban house, where a man is screaming at his wife.
PHILLIP: The children, THE CHILDREN – that’s all I ever HEAR from you! How can I write when I’m living in a LUNATIC ASYLUM?!
In the corner is a twelve-year-old girl, with a black eye. He has her arms wrapped around her five-year old redheaded sister.
You have your fun where you can find it –
Cut to a different house, years later.
MJ: What’s the matter, sister mine? Made a face and it froze that way?
Her sister gives her an angry look.
GAYLE: You wouldn’t know, MJ – you don’t care about anything but yourself, do you?
--and you learn not to let yourself get tied down –
GAYLE: --baby’s due in July! Of course, Timmy’ll have to give up college – he’s gotten a job –
Behind her, Timmy sighs depressingly.
--not while there’s the least little bit of fun to be found in this big, blue-eyed, beautiful world.
MJ turns on the TV, to see a wrestling match on. On the screen is Crusher Hogan fighting someone who calls himself ‘Spider-Man’.
She smiles excitedly.
MJ: Look at him go!
And above all – above all – if there’s anything that scares you, anything that worries you – you just laugh it away.
MJ: Look out, shoe-store clerks of America! Mary Jane Watson is on the prowl – and she’s not taking any prisoners!
*****
Cut to the next day. Peter is carrying his books, walking to school. He doesn’t notice MJ secretly watching him from the window.
But some things can’t be laughed off that easily. Like when you see the boy next door, and what you see is a studious, straight arrow, kinda square Clyde…
And you know it’s not true.
*****
Cut to MJ at school. She’s in English class, where the teacher is confronting her.
TEACHER: Miss Watson! When I asked the group to prepare a dramatic poetry reading for the seminar today, ‘Itsy-Bitsy-Spider’ was NOT what I had in mind!
MJ: Oh, but you gotta love the classics, Mrs. Dorsey! And besides, think of the drama! The passion! The hidden symbolism!
The class starts to laugh.
*****
Cut to the city street, near a hot dog vendor. The crowd looks upwards, with MJ in the middle of it.
They’re staring at Spider-Man, who’s swinging high above them. They’re pointing at him. Some ‘aw’ing, some screaming, some calling him a freak.
All except MJ, who just watches him…smiling.
Or when you see a soulful super hero bouncing from building to building, and what you see is a crazy, carefree clown…and you know that’s not true either!
She turns to the hotdog vendor.
MJ: Know what the Zen priest said to the hot dog vendor, Max?
MAX: Yeah, yeah – make me one with everything.
MJ: Ahh, Nirvana on a bun!
Who are you really, Peter Parker? When you’re not the dutiful nephew – and you’re not socking it to the scofflaw set…what do you do?
*****
Cut to Midtown High, during gym class. A tall, skinny looking boy is standing with his back facing the class. He has an angry look on his face.
One large classmate is looking at him, confused.
TINY: What’d I say, huh? All I did was suggest that if we’re gonna throw the old pigskin around, we oughtta rope in Jason, and everybody went all weird.
Flash Thompson goes up to Tiny.
FLASH: Well, Tiny, you weren’t here when…I mean, it’s not like he’s not welcome or anything, but…it’s just…
Suddenly, Jason turns around and snaps at him.
JASON: It’s all right, Flash, I’m going. Don’t worry – you don’t have to make allowances for Jason the leper. Jason the freak! Jason the MURDERER!
He storms out of the gym. Flash just scoffs at him.
FLASH: Geez! It’s no wonder no one wants to hang around with him any more! C’mon, Tiny.
The entire group leaves to play, with only two people remaining near the bleachers.
Flash’s girlfriend, Liz Allan…
…and Peter Parker.
LIZ: Y’know, Peter, things have been really tense around here, ever since Sally died. It’s like…it’s like it’s hanging over the whole school, putting everybody on edge – especially around Jason.
PETER: Well, he was driving the car when she got killed – he didn’t even have a license, and he drove out in front of a bus…
LIZ: Yeah, but you know she must’ve been pushing him to do it. He didn’t do anything without her telling him to. And besides – he’s beating himself up over it so much already. Does he really need to be dumped on by everyone else, too? There must be something we could do about it. Any ideas?
