Sully looked at Michaela's eyes. He could see her inner pain and struggle. He wanted to touch her and hold her. Tell her that everything would be all right. But she was pushing him away.
"Michaela, I don't want a divorce. I want to work through this. Michaela, You and I are meant to be together. We are like one. You love me, and I love you. Doesn't the years of marriage we have mean anything to you?" Sully spoke from his inner heart.
"Of course it does, but Sully you and I haven't been getting along since... since it happened. We can't keep running from the truth." Michaela replied.
"Michaela your the one who's running from the truth. What happened to our daughter was terrible, but you have to stop blamin yourself and get on with your life, cause until you do, you ain't gonna find any peace." Sully told her.
Michaela pulled the papers out of her purse. They were divorce paper she had drawn up in Boston while she was gone. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to go through with it. But she knew then that she couldn't stand to see Sully's sad eyes, and his broken heart from the loss of Katie. She handed the papers to him.
"Michaela I'm not signing these. I won't let you give up so easy." Sully replied.
"Sully please, I can't take this anymore. Please just sign the papers." Michaela asked him firmly.
"Fine, I'll sign the damn thing." Sully said grabbing a pen off the desk and signed his name on the line.
He looked at Michaela one last time. Then he left her there by herself. He slammed the clinic door behind him.
Michaela sat there. Her eyes welled up with tears. It was just too much. She believed in her heart it was the right thing to do. She put her hand to her flat stomach. She knew that her child would never know it's real father. But oh how she had wanted to tell him, was going to tell him. But when she saw the hurt in his eyes from the loss of Katie, it was just to much for her.
Sully walked toward the meadow. He looked at the three graves. Abigail and Hannah's were older, but his darling Katie's was newer. He read the inscription that had been put there only three and half months ago.
Sully fell to his knees. He traced the letters with his fingers. He just couldn't believe that along with his daughter's death went his marriage. He loved Michaela so much, he just couldn't believe that she could stop loving his in such a short time.
Micheala wipped her tears away. She got up from her chair. Michaela went to her desk and took four framed photographs off the shelf. She put them into her bags. Then she grabbed some of her medical things and looked at the clinic one last time. Then she closed the clinic and locked it for the last time.
She walked back to the train where William was. He was seated on a bench reading the newspaper. She went next to him and took a seat.
"He signed the divorce papers. I just want to go to the homestead and get a few things and then we will be on our way." Michaela said to him.
"All right. I’ll get a wagon. Be right back." William said as he left.
Michaela opened her purse and pulled out a small photograph. It was of her and Sully's wedding day. She couldn't help but look at it with a smile. She remembered how nervous she had been when they got married, but it had been a perfect day, and night of understanding and of love.
William came back with a wagon. They drove to the homestead. Michaela looked at the gorgeous home that Sully had built for her and the children. She didn't want to have to leave it all behind. But she knew it was the best for everyone.
Michaela got down from the wagon. William stayed outside while she went inside. She laid her purse down on the table. Then she went upstairs. She went to her and Sully's bedroom. She looked at the bed. So many memories this room held. Michaela felt like her heart was breaking. She laid down on the bed. She grabbed Sully's pillow and could smell him almost as if he was close to her.
Then she got up and went to the dresser. She began to take out her dresses and put them into her trunk. Finally all of her clothes had been emptied out. All that remained were Sully's shirts, and buckskin pants.
Michaela took one of his shirts and held it up to her face. His scent was so familiar and comforting. Something that she had always loved about him. The safety and comfort that he brought her. But know it was gone, as if it was a faint old memory.
She folded his shirt and put it back in the dresser. She looked around the room and saw photographs and books. She took her bible, and a picture of Katie and Sully. And put them in her trunk.
Then she went to Brian's room. She knocked on his door. No answer came. She turned the handle and opened the door. She saw Brian staring off into space.
"Brain I am sorry about all of this.” Michaela replied. But Brian remained still. He just kept watching the wall.
Ever since Katie had died, he was never the same. Michaela couldn’t bare to see her son so far and so hurt. So many people were hurting from her mistake. The one mistake that all cost them the dear child that she and Sully and brought into this earth. Michaela hugged her son.
