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'How do you know?’ ‘Margaret told me.’ After
Leo had shouted at me for the hundredth time, I had
stormed into Margaret’s office and demanded to know what
was wrong with Leo. Unsure whether or not to tell me,
eventually, after I bullied her a little, she had. The next
time Leo shouted at me, about ten minutes later, I
just let it go. ‘Poor Leo.’ I almost smiled.
Sam was nicer than I was. I spent almost the whole
day being angry with Leo for being angry with me when
he was really angry with Jen. And Sam’s first
thought was to feel sorry for Leo. I am so lucky to have
found him. And to have found out he felt the same way
about me as I did about him. After a little blundering
about. Well, a lot of blundering, actually. I
remember when I had made up my mind to find out if I was
wrong about Sammy and me. We worked well together, were
good friends. If I had misjudged things, making a move
could freak Sammy out and one of us would probably have
to resign. I was determined it wouldn’t be Sammy. I
mean, you shouldn’t have to fall on your sword just cos
you react badly to being groped by a guy you thought
was just a good friend. Both of us were shocked
when I kissed Sammy the first time. Sammy was shocked
at being kissed. And I was shocked at how quickly he
responded. And how I felt at his response. After that, we
went out for pizza and spent the whole night talking.
I woke up about 3 a.m. with his head in my lap. I
watched him sleep, then we had our first row. Well, row
is too strong. He opened his eyes and his first
words were: ‘Were you watching me
sleep?’ ‘No.’ ‘Liar.’ And we had kissed again. That was all. For a long
time. Just kisses, the occasional hug. A little
snuggling when we were watching TV or reading, sitting next
to each other on the sofa. At the time, I think I
was more sure of my feelings for Sammy than he was of
his for me. Now I know it was the other way round.
Younger, and in a less senior position in the White House,
Sammy had waited for me to make the first move. And it
had, apparently, been a frustrating wait. But it had
been worth the wait. Now, finally, aged forty years
and seven days, I had found the person I wanted to
spend the rest of my life with. Samuel Norman Seaborn.
After a few brief flings – Mallory, Laurie, and a
couple of others – he’d apparently worked out who he was
and what he wanted. Me. Us. Together. Forever. With
any luck. I take a large sip of my drink and realise
that the one thing I had been denying all these years
is true. I can’t hold my drink. I lean a little
harder on Sammy and he smiles, pushing me down into a
chair. I cover his hand with mine. I don’t even realise
I’m doing it until I look at my hand and realise I’m
stroking his with my thumb. And he’s letting me. He thinks
I don’t know how he feels about me touching him in
public. But I do. And I stop, moving my hand away.
Moments later, his hand covers mine, and his finger
begins to stroke the back of my hand.
Perfect. ‘Can I take this?’ Leo is holding the file with thelease documents in. ‘Take it where?’ ‘To look at.’ ‘Yes. But I need it back. I have a meeting with the landlord on Friday.’ ‘Okay.’ I pour us both another drink. ‘Are Fred and Ginger coming tonight?’ Leo smiles. ‘Toby and CJ? No. I think one visit was enough for them.’ I pretend anger. ‘Are you criticising my club, McGarry?’ He panics, worried he had upset me. ‘No. It’s just they’re not really…’ ‘A couple?’ Leo nods. ‘Yeah.’ I nod across the room. ‘Unlike those two. What a change. They’re so much happier.’ I hope Leo sees it too. ‘Yeah, it must be nice now they can be open about…’ I decide not to tease Leo about his inability to talk freely about Joshua and Samuel. Not just now, anyway. Maybe later… |