PETER: Huh? Why ask me, Liz? I’m only –
Liz puts her hand on his shoulder.
LIZ: You’re only the smartest boy in school, and the only one Flash can’t push around, that’s who you are.
Peter smirks.
PETER: Hah! Flash could snap me in two, and you know it!
LIZ: Maybe, maybe not. But one thing I do know is that you’re not scared of him. I can tell that just by watching the two of you. So – will you try to think of something.
He smiles.
PETER: Sure, Liz…and y’know, I might just have an idea…
*****
Cut to a museum, somewhere in New York. Mary Jane and her aunt Anna are walking by the T-Rex display.
MJ: This is the palpitating pits, Aunt Anna. I mean, I know it’s the whole history museum bit, but couldn’t they make it a little more lively? Like maybe a dance floor – a prehistoric polka! A bronto-boogaloo! Anything to bring in a batch of boys!
ANNA: Mary Jane, you’re so irrepressible! But you can’t neglect your studies. Even if you do become an actress, you’ll still want to know something of history, of science…
MJ: I’m hip, dear heart! If I’m screaming my little lungs out in some blue-screen extravaganza, it’s help to know what I’m screaming at!
Anna smiles.
ANNA: Peter Parker is interested in science, May tells me. Have you thought anything more about that date?
MJ: Oh, please! After an hour in the mausoleum, I’m nutty with knowledge! I don’t want to think about anything right now. I just want something to happen!
At that exact moment, a loud crash sounds through the entire building.
Both MJ and Anna look towards where the sound is coming from.
ANNA: Wh-what?!
MJ: Ah – any chance I could rephrase that--?
A wall collapses, and two figures crash through it, fighting. One of them is Spider-Man, and the other is a large, bald man. He’s glowing bright green, and blasts of energy erupt from his hands, narrowly missing Spider-Man.
It’s the guy I’ve been doing my all-out best not to think about –Spider-Man! And not only him – but the Radioactive Man, too!
He’s a Chinese scientist, who bombarded himself with radiation to fight Thor, and just recently, the Avengers! The radio mentioned how he faked illness to get at the radioactive medicines in the prison infirmary, and juice up his powers.
Spider-Man hits him in the face, leaping over his blasts.
SPIDER-MAN: Am I gonna have to fight all of you ‘Masters Of Evil’ one by one, R.M.? I mixed it up with your buddy the Black Knight, before the Avengers put the kibosh on you guys – so now it’s your turn?
In the corner, Anna tries to pull MJ away from the fight.
ANNA: Mary Jane – this way!
She doesn’t budge. She just watches them fight, transfixed.
And now he’s loose! But he’s so big – so strong – how can Spider-Man hope to stand against him?
Radioactive Man backhands him across the room, shooting twin bolts of radiation after him.
RM: Baron Zemo lied to us, Spider-Man! He brought me back from China – brought in the knight, the Melter – he said he’s lead us to victory, but he left us to rot in jail! But Zemo should have known – just as you should have known—
Spider-Man back flips in mid-air, avoiding the blasts.
SPIDER-MAN: Whoa! Eeeasy there, Mr. Clean!
RM: —that the Radioactive Man is never helpless!
Spider-Man shoots a web line at him, tying him up.
SPIDER-MAN: Oh yeah? Not even when you’re wrapped in a cocoon of webbing?
In a moment, the webbing that surrounds the Radioactive Man begins to dissolve.
RM: Do not play the fool, Spider-Man! My body is a living breeder reactor – a source of incalculable energy! And I can channel that energy – releasing it as force – or as searing, blistering heat.
SPIDER-MAN: Gotcha, greenie! So much for the webbing, then!
In the corner, MJ is still staring at the two of them.
ANNA: Mary Jane, please! We’ve got to run – NOW!
He’s just a kid! A teenager – no more than a year older than me! How can he be so cool under fire? How can he crack jokes like that?!
Radioactive Man lifts up a speaker and hurls it at him.
