Letter From The Commish

It's becoming a tradition, this thing called fantasy football. Nigh on seven years in the making, we've come to the last season of the second millenium. In that time, we've crowned four league champions, two of them twice over. We've seen this little pasttime of ours evolve from little more than a two division, ten team fishwrap league with weekly newsletters mailed by the post office to a three division, twelve team 100% online outfit. I hope that, as the 7th season approaches, the transition to a web site based league with its (hopefully) glossier appearance, provides merely one more enhancement to what is already a league steeped in history and tradition.

But more than anything, what brings this league to life for yours truly is the renewing of friendships; of rivalries built on years of competition and of the joys and anguishes that accompany each exciting win or each heartbreaking loss. The typical OFFL team averages 4.5 years of membership with the league. And that's for a league just beginning its 7th season. We have 11 of last year's 12 owners on board. Our lovable Paul Young (Bone Club) has bowed out but has already been making rumblings about a possible return to the fold next year if a vacancy opens. The poor Bone Club was never the same after the night of December 8, 1997 when he led his band of Boners onto the Strange Highway onramp and came home with a last second 43-42 loss to Coach Widtfeldt's team, losing out on a playoff berth that was his to take, losing to a team that was 0-5 in the division at the time, to a team that had started the season 2-7-1. A 1998 disaster of 2-12-1 had the vultures picking at the Bones of the once proud back to back champion Club. So, for now, goodbye Paul. Hello again to Easy E Eric (7th year), Mark (aka Grande) (7th yr), PP Pete (6th yr), Kip & Lisa (5th), Paul N (4th), Kevin & Kyle (4th), Jim R (2nd), Jason (2nd), Brian (2nd) and Joe (2nd). And hello for the first time to the new team on the block, the Bearded Clams, fronted by their three headed ownership consortium of Jim Birkel, Craig Gill and Alan France.

The Commish has examined the league's 1999 schedule. Once again, the computer has spit out some interesting matchups. What should we look for in 1999? Here's a sampling:

• Can the Iguanas finally back up their talkin' with some walkin'? In 1997, the Iguanas narrowly missed out on their 1st playoff appearance, losing to the Crawling King Snakes 45-18 in Week 15. The Snakes used this win as a springboard to their first and only league championship in what turned out to be their last year in the league. Last season, the Iguanas finally broke through to the second season only to lose to the dreaded Strange Highways 34-30 on a botched FG attempt that led to the Highways' winning TD. The Iguanas will get Grande To The Party twice this year, including Week 14 as teams are fighting for a playoff spot.

• Can Grande To TheParty finally win the big game or must Coach Will continue to live down the taunts and the comparisons to Bud Grant and Marv Levy? 0-2 in title games, leaving Emmitt Smith on the bench in one and finishing last year an abysmal 0-4-1 after storming out of the gate at 8-2. The Party's path this year includes playing the Strange Highways twice out of division, including Week 13. They play the Palace of Swords and the Greenback Iguanas two times each, closing out the regular season with games against both of those teams.

• Will the Strange Highways be back for a 5th title game appearance in 7 years or will they be the team that finished 3-12 in 1995? Coach Widtfeldt's teams are never dull and they're never .500 ballclubs. Due to E's size 14DDD mouth, he generally gets everyone's best shots. The Iguanas, the Party, PMS, the NFC Norris and the Natural Mystics are just a few of the teams who would love nothing better than to spank the fragile one. The Highways will face the Retreads and Natural Mystics twice in division play. They also get two cracks at Grande To The Party, a perennial Highway roadblock. The annual Highway-Iguana trashfest will be held Week 11 this season, just as playoff races grow interesting.

• Will this (finally) be the year that PMS shows the league that two women CAN win a title? Or will the Highways' scouting department once again serve as after hours consultants, schooling Coaches Meyer and Koll in the fine art of determining whether this is Erik Kramer's career year or not? PMS appears to have drafted one of its better teams in recent years. Perhaps that extra dose of testosterone present in the PMS camp on draft day will prove to negate all the estrogen flowing from years past. If PMS is to make the "dance", the must get by the Swords in Week 14 and the Iguanas in Week 15.

