Chapter Two: Them
I tap
my fingers against the table at the library, waiting for Seifer. He's not
coming. Heh, how could I ever expect Seifer to come make up a test...? Nevermind
come at all.
"Quistis!" I look up. Seifer jogs toward me. The library is empty, as
it always is at midnight. Yeah, I've been here waiting for two hours.
"Seifer..." I nod.
"Sorry, I overslept." I cock an eyebrow, he's been sleeping that whole
time. "I'm surprised you waited up for me."
"You need this test." I mutter, placing the test in front of him.
"Do you have a pen?" He asks. Never prepared. Never ever. I sigh, and
pull a pen out of my bag, and hand it to him.
"Thanks." He goes to work on his test, and I finish correcting the
other students' tests. Fifteen minutes later, he hands me the peice of paper.
"Okay. Thank you, Seifer." I say. I shouldn't be thanking him, but I
have nothing else to say.
"So, you gonna go back to your dorm?"
"Where else would I go?" I say, using half-sarcasm. Its true though. I
never go anywhere but my dorm.
"Yeah, so ya want me ta walk ya back?" Hmm. He must really want to
pass this test. I smile softly to myself.
"Sure." I oblige. We walk in silence. I realize that he's taking the
route past Squall's dorm.
"I don't think we should go this way. The other way is much quicker."
I suggest. Oh Hyne, I don't want to see him explode if they are doing that
again.
"Who said I want this to go quickly?" Now, thats some food for
thought. I just nod, and we continue walking. Then I hear it. From Squall's
dorm. Seifer hears it too.
"Again?!" I mutter.
"Fucking Squall." He heads for the door. Is he going to do
something...?
"Seifer, don't!"
"Why?" He asks.
"..." I don't know why. Part of me wants him to interupt... but the
other part doesn't want to cause trouble. He goes for the door. I grab the
sleeve of his trenchcoat and pull him back towards me. I guess I pulled oto
hard, because he came crashing into me.
"Agh..." I mutter, trying to regain composure.
"What was that for?" He asks, green eyes blazing in the moonlight.
"Don't cause something you'll regret, Seifer." I didn't even know what
I meant. I just said it. Its one of those times when something inside you speaks
for you, and you have no control over it. Seifer looked at me, not understanding
what I had said either.
"Wha...?" He asks. I don't know how to reply.
"Don't cause trouble, please?"
"...I don't want him doing that to Rinoa." Rinoa. Everyone cares about
Rinoa... Hyne, I'd love to be Rinoa. Being loved by two men. ...And the rest of
the world. Left out on all accounts, I am. Just the instructor. Thats all.
"...He loves her."
"He does NOT!" Seifer is getting emotional now. I can see a mix of
fury and depression in those eyes. ...Seifer, stop this. You know he does.
"...Seifer..."
"No! I won't have him doing that to Rinoa. He doesn't love her! But, no,
she trusts him, because she is a trusting person! She's being minipulated..!"
"No, Seifer, Squall DOES love her. You KNOW it, you just won't come to
terms with it!" I semi-yell. Seifer just stares at me. I see pain in those
eyes. I can't look at him anymore. I turn and walk away, I'll go around and take
the other way to my dorm. I know he won't cause trouble in there now. ...Maybe I
should have let him. I lay down on my bed in my dorm. I eventually fall asleep.
"Quistis...?" I hear knocks at my door. I glance over at the time. 3
am. Damn, who the hell is it? I yawn.
"Hold on... I'm coming." I slip my bathrobe on over the tank top and
shorts I'm wearing, and walk towards the door. I open it, and almost drop when I
see its Squall.
"S, Squall..." I mutter.
"Hey... Can I come in?"
"...Sure." I say. He's dressed in baggy shorts and a T-shirt. I've
never seen Squall in his pajamas... Then again, come to think of it, I haven't
seen anyone in their pajamas. Before I know it, I'm picturing *Seifer* in
pajamas. I quickly block the thought out of my head, wondering why I had it, and
sit with Squall.
"...So, what's wrong Squall?"
"...Rinoa and I... we heard you and Seifer." My face flushed. Damn,
how much did they hear?
"We heard everything." Dammit.
"And...?" I ask.
"Is Seifer still in love with Rinoa?" Yes he is. No, I can't say that.
It'll make him seem weak. Why do I care?
"...No. He just cares for what goes on around her." Squall... you're
so close. Why isn't my heart thudding quickly against my chest?
"...I see."
"...Squall?"
"Yeah?"
"...Don't mention Seifer and my conversation to... well, anyone, ok?"
"Sure, now, if you don't mind, I have things to attend to." Squall
headed for the door. I stood up.
"Squall!"
"What?"
"...You love Rinoa, right?"