RM: And now, Spider-Man…
SPIDER-MAN: No, wait, R.M….let me guess!
He leaps over the flying speaker.
SPIDER-MAN: You can channel your radioactivity into strength, too! But throwing big heavy things…that works on us Spider-Men about as well as webbing worked on you!
However, the speaker crashes into the doorway.
MAN: Oh, no! The exit…it’s blocked!
MAN # 2: And the only other way out…is past them!
RM backhands Spider-Man again, causing him to crash into one of the displays.
RM: Very well. Perhaps you’ll change your demeanor…once I take some hostages! And you dare not interfere…not with my skin too scorchingly hot for you to touch me!
Spider-Man picks up one of the statues he crashed near.
SPIDER-MAN: Oh, I’ll interfere all right. I may not be able to touch you, glow guy…but I can interfere PLENTY!
He throws the statue at Radioactive Man, hitting him directly in the back. The impact causes him to crash into a case that’s marked ‘radioactive ore samples’.
SPIDER-MAN: Uh-oh!
MJ’s eyes go wide.
MJ: ‘Uh-oh’? Whuffor he said ‘uh-oh’?
SPIDER-MAN: Those radioactive ore samples! They were safe in their lead-glass case. But if they come in contact with him…if they increase his own radioactivity…
Radioactive Man slowly climbs to his feet, now glowing white-hot.
RM: Now you’ve done it, Spider-Man! All I wanted was to reach the waterfront – and commandeer a ship away from this miserable country! But you—you’ve doomed us all! Ordinarily, I’m able to keep hard radiation locked within me – releasing only light and force! But now, you’ve set off a chain reaction within me. A building cataclysm that won’t stop…not until I reach super-critical mass and explode! New York and everyone in it are doomed, Spider-Man…and it’s YOUR FAULT!
An energy-blast shoots from his eyes, blowing a hole in the floor.
RM: And my only solace is that you can’t run far enough or fast enough…to escape death yourself.
He leaps through the hole he made, disappearing.
The second he’s gone, both Mary Jane and Spider-Man race towards the hole simultaneously.
MJ: Wow! Looks like he’s blasted clear through the building – all the way down to the subway tunnels!
MAN: He could get anywhere in the city from there!
Spider-Man looks down the hole, preparing to jump.
MJ puts her hand on his shoulder.
MJ: You’re not – going after him, are you?
SPIDER-MAN: Got to, pretty girl! If there’s any way to stop him from exploding…any way at all…it’s up to me to find it!
Then he jumps.
*****
Cut to outside the museum, a few minutes later.
MJ is standing with Anna, talking to both police and video cameras.
MJ: --and then old Spidey arrowed down the rabbit hole like an awesome Olympic diver, and that’s all she wrote, folks! End of act 1!
ANNA: End of act 1? But Mary Jane, that horrible glowing man – he said we were all going to die!
MJ: Don’t worry about it, Aunt Anna! Spidey’ll get that radioactive rat – you’ll see.
The crowd, including Anna, all walk away. All except Mary Jane, who stands there. He face becoming more worried by the moment.
I believe that. I really believe that. I trust Spider-Man to take care of us all. But why? I know who’s under that mask. I know he’s just a kid. Shouldn’t that make me less confident? Not more so? I don’t understand…
*****
Cut to the Watson’s…
I’m not any clearer a few hours later…
MJ: Why the long face, Aunt O’ mine? The cops said the radioactive guy must’ve been bluffing…just trying to cause a pernicious panic. C’mon…you don’t really think we’re all doomed, do you?
ANNA: I don’t know what to think. The Abbotts –they left town, and the radio says there are traffic jams of people leaving the city! Oh, if only someone could contact the Fantastic Four or the Avengers!
MJ: Well, I wouldn’t worry about it, doll. Put on a happy face, that’s my motto!
She grabs her coat and heads to the door.
ANNA: Mary Jane…where…?
MJ: Gotta get some fresh air. There’s a party going on somewhere…and little MJ’s gonna find it!
*****
Cut to a street, somewhere in New York.
But my mood doesn’t last past the front door.
