Letter From The Commish

As the clock struck zero on the Packers, on Week 15, on the 1999 OFFL regular season and on the playoff hopes of not one, not two, not three but four teams, Brett Favre's pass seemingly floated in slow motion across the gridiron into the front of the end zone and was deflected away from the outstretched arms of WR Bill Schroeder, away from a Packer win, and away from playoff berths for the NFC Norris and the Natural Mystics. Instead, Randy Moss and the Minnesota Vikings reigned supreme on this night and the Bearded Clams and Grande To The Party reigned as the Dewey division champion and the 1999 wildcard team. Surrounded by the derilium coming from the Party's locker room located right next to the Mystics', when asked for a response, all Coach Wassem could say was, "I feel very tired right now. This one will take awhile."

The Party entered the MNF game with a 26 point lead but the knowledge that the Palace of Swords still had Jeff George, Leroy Hoard, Dorsey Levens and Bill Schroeder on deck. Meanwhile, the NFC Norris trailed the Bearded Clams 34-26 but with possible points still on the table in the names of Brett Favre and Gary Anderson. The Clams surely felt pessimistic as Coaches Birkel, France and Gill sat down in front of the TV for pre-game. Coach Nerz was closer to his 1st ever OFFL playoff berth then at any time during his four year coaching career. But Anderson's 6 points weren't enough for the Norris who suffered a zero point night from Brett Favre (his mind was on Mary rather than whoop ass) and once again proved that in OFFL even when things change, everything still really stays the same. Coach Nerz made it interesting in 1999 but the Norris failed again to succeed in their attempt for a first ever league playoff berth. And what of that? A detailed look shows a team by team breakdown of how many years it took each team to make the playoffs. Numbers are through 1999.

* Originally known as the Resin Balls
** Originally known as the Machine
***Originally known as the LA Riots
****Originally known as A Nickel Bag of Funk
*****Originally known as A Three Perfect Pair

The Strange Highways have won more playoff games than any team in OFF history, sporting a 6-2 alltime playoff record and two crowns. Equally impressive is that both losses were in title games as well. The Bone Club is a close second, retiring with a 5-1 alltime playoff record. The Bone Club is the only franchise to qualify for the championship game three years in a row. Strong 1994 and 1995 squads won back to back titles before their slowly aging Packer-like roster somehow managed to backdoor their way into a 3rd title game for Coach Lombardi. The old boys couldn't three peat though and plunged to 6-9 and 2-13 their last two seasons before retiring in disgrace.

• The Iguanas have finished .500 or above all four seasons in the league.

• The Palace of Swords are the consumate .500 team all time, 37-36-2, scoring 2558 points, allowing 2599 points.

• A comparison of 2nd year teams: While the Retreads scored 714 points in their 1st season, the King of Dogs have scored 753 points in their first two seasons combined. The Stanley Steamers have done even worse, scoring 729 points combined for their first two seasons. While Montezuma's Revenge has scored 908 points, they have not made the playoffs, making the Retreads the only team of 1998's newcomers who have yet made a serious league impact.

• Every time the Strange Highways make the playoffs, they make it to the title game. Every time Grande To The Party makes the playoffs, they too make it to the title game. The two teams have never met in a playoff game because each team makes the playoffs in alternating years: 1995, 1997 and 1999 for the Party; 1994, 1996 and 1998 for the Highways. One of these years....

• League scoring was 31.0 ppg this season, the lowest since our inaugural season of 1993. Back in '93, the utility player did not exist. The closest season since was 1996 when the league averaged 31.1 points per team.

1999 All League First & Second Teams

MVP: Kurt Warner--Retreads
Rookie of Year: Edgerrin James--Retreads
Most Improved Player: Peyton Manning--Natural Mystics

MVP goes to the playoff who scores the most points for the season. ROY goes to the highest scoring rookie. MIP goes to the player who increases his scoring total in OFFL games the most from one season to the next. Rookies are not eligible for MIP.

1990s All Decade League First & Second Teams

Go deep, I'll throw it!

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