"Right." He walked out the door. Now, I need to go see Seifer. I got
up, and pulled off my bathrobe, and replaced it with a large blue sweatshirt
that said "SeeD, we do it all." in white print. It was the only
sweatshirt I could find, and there was no way anyone was going to see me in that
revealing tank top. I pull on a pair of small, heelless white sandals, and walk
out the door. I found my way to Seifer's dorm and knocked. I was nervous. Tf he
didn't answer, I was leaving. Not trying to knock again. Nope. This could wait
until after-class. Just as I turned to walk away, light encircles me. The door
has been opened.
"Who is it?" Seifer says. Can't he tell its me from the back? Well
probably not, I have this huge (well not *that* huge) sweatshirt on, and my hair
is down... My hair is down?! I suddenly feel self-concious, no one ever sees me
with my hair down. I turn. Well, looks like I'm getting real lucky tonight.
Seifer is standing there in *his* pajamas. Shirtless... with baggy black sweat
pants on. What a thing to get lucky about... pajamas.
"Quistis?" He asks.
"Um, yeah." I mumble.
"What is it?" So, there we are. Standing in the cold night air. I
don't know what to say to him. Why did I come here? Oh yeah. To tell him about
Squall.
"Can I come in?" Damn, that was bold.
"...Sure." Seifer seems hesitant. I walk in just in time to see him
shove a bottle of pills off his bed. What was that?
"So, what do you want...?" Sleeping pills. Seifer, sleeping pills?!
...He was going to...? Seifer! I can't tell him this. It'll make things worse.
"Uh, I forget." I say in a timid voice. I walk toward the door. I'm a
fool. I know. I feel his hand on my shoulder.
"What is it, Quistis?"
"Nevermind, Seifer!" I say, walking toward the door with a quicker
pace. Then I stop. I can't leave him here. He'll take his life over Rinoa...
Rinoa, damn you! Shit, Quistis, what are you going to do!?
"Seifer... I..."
"Quistis, are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." What do I do?! Oh, Hyne...
"You aren't acting it."
"I know." Stupid answer.
"Why the hell are you here?!" He asks. I don't think about what I'm
about to do. I just do it. I move swiftly to the other side on his bed, and bend
down. I pick up the bottle of sleeping pills. I hold them up.
"Rinoa." I say. "Fucking Rinoa! Go ahead, ruin your life over...
over a girl who couldn't care less... Don't you see, Seifer! She'll go for
anyone who will have her! You just love her because she was the only one who
ever cared for you! What if she never did!?" The words just flew out of my
mouth. So I stand there, holding out a bottle of sleeping pills, in my pajamas,
scolding a man... who has seen the world, and hated it. I tried to kill this
man, and now I'm trying to talk him out of suicide. He has reason for this...
but... Suddenly, I have reason why he shouldn't. Seifer still hasn't said
anything.
"Get out." He says.
"No."
"I said, get the fuck out of here."
"I won't!" Why am I acting this way?
"I'll make you leave, Quistis. So get out."
"Then, Seifer Almasy, make me leave!"
"I will. I fucking will." I get scared. But I don't show it. I don't
mean to lose. Maybe I won't- for once. He walks toward me. I don't put up a
fight. I want to see if he'll hurt me. He doesn't. He looks at me with those
eyes. Glaring.
"GET OUT!"
"I won't!"
"Why?" He asks.
"...I won't let you do this!" I hold up the sleeping pills.
"Why? I'll be happier... sleeping forever. Look at my life! I'm an arrogant
bastard, and everyone knows it! I've lost the only person who will ever care for
me!"
"No... thats not true." What I am doing?
"Oh really?" He steps closer. My heart starts pounding. Not in fear.
Not in the way it did when Squall walked by. Different.
"Yeah..."
"...What part of that isn't true?"
"All of it." I say. Don't do this, Quistis. Be strong. You're strong.
Be strong, dammit!
"...You're not an arrogant bastard. You just act that way. No one knows
what you are, Seifer. They just guess... Other...people care for... you. You
just... don't... know it!" I finish. He doesn't say anything. He steps
closer.
"...Like who?" I was afraid he'd ask that. No, be strong. Don't answer
him.
"...M..me." I turn away as quickly as possible. His hand is placed on
my shoulder.
"Quistis... Thats not true. Don't lie to me to stop me from doing this. You
know damn well that no one could EVER love me. Thats why Rinoa was so special to
me... At least she pretended to care..." Now I have to prove it too? I turn
around.
"....I'm not pretending! I don't know what I have to do to prove it to you,
but dammit, Seifer. To me..." My voice trails off, realizing what I'm about
to say.
"...To you?" He asks, waiting for me to continue.
"You do this, Seifer, I'll do it too." I say instead. I toss down the
pills and walk out the door.
End Chapter.
©
2001 by Koudelka.