• Will the King Of Dogs attempt to reunite the entire Arizona Cardinal collection of skill players once more after going to battle last year with Jake the Snake, Murrell, Rob Moore and Frank Sanders all in the starting lineup? Blessed with assignment to the weakest division, the Doggies play NFC Norris and the Beardless Clams twice each. They also get the Palace of Swords as their extra non-division game.

• Can Montezuma's Revenge keep their feet above the mire that appears to be 1999's version of the Dewey Division and clinch their first ever playoff spot or will they fall back into the muck? They face the ex-champions in Week 3 and 4 in the form of the Swords and Highways . Weeks 12 and 13, they face 1998 high flyers Grande To The Party and the Retreads. The Retreads are on the schedule also in Week 9.

• Can the Bearded Clams pick up the pieces of their first league draft from the floor in time to put together a solid season or will they, like so many other league virgins, be forced to spread wide and take it for their first year while the rest of the league gets off with their carcass? The Baked Clams start with a familiar foe from their baseball days, the NFC Norris. They quickly find themselves in the fire with the Swords and Highways back to back Weeks 2 and 3. They also play the Natural Mystics twice this year in another matchup of old baseball fantasy rivals.

• NFC Norris anyone? We thought not. One can barely ponder upon the Norris without quickly thinking of past Norris magical acts such as "Watch me pull a drop 7 out of 8 from my hat and take a 1st place team to the cellar in record time" to close the '96 season or "For my next trick, I'll average 35 points a game, fifth in the league, but go 0-5-1 in the division on my way to a 6-8-1 season in '98?" With that in mind, 1999 brings the Norris from the strongest division to possibly the weakest. The Commish cannot wait to see what new trick Coach Nerz has been practicing. The Norris squares off against the Retreads and Iguanas in Weeks 2 and 3 and sees their old rival the Strange Highways in Week 6. But two games against the Bearded Clams and the King of Dogs should help. PMS offers up an extra non-division game this year.

• The Palace of Swords, fresh off their 1998 title, find themselves sharing division space with Grande To The Party and the Greenback Iguanas, not to mention team PMS. The Swords open right up with the Party in Week 1 and meet the Iguanas in Week 5. The Highways offer up a challenge in Week 8. Weeks 10 and 15 are against the Iguanas and the Party again. The Swords get the King of Dogs a second time in non-division action this year.

• Second year franchise the Stanley Steamers find themselves in similar territory to 1998. The Steamers, Highways and Natural Mystics all shared a division together last year, with the Highways coming out on top. This year's addition to the division happens to be a Steamers rival--the Retreads. The Steamers meet the Retreads in Weeks 5 and 10 while playing the Highways Weeks 7 and 14. The Iguanas are on the schedule twice this year, too. Will the Steamers' injured and unsigned players report to camp soon enough to salvage the season or will Coach Stamer begin to let his lineup ride once again as the season winds down? Stay tuned.

• The Natural Mystics open against a shorthanded Stanley Steamer bunch in Week 1. Two tilts against the Strange Highways, the Retreads and the Bearded Clams are on this year's schedule. Week 2 sees Coach Wassem square off against roommate Coach Will and his never quiet Grande To The Party. Weeks 5-8 loom large with dates against (in order) the Highways, the Swords, the Retreads and the Iguanas. Will the Mystics pull off another of their patented 6-9 seasons (closing 4-1 of course) or will they find their way to the playoffs again only to bow out in Round One?

• The Retreads talked as much smack on draft day as any owner in recent memory, actually scoring a draw with "Ali" Selassie Widtfeldt. Now, can they back it up? They get the Highways right out of the shoot in a game that already has a side bet attached. Grande To The Party awaits in Week 3 and the Iguanas in Week 4. Friend and foe Coach Stamer and his Stanley Steamers are on the schedule Weeks 5 and 10. The Retreads play the Palace of Swords Week 12 and close out the regular season in Week 15 with the Highways again.

The divisions have been assigned, the draft has taken place and the schedule has been drawn up. It's time to throw on the pads, strap on the helmets and wait for the whistle to blow. Sit back and enjoy the ride. It's the last one of the century. Let's get it on.

~Go deep, I'll throw it.

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