“Goodbye Brian, I love you.”
Then she got up and left. Brian heard the door close behind him, but he didn’t move, not even flinch. His family was falling apart. And there was nothing he could do about it. He continued to stare and watch the wall.
Michaela watched as all of her luggage was put on the train for the last time. She would never again see this town that she had come to love as her home. She wanted to stay and live with Sully and her children, but not after what happened with Katie. She knew it was best that she left, even though her heart was telling her to stay.
Michaela and William climbed onto the train. The train pulled out just as Sully walked to the Depot. He watched Michaela through the window. He saw her eyes. Filled with so much pain. He would never forget that image in his mind.
Michaela caught sight of him Their eyes locked for a moment, that seemed like years. The loved was still there. But Michaela could see the pain and sadness behind it. She turned away and that was the last she would see of him.
Sully watched the train roll away from him. Taking with it his marriage, his love, his heartsong. Sully was hoping that it was all just a dream deep down inside. But he knew it wasn’t. Sully couldn’t take it anymore. He walked away from the town. He went to the woods and nature. He needed to think, to get through this the only way he knew how. And he would have to do it alone for the second time.
He had felt it once with Abigail and Hannah. That day had been so hard for him to bare. It was a day he had tried to forget. But yet he couldn’t. Because the memory of his daughter’s death was still fresh in his mind. Sully knew what is was like to be truly alone in the world, and he was. He had his older children. But they had their own lives. But still he felt so alone. More than he ever had before he had married Michaela.
Michaela and William finally made it to Boston after the long trip from Colorado Springs. They took her things to her mother’s house. Michaela looked around at her old room. It didn’t hold the magic, and memories as it once did. It didn’t even feel like her home anymore. Michaela knew she would marry William within a few days. He had already asked her on the train ride. She had said yes. He knew about the baby. He told her he would raise it as his own. That they would build a life together. But she had to try and build a new life. But yet her heart told her it was impossible.
Michaela made her way downstairs to the parlor where her mother was sewing. She sat down beside her and watched her. Michaela loved her mother so much, but she was terrified at what her mother would say to her about her divorce with Sully. For a moment it was silent. Then Elizabeth Quinn spoke her mind.
“Michaela I love you so much, your my daughter. But I think you acted to premature, when you divorced your husband. You love him, I know you do, and he loves you so much. Why just throw it away?” Elizabeth said.
“Mother I have my reasons for what happened. I still love him. I always will. But mother you have never seen the hurt in his eyes. Feel the distance Katie’s death has put between the two of us. I just can’t keep living like that, and neither can Sully, it’s not fair to either of us.” Michaela replied.
“I am going to marry William.” Michaela replied.
“Michaela you don’t love him, you told me yourself many years ago. Why marry for love, why not be a mother to your children, and a doctor back in Colorado Springs?”
“Because I can stay there anymore. In time I will come to love William, and there is another reason why, but it’s not important.” Michaela spoke.
“Michaela what reason?” Elizabeth asked.
“Mother it’s not important.” Michaela spoke firmly.
“Michaela I am your mother, I have a right to know.” Elizabeth spoke.
“Mother I’m pregnant.” Michaela finally said.
“Michaela it’s not his, is it?” Elizabeth asked.
“No mother Sully is the baby’s father.” Michaela said.
“Michaela don’t you see thats wonderful. You and Sully could start over and raise this baby. I mean I know how much Katie meant to you, but you can still live together in happiness.” Elizabeth told her daughter.
“I can’t mother. I want Sully to have his own life, and if I told him I was pregnant he would never have let me leave. He would have made me stay, and want to work out our marriage. I know that our marriage will never be able to work, after I caused Katie’s death. Sully will always look at me with sad eyes, and I will feel guilty, that’s not a marriage, or a family for a child.” Michaela replied.
“You need to stop blaming yourself for an accident Michaela. Katie’s death was an accident, it was not your fault, it could have happened to anyone, you have to believe me.”
