Title: Deflationary measures Walter looked up as Fox and Alex came back with bottles of water for all of them. The vacation on the Florida Keys was proving more relaxing than he had imagined, and he had been grateful he hadn’t been expected to accompany them to the nearby beach-front kiosk. Having sat down, he really didn’t want to move even an inch. ‘We’re gonna go on that.’ Fox pointed at the boat dragging a large inner tube behind it on a length of what Walter thought was probably rope. Walter looked doubtful. ‘Are you sure you two know what you’re doing?’ Fox and Alex gave Walter the dual power of their withering stares. Which didn’t seem to intimidate him as much as it did when they usually teamed up against someone. Alex explained: ‘You hold on and get bounced around.’ ‘Sounds great.’ Walter said dubiously. ‘Just be careful.’ ‘Yes Walter.’ Fox said, his facial expression matching his petulant tone. ‘Here.’ Walter rummaged in the bag he had brought with him and pulled out a tube of waterproof sunscreen. ‘Do each other. Properly. The sun reflects off the…’ Too late, Walter realised he was talking to an expanse of sand. He shrugged mentally. They had been wearing sunscreen, and they were both adults. If they wanted to suffer… Walter settled back against the wall, opened his book, took off his sunglasses and began to read. Once or twice he looked up, but the boat was a long way out and he guessed neither Alex nor Fox would be thinking about waving to him. He would have been cross if they had let go long enough to do so. ********* Both men yelled excitedly as they crossed the wash from the boat and the tyre bounced into the air, slamming down onto the water, drenching them yet again. Neither saw the broken bottle which punctured the tightly-stretched rubber as it bounced down onto its jagged edge. Both of them were thrown into the air, and Fox began to swim towards the boat as it turned and came back towards them. The force of the wash from the boat pushed Alex, not a strong swimmer, away from the mangled remains of the rubber ring and into the path of a boat coming towards him. Too late, the man steering the boat saw Alex and turned his craft sharply. The tail end of the boat hit Alex’s body, and he disappeared under the water. Within seconds both boats were over the spot where he had gone under, and three men dived off the boat which had hit him, bringing him up moments later. Walter turned the page of his book and looked up, pulling on sunglasses as he squinted into the distance trying to spot Alex and Fox. He could see the boat, and two men were hauling someone on board. Moments later, he was on his feet, and the boat was coming towards the shore, the engine sound increasing as it neared the beach. ************* Unconscious but otherwise considered out of immediate danger, Alex was transferred from the local hospital to one with a specialist neurological department within hours of the accident. Walter or Fox stayed with him the whole time, keeping up an endless flow of one-sided conversation, knowing from experience that even apparently unconscious patients can hear voices and other sounds. Alex was attached to an IV line and a heart monitor, the monotonous sounds of both of them providing a background sound in the otherwise silent hospital room Alex occupied. Drained of its usual color and animation, his face appeared cast from some pale resin, his closed eyes showing his long eyelashes but hiding the emerald eyes which seemed usually to be looking in every direction at once. ************* Walter came back from the bathroom and looked at Alex, expecting him to be, as he had been for two days, lying still with his eyes closed. Instead, he was blinking, looking around. He looked at the door as Walter closed it behind him. ‘Alex, you’re awake.’ Walter said delightedly. ‘I’ll get…’ ‘Walter?’ Alex’s eyes continued to scan the room, but settled on nothing. Walter felt a stirring of fear. Something was wrong. Alex was looking straight at him. ‘Yes Alex.’ ‘Is Fox there?’ Walter forced himself to remain calm. ‘No. Do you want me to…Alex, what’s wrong?’ Desperately trying not to cry, Alex said softly: ‘I can’t see.’ Walter leaned across and pressed the red button above the bed. Seeing the people running into Alex’s room, Fox abandoned his efforts to get coffee and ran down the corridor after them. ********* Alex’s panic and Walter’s insistence combined to convince the on-call doctor that Alex’s IV line and catheter could be removed. Fox stood at the head of the bed stroking his forehead, Walter on the other side, holding Alex’s hand while the doctor removed them both. Suddenly exhausted, Alex lay back on the pillow. ‘Thirsty…’ he managed as his eyelids drooped. Walter poured a tiny amount of water from the jug into the plastic glass on Alex’s overbed table, and Fox held his shoulders while Alex drained the warm fluid. He grimaced. ‘Yuk.’ ************ When Fox returned with a bottle of chilled water from the hospital cafeteria, Alex was fast asleep, Walter sitting at his side, his fingertips gently stroking the back of Alex’s hand. Walter looked up as the door opened. ‘Thanks Fox. I’m sure Alex will appreciate it when he wakes up.’ Fox didn’t bother pointing out that, if Alex didn’t wake up soon, the water wouldn’t be any cooler than the water from the jug. ************* After a short nap, Alex stirred. ‘Hi. Would you like a drink? It’s cold.’ Walter offered. Alex nodded. He drank the little water Walter poured into the glass and lay back. ‘What does the room look like?’ Walter looked around. ‘You’re in the corner, diagonally opposite the door. The room’s about ten by ten. There’s a window to your left. Blinds on the window, great view of the car park. Bedclothes are faded yellow. Pillows and sheets are white. Your t-shirt is grey as are your boxers. Two grey plastic chairs to the right of your bed. There’s a sink on the wall opposite your bed.’ ‘When can I get out of here?’ ‘Soon Alex, soon.’ Walter said gently. Frustrated and fed up, Alex banged his fist on the bed, turned over, his back to Walter and pulled the bedclothes up to his shoulder. ‘I’ll leave you to get a nap. I’ll send Fox in to sit with you.’ ‘Don’needababysitter.’ Alex muttered. ‘Then stop acting like a kid.’ Walter snapped, only realising too late how inappropriate his words were. He walked back to Alex’s side, gently stroking Alex’s tear-dampened cheek. ‘Alex, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I can’t imagine how terrible this must be for you.’ He saw Alex’s hand emerge tentatively from beneath the bedclothes, and gripped it tightly. ‘It’s gonna be okay Alex. Whatever happens we’ll deal with it. Okay?’ ‘Hold me Walter. Please. I’m so scared.’ Alex said, the uncertainty in his voice tugging at Walter’s heart. That his Alex should be reduced to this made him want to scream in rage. ‘Shh.’ Walter climbed onto the bed and stretched out, lifting Alex towards him. His fingers carded absently through the dishevelled, matted hair and he was glad that at that moment Alex wasn’t able to see his face. ‘If the staff say it’s okay, would you like a bath and a hair wash?’ ‘Yes please.’ ‘Okay. When Fox gets back, we’ll ask.’ Ignoring the mess the sea and two days of laying in bed had made of Alex’s hair, Walter wrapped his arms around the trembling form and lay still until Alex relaxed again. ************* When he opened the door some time later, Fox almost walked out again. Alex was sitting up, almost hidden in Walter’s arms, his head resting on Walter’s chest. Walter’s feet were only just short of touching the end of the bed as he lay next to Alex. Walter heard the door and looked up. ‘Fox. Fancy a cuddle?’ This was such an un-Walter-like expression, Fox smiled, unable to resist. ‘Okay.’ Reaching out his hand, he waited until Fox was squeezed onto the bed and Alex was lying on his lap, his head pillowed on Walter’s chest, Walter’s arm holding him safely. Walter reached out and put an arm around Fox’s shoulder, pulling him towards him, his firm hold reassuring Fox he wouldn’t let him fall. They stayed like that, quietly relaxed for the first time in three days, until Walter realised that it was almost time for supper and decided it was probably better if they weren’t all snuggled together when the nursing staff came in with Alex’s evening meal. *********** The senior nurse agreed Alex could have a wash, but she wouldn’t allow him out of bed without a doctor’s agreement. And being late Sunday evening, getting one proved difficult. There *were* doctors on duty, she informed Walter in a tone that suggested he had better realise she was in charge, but they had other things to do besides making sure patients looked their best for visitors. Only Fox’s swift intervention prevented Walter’s full range of views on the standard of medical care Alex was receiving from being broadcast to the whole floor. The nurse seemed to sense what the younger man’s interference had stopped the older one from saying. ‘You think you can do so much better? Go ahead!’ She snapped. Walter’s jaw clenched several times. ‘Fine.’ He snapped, brushing Fox’s hand off his forearm as he turned away. *********** After that, to everyone’s relief, Fox and Walter became Alex’s main carers. Sharing the tasks between them, they did everything from feeding him and helping him to the bathroom to reading from the papers to him. They took it in turns to drive out to nearby restaurants and bring back three meals twice a day – Fox had offered to get their breakfasts, but Alex reassured him the hospital kitchens couldn’t ruin orange juice and toast - which they shared in Alex’s room. They had also persuaded Alex’s neurologist that they were capable of getting him in and out of a bath without causing him further injury. The woman the three of them had dubbed ‘Nurse Ratchet’ evidently had the following few days off. Fox joked that it was probably due to stress as Walter’s outburst had been the first time anyone had ever questioned her authority. Even Alex understood that Walter hadn’t found the comment amusing. Walter prided himself on never, whatever the provocation, being rude to women. Her replacement saw to it that they understood the need to be very careful when handling Alex, handed Walter a couple of towels, told them to pull the cord if they needed anything, then closed the bathroom door behind her. ************* When Alex was undressed, Walter guided him to the side of the bath. ‘Okay Alex. Lean on me and I’ll help you in.’ Walter steadied Alex as he climbed into the bath. Fox stood the other side, and, between them, they lowered Alex into the warm water. He let out a contented sigh as he leaned back, letting the water lap around him. Fox put the towels onto the radiator to warm, then knelt at the side of the bath. ‘Alex, is the water okay?’ ‘Yeah.’ Alex said blissfully, making Fox and Walter laugh. Although they both knelt at the side of the bath, they let Alex soak for a while before picking up the bars of soap Fox had bought with him on their vacation, knowing they were Alex and Walter’s favorite in anticipation of other baths in which he could use them. Alex smelled the soap as Walter and Fox lathered the foam onto their washcloths. ‘Strawberry. Where did you get it?’ ‘Bought it with us.’ Fox said smugly. Alex squirmed happily as he was washed, then lay quietly, Fox’s arm under his shoulders while Walter washed his hair. Relishing the clean feeling, he stepped cautiously out of the bath, grateful for both Fox’s and Walter’s steadying hands on his arms, finally wriggling ticklishly as he was dried thoroughly with the warm towels. Walter combed his damp hair, flattening almost all of the countless spikes which the towel-drying had raised from his scalp. Walter held him as Fox helped him step into a clean pair of boxers, and he pulled on his t-shirt, his eyes bright with emotion for the first time in three days. ‘Thank you.’ Both men hugged him, holding him protectively close. Almost as soon as he was tucked into the bed, Alex’s eyes closed, and, within a few minutes, he was asleep. ************ It wasn’t always as peaceful. Fox sported a cut on his forehead where Alex had lashed out in frustrated rage as Fox was feeding him and forgot to explain what was on the plate. Walter had given up looking in the mirror when he showered to avoid the sight of his chest and arms covered with the bruises from Alex’s frequent violent outbursts, hitting out at Walter evidently his only outlet for his increasing frustration. Part of him understood it was wrong, and he should control his temper, but the other part found him regularly fighting Walter’s embrace – always his last action before leaving Alex for the night - with a violence he had thought himself no longer capable of. When he was alone, he wondered why Walter allowed him to behave so badly, but they never discussed his obvious need to hurt someone whom Alex could be certain wouldn’t strike back or reject him for his behavior. Walter always waited until Alex was still again before giving him a final hug prior to finally leaving, often having to grit his teeth as Alex’s lean frame pressed onto his sore ribs or forearms. Alex waited until he was sure Walter wasn’t coming back, then turned onto his side, facing away from the door and fell into what had become a familiar pattern of crying until sleep overcame him. It was important to him that neither Fox nor Walter ever saw him cry. He didn’t want them to think it was something they had done or not done that was the cause of his tears. He understood that, until his sight returned, he was utterly reliant on them. He wouldn’t let his mind dwell on the possibility that his sight loss might be permanent. If it was, he knew they would grow tired of caring for him 24/7 and move him into a residential home. Which they would, he knew, select with the meticulous care they gave to every big decision. And visit him regularly. But they wouldn’t keep him. He knew that. 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