Fangbase - Reviews

The Great American Music Hall, SanFransisco, CA

Thursday 31st October 2002

This Halloween instead of staying at home and shunning trick or treaters, my friend Alison and I decided to venture out in all of our finery to see The Damned play at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco.

We arrived with an hour to spare and parked the car a couple of blocks up from the venue. Once at the venue we were biding our time by the tour bus parked in front and lo and behold Captain Sensible appeared and started wandering about noncommitantly. I decided that if once in my lifetime I was going to act like a giddy fan this was as good a time as any, so I asked Captain if I might get my picture taken with him. He was very amiable and low key. I introduced myself and shook hands with Captain, and he shook hands with Alison.

Then a drunk homeless guy named something similar to Pythagarus introduced himself to all of us, and so there we were, a motly crew all shaking hands laughing into our Cheerios. (Or we would be if we'd had any...)

Captain gave Alison and me his bowl of grapes, making sure to remove the candy bar planted in the middle, first. He thanked us for coming to see The Damned and I told him I'd seen them the year last at that very venue.

We continued our conversation and Captain inquired if I was anything in particular for Halloween seeing as I was wearing wings. I told him I guessed I was just myself with wings on, but that a friend had asked me if I was 'Tweaker Bell'. That comment seemed to elude him and Alison and I
explained how it was like Disney's 'Tinker Bell' but not...

At last Captain had to bid us goodbye so Alison and I resumed our spot in line and watched as two young women with a kid dressed as a witch came along and rapped on the door of the tour bus. Seconds passed and the door opened. "Look!" one of the women exclaimed, "It's Captain Sensible!"

As they were sucked into the wondrous vortex of the Damned's tour bus Alison and I cooed over how cute the whole thing was. I made a note to myself to obtain a kid for next year.

The Show

Once inside Alison and I stationed ourselves at the stage divider in front of where I knew Captain always plays.

There were two opening bands, Throw Rag and The Dwarves. The only thing they had in common was the love of torturing me.

Throw Rag, or Dish Rag as Alison calls them, were first. Throw Rag featured a sweaty fat guy in a diaper and a carny looking vocalist. The rest of the band were in drag.

At first I was ready and willing to listen, intrigued by the washboard looking instrument one of the guy's was playing, until it became clear that I was not allowed to have a chance to like this band. Throughout the set I was subjected to the fat guy's ass in my face and lewd gestures from the crusty 'singer'. The fat guy kept shouting that I had "stolen his wings"... Don't get me wrong, I'm a big advocate of audience/band interaction, but the band was so obsessed by my presence that not only was I lucky enough to get my head beaten upon with the fat guy's tambourine repeatedly, but I also got to have a trumpet blown in my face.

Half way through the show the fat guy inquired if I was alright. How fucking sweet. I'm sorry, but no, I wasn't crying yet. Anything else that might have happened I've blocked out of my memory. However, I recall chuckling at the trouble the vocalist had walking around the cables without tripping, wondering if it was a blessing that his mic was turned way down, and praying that we wouldn't have to see his ugly wrinkled cock. (By the end of the set he was down to his skivvies. Ugh, lost my lunch...) I figured that a headlining band was allowed to do whatever the hell they wanted, but that an opening act should never be pretentious enough to think that the audience wants to be subjected to a flacid cock.

I concluded that I didn't care for Throw Rag, and it wasn't even because the music was boring, but for personal reasons, like my sore head...

The Dwarves were better. They were a punk band. Punk bands in general get people rowdy. Punk bands in general are made up of rowdy people. During The Dwarves set I had my hair yanked out by the vocalist, his microphone slammed into my teeth and I got kicked in the head one of the times he stage dived.

All in all, I enjoyed the Dwarves and all the madness they supplied, the fast pace of the music made an allowance for a little pain and I even expected it. They were entertaining without being annoying and entertainment is what I like. If Id a notion to be annoyed I would've babysat instead of gone to a concert.

The Damned

...And then our heroes The Damned were up to perform. All were in wonderful Halloween costumes. Monty Oxy Moron was sporting a period costume and carrying a tasty looking brain in a bowl. Patricia looked lovely in a vinyl nun's dress and habit. Pinch was a bloody surgeon, Captain Sensible had an eyeball mess coming off his head and the looks of a punk zombie, and the illustrious Mister Vanian was spectacular as a scary wherewolf!

Zombie Captain stepped into the pit in front of the stage and blessed us with his melodious guitar licks, stopping once to kiss one lucky girl's hand.

Dave skulked and creeped, making his way up into the balcony above the stage where he appeared in his pallid, yet attractive human form.

Interspersed with their new songs from their album Grave Disorder, the band played old favourites such as 'Under the Floor Again', 'Nasty', and 'Wait For the Blackout'.

The croud was a very good one and everyone had lots of fun. The band made a few quips and of course Cap made a customary speech saying he would say "God bless you all" but he didn't believe in a god... and how for Thanks giving we should all spare the poor turkeys. Let them fly away! (Dave pointed out that turkeys can't fly.)

Captain recognised me in the first row. I was pleased that Captain played his guitar behind his head and did that rad screaming thing with the beer can. It was ace!

The band played very well and kept the energy level very high. The whole band was very tuned into one another and worked 'like a well oiled machine'.

They played for almost two hours and were showered with applause (-and cigarettes, much to Captain's chagrin.) Dave danced like a- well, a dancing fool, and for the encore they played 'Curtain Call' and (naturally) 'Smash It Up'. During 'Smash It Up' a big hairy mascot monster assaulted the band, notably Captain who took turns with Dave in humping it.

All in all it was the best Halloween I've had since I was a kid and it's so nice to see a band like The Damned still going strong.

They're a bunch of really decent people who know how to have a good time and the audience responds so well to a band that responds to the audience.

I've only seen them twice and both times they put on a top show. They are true performers and artists and true human beings which, I think, is even more important. I'll be right at the front again next year waiting to have a good time.

------Jolene