“Mother I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I am going to marry William this week, and I hope that you will come, and be there for my wedding, and give us your blessing. It would mean a great deal to me. And mother you have to promise me you won’t tell Sully about the baby?” Michaela said.
“All right Michaela, but just because I don’t say anything doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s right.” Elizabeth replied.
A few days later Michaela got married to Dr. William Burke. It had been a small ceremony. Michaela had cried. But not tears of joy, but of a deep sadness that was pushing on the heart. She hoped that she could be happy again one day.
Michaela looked in the mirror she could begin to see the swell of the baby. She touched her abdomen. She could feel the life within. She knew this child had been created out of a night of passion and love. Michaela began to remember that night three and a half months ago...
It had been a rainy night. Michaela had come home to a dark house. The table had been set for two. And candles had been lit, and a wonderful smell of food filled the downstairs of the homestead. Michaela and Sully didn’t even eat. Sully had started to kiss her when she walked inside. She began to remember the feeling of her heart pounding, and her body longing for him. And finally the sweet soothing passion that erupted later after the long wait and anticipation.
Michaela laid down in the bed that was soft, but yet it wasn’t her bed. It was her husband’s. A man she hardly knew. Who had proposed twice to her, and she had finally accepted after he had proposed on the train. She had hoped that they could make a life together. But only time would tell.
Michaela fell asleep, and began to dream of another time and place. A time after her second child was born. And she and Sully were holding her in their arms. The love still there and so strong. But yet, Michaela felt a chill through her body, as Sully left them alone, just as she had him. She began to scream. William came in and held her in his arms. But Michaela continued to cry for Sully. To feel his strong arms around her.
A few days later Michaela was at her mother’s house eating cake, and drinking tea. She couldn’t stop thinking about Sully and what he was doing. She loved him so much, and missed me deeply. She was beginning to think she had made a huge mistake. Her tears began to fall and she couldn’t stop them or hide them from her mother’s view.
Elizabeth went to her daughter and put her arms around her tightly. She knew that her daughter was going through a rough time. She knew what it was like to lose a child, and a husband, even though Sully hadn’t died, Michaela had lost him.
“Michaela what is, what’s wrong?” Elizabeth asked.
“I feel like I may have made a terrible mistake Mother. I feel like I should have never divorced Sully, and I never ever should have married William. I miss Sully. I want to go back home to him, mother.” Michaela replied.
“Michaela it’s too late for that now. You have made vows to William. You are his wife, for better and worse, for sickness and health to death do us part. You must honor your marriage and give it time. You can’t give up before you have hardly started.” Elizabeth told her daughter.
“Mother I think I acted to fast. I made a decision I had no right to make without Sully’s consent. I mean this is his child. He should know.” Michaela said as her tears began to come down.
Elizabeth saw her daughter crying. She stopped her sewing, put it down and went to Michaela and put her arm around her. She embraced her youngest daughter into her arms.
“Michaela could you face Sully and tell him what you just told me?” Elizabeth asked softly.
Michaela thought about it for a few moments to herself. She knew her heart loved Sully, and wanted to be with him, but yet the fear inside of her grew. She knew she could never face him now after Katie’s death and tell him about her baby, his baby, their baby.
“No, mother I couldn’t I guess. The fear grows inside of me just thinking about it. I just want this whole thing never of happened. I wish Katie was here and Sully I were having this child together. I just don’t know where my life is going to go from here.” Michaela continued to cry.
Colorado Springs
Sully walked up to Katie’s grave. He laid the flowers on the grave he had been holding. He often spent much of his time at his daughter’s grave. Life didn’t seem worth while living anymore since Michaela had left him six months earlier.
Sully stood up and turned to leave. He started to walk back into town. All of sudden he bumped into a young woman. He saw papers go flying everywhere. He knelt down immediately and began to pick them up.
Sully looked up. He was staring straight into the most beautiful blue eyed woman he had seen. Sully stood up and handed her the pile of papers he had gathered up from the ground.
“Oh, I am so sorry. I am in such a hurry to get these tests graded for tomorrow I didn’t see you.” the young women told Sully.