GUY: Hey, gorgeous! How about an egg cream at ground zero?
MJ: Catch me next end of the world, dad. I’m – I’m not thirsty --!
Most of the city didn’t believe there was a threat, the news said. Only a few thousand ran. But I saw the Radioactive Man’s face. He was serious. Dead serious. It’s all up to…
She stops in front of an electronics store, where a group of people are crowded around some televisions inside the window.
On the screen is Spider-Man, fighting the Radioactive Man.
ANNOUNCER: Spider-Man, captures on video by our new copters! Apparently, Spider-Man tracked down the Radioactive Man using some sort of Geiger counter-like device…and is even now battling him on the Brooklyn Bridge.
The Brooklyn Bridge? That’s not too far from here.
At that moment, she runs towards the street.
MJ: Taxi! TAXI!
*****
Cut to the bridge…
SPIDER-MAN: Hold still ‘Jolly Green Giant’, cause Doc Spidey’s got just the thing for your little skin problem…lead-laced webbing!
Two strands of web envelop Radioactive Man, but he just stands there, as it starts to melt off.
RM: Go ahead, Spider-Man…for all the good it will do you! You see? My radiation is now such that your pathetic webbing cannot hold it in check! Lead-laced or not…it melts away as soon as it touches me!
He shoots a blast, which Spider-Man leaps over.
SPIDER-MAN: Hey, no fair! I spent all afternoon whipping up that stuff! Besides…when a super hero pulls some kinda wacky stunt like that, it’s supposed to work! I’m sure it’s in the rule book somewhere…
Mary Jane pushes her way past the abandoned cars, until she’s only standing a few feet away from the intense battle.
The cab driver got me as close as he could, but he wasn’t willing to get nearer than a few blocks from the bridge! Not that I can blame him.
But I’ve got to see what happens! I’ve got to.
She watches the fight, a nervous look on her face.
SPIDER-MAN: Come on, Radioactive guy! Surrender! Let me try to help you – to stop the chain reaction!
RM: It’s…too…LATE!
Radioactive Man lifts a truck into the air.
RM: Don’t you think I would stop it if I could? But I was a fool before, to run from you in my fear and panic! The city will die, and I along with it…but at least I’ll have the satisfaction of killing the one who did this to me!
He tosses the car at Spidey, who ducks it.
SPIDER-MAN: WHOA! Watch where you’re throwing those lat-model sedans, fella…I mean, you almost hit that innocent coal barge!
Beneath his mask, Peter Parker smiles.
SPIDER-MAN: Coal barge? Hey…that gives me an idea!
Mary Jane stands up, not able to look away.
Look at him! He won’t quit, not even when things look hopeless! He won’t quit! Who are you Peter Parker?!
Radioactive Man stands on top of a car, raising his hands into the air.
RM: Fool! I can feel the neutrons inside me…flying outward, and rocketing in again…smashing my atoms apart as they reach their deadly crescendo! I’ll explode in seconds, Spider-Man…and there’s no way you can escape your fate!
Spidey leaps from car to car, getting close to him.
SPIDER-MAN: Maybe not, maybe not…but I’m sure you wont’ mind if I get it that old college try, right?
He leaps right at him.
RM: Wh-what?
Spider-Man lands on the front bumper that RM is standing on with all his strength, catapulting the former scientist into the air. Straight towards the barge.
RM: Eh? The coal barge…?
He lands on it, his radiation dying down.
SPIDER-MAN: That’s right, R.M….a coal barge. And now…everything depends on the next few seconds! Coal is almost pure carbon…it’ll absorb the loose neutrons, damping the atomic activity, and shutting the chain reaction down. Unless…unless…
Time almost seems to stop. For the Radioactive Man, for Spider-Man…and for Mary Jane.
Then, the glowing stops completely.
Spider-Man leaps into the air, landing on top of the bridge.
SPIDER-MAN: I DID IT!!! He wasn’t too far gone…the coal was enough to stop him! Oh, man…I did it! I DID IT!!!
On the ground, MJ throws her hands in the air ecstatically.
