Letter From The Commish

Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit from out of my hat. And voila, just like that, the ranks of the undefeated numbered but three: the Strange Highways, the Greenback Iguanas and the Natural Mystics. How fitting that the Iguanas and the Highways should be side by side once more. One team can't go the bathroom without the other wanting to go also--both teams relish getting the better of the other one But now that we've reached this point with both teams at 2-0, they will be watching over their shoulders to see how the other is faring and thinking ahead about their impending Week 11 confrontation.

The Iguanas lead the Cheatem division by one game over the Palace of Swords and Grande To The Party while the Mystics and Highways are tied in the Howe division, one game up on the 1-1 Retreads. But what about the Dewey division? In the pre-season, yours truly questioned the competition coming out of this division. After two weeks, the combined records for the four teams is 2-6 which would tend to support that theory.

OK, so it's still early but the Commish is going to go out on a limb and predict that the Dewey division will be the poor step sister of the league. In fact, it could replicate the 1997 season where the Moe Division had a 7-8 team representing it in the playoffs. The only team the Commish sees here who could make this division even semi-respectable is Montezuma's Revenge. Sorry Norris, Dogs and Clams but your teams are fatally flawed. But looking at the bright side, the 2000 season is only 11 months away. And if you're lucky enough to drag the Revenge down into the muck with the rest of you, I suppose any of you could walk away with the division crown. But don't count on a wild card.

The most competitive division may very well be the Cheatem division. This is nothing that the Commish didn't already say in the post-draft newsletter. The Swords, Party, Iguanas and PMS comprise a very strong top to bottom group of teams. After only two weeks however, the Swords have lost their starting QB for the year and the Iguanas have lost their top RB for the season. Neither was even touched---just another reason for natural grass. Anyway, these injuries surely help the Party and PMS. Yet, as the Swords proved in '98, a team can overcome an injury to a major player and still win the title.

Over in the Howe division, the Highways and Mystics are tied for the lead to 2-0 with the Retreads and Steamers close behind at 1-1. The Highways are winning ugly but they are winning. If they ever begin to score some points, they could be a team to contend with. The Mystics cannot expect to keep scoring 60 points a game. That will end soon enough. Their biggest concern should be getting points from the running backs. The Retreads are a shell of their 1998 team but are still strong enough to be a factor while the Steamers would be greatly helped if Joey Galloway signed a contract and returned to the team. Without him, the Steamers look to be a player or two short still of having enough firepower to keep up.

Has anyone noticed that the King of Dogs have allowed 109 points already after only two games? It would be worse if they were scoring enough points to have a chance to win. But averaging only 19.5 points per game so far means that they could have allowed only 75 points and they'd still have been blown out twice already. On the flip side, the Highways have only allowed 43 points so far, 21.5 a game. It certainly improves a team's chances of winning when the opponent can't score. Speaking of not scoring, where's PMS been? They've scored only 40 points so far, one point more than the Dogs have managed to post. At 0-2, PMS needs a win pretty fast or their season will be a repeat of their 1998 year.

Just as yours truly was going to press with this, word of one of the league's biggest administrative snafus ever has just occurred. Coach Jim Rady of the King of Dogs staked a waiver claim for Byron Hanspard by letting go of TE Mark Chmura. However, since the Dogs had just waived TE Troy Drayton one week before when they added RB Lamar Smith to the roster, they had no other TE left on the roster. According to rule VII, 2 in the rulebook, each position must have the minimum number of players needed to field a starting lineup at that position. Without a TE on the roster, the Dogs could not fill that position on gameday as the roster would now appear. Thus, the move has been voided by the league's front office. Henceforth, let 1999 be known as the "Year of Rady's White Collar Crime."

So, with that, except for Coach Jim "Jr." Rady, who hasn't the hands to catch it anyway.......

-Go deep, I'll throw it!

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