“No, it was my fault. I should have been watching where I was going.” Sully told her.
“I am Anna Marie Parker, I’m the new school teacher, and you are?” Anna asked Sully.
“I am Byron Sully, everyone calls me Sully. My son Brian Cooper is in your class.” Sully replied.
“Oh yes. From what I hear from Mrs. Slicker he is a very good student, although he has been rather distracted lately.” Anna told Sully.
“Well he’s had a lot to deal with. His ma and I divorced a while back, and he lost his little sister earlier this year. It’s been a rough year for all of us.” Sully spoke choking back his tears.
“Oh I am sorry. If there is anything I can do for Brian or you please let me know.” Anna said blushing a little.
“Thanks. Well I’ll see you around Ms. Parker.” Sully said.
“Yes. Good bye.” She said with a warm smile.
Sully walked to Robert E.’s and picked up his horse. He road home to the homestead. The home that had once been there was gone now it seemed. He only was there in the mornings and at nighttime.
He put his horse in the barn and then walked inside the house. He saw Brian reading a letter at the table. He went into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee and then sat down beside his son.
Brian looked up at his father. He looked like he had been crying again. Brian knew he had been doing that a lot lately. He knew that his Pa missed his Ma deeply. Now he had to tell him the painful news he had received from his Ma.
“Who sent ya the letter?” Sully asked finally after he realized his son was staring at him for a while.
“It’s from Ma. She want me to come to Boston to see her and….William.” There he had said it.
Sully became tense when he heard William’s name. The thought of his beloved Michaela with William made his stomach sick. Sully gave his son a smile as best as he could.
“Oh, how are they doing?” Sully asked not really caring about William, only Michaela.
“Oh, well Ma….well actually she just had a baby girl a few weeks ago.” Brian told his father.
Sully felt heartbroken at that news. That she and William had already had a child. He could feel his heart shattering. He felt like that child should be his and Michaela’s not Williams.
“Oh, what they name her?” Sully asked.
“Alexandra Marie.” Brian said.
“Oh that’s real pretty.” Sully said.
“Pa do you mind if I go. I mean I know I was angry with her for you guys splitting up, but I mean I love her Pa. She’s my Ma. The only other Ma I will ever have, and I want to still be a part of her life.” Brian said truthfully, but not trying to hurt his father.
“Oh, course you can go. She is your Ma, and you have every right to see her.” Sully said taking a long drink of his coffee.
“Thanks Pa. I am gonna leave on the morning train. I will be gone a few week. But I will be coming ‘home.’ Home to you Pa. Because this is where I want to be, the place that I love.” Brian told his father lovingly.
“Thanks Brian, I needed to hear that.” Sully told his son as he embraced him.
Brian then went upstairs and packed his suitcases. He couldn’t wait to see his Ma, and his little baby sister. Although he really hated William, and he was angry with his Ma for leaving his Pa. He still loved her and he knew she loved him.
The next morning Brian got on the train. He sat down, and looked out the window at his Pa. He waved at him. His Pa waved back. Brian could tell his Pa was sad. He prayed that he would find happiness again in his life and not spend all of his life alone.
Sully watched the train pull out. He felt sad that his son was leaving. He felt so alone in the world. His youngest child deceased, his marriage over, his eldest son Matthew in New York, while Colleen and Andrew worked in Boston, and now Brian was gone too. He began walking toward the meadow when he ran into Anna.
“Oh Sully I forgot to give Brian his English assignment. Has he already left?” Anna asked.
“Yeah, he just left on the train a few minutes ago.” Sully said tenderly.
Anna looked deeply into Sully’s eyes. They were filled with pain, and sadness, but yet she saw happiness. She so wanted to be his friend and help him if she could.
“Would you like to join me at Grace’s for lunch?” Sully asked finally.
“I would love too.” Anna said.
Sully held out his arm and Anna took it gladly. Sully smiled to himself. He felt happy for the first time in a long time since Katie’s death and the divorce. They walked down the street in the middle of town. It would be the start of something special he hoped.