He did it. And I…I don’t know how to feel.
He’s science-geek Peter Parker.
He’s a laughing, joking adventurer.
He’s the boy next door.
He’s the hero who saved the city.
I just…I just don’t know…
By the time the cavorting coast guard shows up, the Radioactive Man’s gone. He slipped over the side…hidden in the smoke from the coal fire. And already, the merry media’s weighing in.
The science correspondent tells us what happened. J. Jonah Jameson tells us it’s all Spider-Man’s fault, and me…
*****
Cut to Forest Hills, as MJ looks out her window.
…I’m just wondering what’s shaking over at the Parker’s.
Flash, Liz, and Peter’s entire class is gathered at the Parker’s house.
JASON: This is dumb, Liz. I shouldn’t have agreed to come.
FLASH: What’re we doing at Puny Parker’s, anyway?
LIZ: Relax guys…and follow me!
They all enter inside the house, where the lights are off.
JASON: If this is some sort of trick…
Suddenly, the lights go on…
ALL: SURPRISE!!!
Attached to the ceiling is a sign that says ‘Welcome Back, Tiny And Jason!’
Liz smiles.
LIZ: Surprise, guys!
TINY: Huh?
PETER: Come on, guys…everybody’s been waiting for you!
JASON: ‘Welcome back, Tiny and Jason’?
Peter smiles
PETER: Yep! Since both you and Tiny were out of school for a while, Liz thought it would be a good idea to welcome you both back…and my house was the only place that’d be a complete surprise!
LIZ: Yeah…great idea of mine, huh?
The crowd begins to socialize, talking to both Tiny and Jason.
LIZ: (whispering)You really shouldn’t give me all the credit, Peter…
PETER: (whispering) Aw, it doesn’t matter, Liz!
JASON: A party…for me…?
Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. Aunt May answers it.
A twenty-something brunette walks through the door.
MAY: Ah, it’s Betty Brant! I’m so glad you could make it. You don’t know most of Peter’s school friends, but we should be able to fix that tonight.
BETTY: Thanks, Mrs. Parker. I’ve got to admit, I’ve really been looking forward to..h-huh?
Betty’s eyes notice Peter and Liz standing in the corner.
LIZ: You’re the best, Peter Parker!
She kisses him on the cheek.
That’s when Peter notices Betty standing there.
PETER: BETTY?!
Betty turns to leave, just as Peter makes a beeline for her, trying to explain.
PETER: Betty, it’s not what you think…it’s perfectly innocent! Betty, wait…I can explain!
BETTY: No explanation needed, Mr. Parker…my eyes work just fine!
PETER: But Betty…
BETTY: I can see I’m not needed…or wanted…here, Mr. Parker! Good night…and have a lovely party!
She leaves.
Peter puts his head in his hands.
PETER: Of all the crummy…
Suddenly, Flash walks up behind him.
FLASH: Peter Parker! Just the man I wanted to see!
Peter turns around.
PETER: Huh? Flash?
FLASH: You may think this’ll get you in good with the kids, Parker…but you’re not fooling me for a second! You want to stay healthy, stay away from Liz Allen! She’s MY girl!
PETER: But Flash, I…
Then, on the other side, Jason shows up.
JASON: What he said, Parker…and that goes double for me!
Peter faces him.
PETER: Jason?
JASON: You’re not one of us, Parker, and you never will be! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Both Flash and Jason storm off. Frustrated, Peter falls down on the sofa.
PETER: Aw, nuts! I guess everything’s back to normal, now…or as normal as it can be, with Sally gone. Tiny’s back in school, Jason’s one of the crowd again…and everybody’s mad a ME! Still, maybe this’ll give us the chance we need…to recover, to head. And, at least , everything that could possibly happen has…hasn’t it?
Unknown to Peter, Mary Jane watches him from next door…smiling at him.
I’m…not ready to date you, Peter Parker. If Aunt Anna pushes me about it, I’ll come down with a ‘headache’ or something.
But this riotous redhead doesn’t run away from anything forever…and someday, Mr. Parker, someday…I’m going to find out who you really are…under all of your mask!