1999 Week 12 Letter from the Commish

OFFL	`Omaha Fantasy Football League` "Go deep, I'll throw it!"
fantfbl@yahoo.com	web:http://www.oocities.org/Colosseum/Pressbox/7274

Call it "The Return of The Living Dead." The previously dorment King of Dogs yipped and yapped their way to a Week 12 explosion of 40 points, its highest total of the season as they finally got over the canine hump for their first victory of the season. The win prevented them from being the first ever team to go through an entire OFFL season winless. All Coach Rady could muster after the game, so emotional was he, was a lilting "Bow wow wow, yippee yo yippee yay!" The goalposts came down after the game and were paraded down Top Dog Street in Dogtown. The pressure is off the Dogs, the pressure is off the other league teams and the pressure is off Coach Widtfeldt's Highways who no longer have any pressure because they no longer have any pulse. The Highways had talked during the week leading up to the game about a possible scenario that called for upsets over both the Mystics and Retreads this week while the Highways won and picked up a game in the standings. Alas for Coach Widtfeldt, the upsets occurred but, rather than two of them, the number was three.

Call it "Revenge of The Nerds." PMS, that 3-7-1 juggernaut, proved to be a giant killer once again this season. Its fourth win was a 42-12 bloodbath over the Natural Mystics. It was PMS' 4th win in 5 career confrontations with the Mystics. Of their four wins on the '99 season, two have come against the Mystics and Grande To The Party. They also have a tie to show for their game against the Bearded Clams. The Mystics blew an opportunity to take back sole possession of first place in the Howe division. Still, at 8-4, they control their own destiny.

Call it "Streetcar Named Desire." The Palace of Swords, who coulda been a contenda in another division (the Dewey), continued to trade punches with the Retreads, countering this time with a 37-27 victory and convincingly ending the Retreads' seven game winning streak in a game that was not as close as the score. When last these two teams met, the Retreads won by an 80-44 score. In Week 4 of the '98 season, the Swords got this head to head off with a quick jab and a 72-46 win over the Tards. This time, the Retreads never led. While the game means nothing to the Swords in terms of the playoffs since they will be spending the holidays at home this season, it meant first place all alone for the Retreads. But like the Mystics, the Retreads looked the gift horse in the mouth...and blinked. So at 8-4, the Retreads remain in a tie with the Mystics as their Week 14 showdown draws ever nearer. Coach Pedersen finds his team still has a little giddy up and go entering the home stretch and he'd like nothing more than to finish the season on a strong note, including a Week 15 win over the Party.

The Greenback Iguanas benefited from the flurry of upsets in Week 12. They clinched the first playoff spot, no worse than the wild card. Barring an upset next week, they can win the Cheatem division outright with a Week 14 victory over Grande To The Party. With losses last Sunday by both the Retreads and Mystics, it appears that the wildcard has been snatched away from the Howe division by the Cheatem boys, meaning either the Iguanas or Party will be the wildcard with the other owning the division. The ironic thing about that, though, is that (as Coach Detwiler observed) Round 1 of the playoffs would be yet another Party-Iguanas matchup, their 3rd of the year and 2nd within three weeks. The leaves the representatives from the Howe and Dewey divisions squaring off for the other OFFL Super Bowl slot.

The Dewey division has gotten extremely interesting the past two weeks. While the Clams keep coughing up hair balls the past few weeks, the Norris, the team that taught us all the meaning of "chokers", has slowly, silently, stealthily crawled their way back into playoff contention, the latest that that can be said about the once Porous Norris in several seasons. Coach Nerzzzz has not led an especially fearless looking team in '99. He has made numerous personnel moves via both trade and waivers. Some did not work out. Despite all the obstacles, the Norris have gained two games the past two weeks and stand poised to assume their positions with the '78 Yankees as teams who made up big deficits. The Clams continue their Helen Keller ways, remaining deaf, dumb and blind while the outer league swirls all around them. Hey Clams, show us you got heart. Post a little smack out there on the bulletin board. Let us know that you're alive and doing fine...signs, signs....

The Dewey division contenders and the Howe division winners both have one thing in common; all four of them each control their own destiny. None of the four are likely to earn that wildcard berth as mentioned earlier. It's D-Day minus 1 for the Howe hopefuls while it's D-Day minus 2 for the Dewey debutantes. And of course, either team can still claim the Cheatem division crown. And lastly, yes, Highways, the boat has set sail and you're on it. We'll pick you up at the gate upon your return next fall.

Bearded Clams--Natural Mystics (8-4), Montezuma's Revenge (4-8), NFC Norris (6-6); combined 18-18
NFC Norris-----PMS (4-7-1), King of Dogs (1-11), Bearded Clams (6-5-1); combined 11-23-2

Greenback Iguanas---Stanley Steamers (4-8), Grande To The Party (9-3), PMS (4-7-1); combined 17-18-1
Grande To The Party-Strange Highways (6-6), Greenback Iguanas (10-2), Palace of Swords (6-6); combined 22-14

Retreads--------Montezuma's Revenge (4-8), Natural Mystics (8-4), Strange Highways (6-6); combined 18-18
Natural Mystics-Bearded Clams (6-5-1), Retreads (8-4), Stanley Steamers (4-8); combined 18-17-1

The Commish has begun work on the annual record book update. The early obversations are that, as predicted earlier this year, scoring has been down and will be reflected by the fact that any team that scores less than 398 points for the year will make the alltime top 10 list for teams scoring the fewest in a season. As many as four teams have that chance (King of Dogs 223, Steamers 269, PMS 308, NFC Norris 313). Montezuma's Revenge needs 56 points these last three weeks so they should be safe. On the flip side, the Iguanas need only 12 more running back points (they have 164) to hit the top 10 for RB points in a year. Everything after that is gravy. They could legitimately finish with the 3rd most ever, currently 208 points by the '95 Bone Club. That is but a preview of the goodies to be found. The current record book remains posted. The 1999 version will be posted sometime during the playoffs.