1999 Week 9 Letter from the Commish

OFFL	`Omaha Fantasy Football League` "Go deep, I'll throw it!"
fantfbl@yahoo.com	web:http://www.oocities.org/Colosseum/Pressbox/7274

It took nine weeks, but the league's two worst teams finally won on the same day. In fact, they even tripled their combined wins before this week from one to three. The Dogs shed the possible stigma of being the only 0-15 team ever with their victory over the overly humble Palace of Swords in Week K-9. PMS, equally due, broke through with a 36 point performance a week before the rematch with Week 10 opponent Grande To The Party, a team which PMS has played well against over the long haul, winning in Week 5 14-8. The NFC Norris' loss to PMS should come as no surprise in that the Norris were due to begin their swan song soon. They were fortunate, however, because the division leading Bearded Clams too lost, allowing the Norris to remain still within 1 1/2 games of the Dewey lead. The Swords were not so lucky. At 4-5, they now find themselves a full 5 lengths behind the Greenbark Iguanas in the race for the Cheatem crown with only six weeks left. For all practical purposes, the Swords are dull and dead. The Dogs' win also takes the pressure off the rest of league teams to not become "the one", the team to lose first to a winless team. The other coaches have asked the Commish to extend thanks on their behalf.

Oh wait. The Commish was just daydreaming. Week 9 may prove to have been the Dogs' best chance for a win by the time 1999 is fully in the books. Actually, they have several games still on the schedule that they could always break through and win. However, they need to continue scoring 30 or more points to do it. Like in Week 9. Look at how scoring 48 points finally brought a victory to the PMS camp. The Dogs' remaining games in order are: Bearded Clams (Wounded Clams is more like it), PMS (someone must win), Strange Highways (always capable of dropping a brick-or a load), Palace of Swords (missing a piston), NFC Norris (see Highways and Swords), and Montezuma's Revenge (have underachieved-better than their record). But so long as the "getalong little" Doggies are averaging less than 20 points a game, most of their opponents should be safe. Woe to the team that loses. Four of the six still have something to play for. A loss would be crippling.

Something else that could change the look of this year's playoff race is the late return of WR Joey Galloway to the Seattle Seahawks. Now, while my pal Joey has asserted that he's returned because he discovered how much he missed not playing (almost gets you right...HERE!), let's be honest. By returning before Week 11, he guarantees himself a full year of NFL service and all that goes along with it. Moreover, he probably realized the team was playing just fine, thank you, without him. Besides, who doesn't want to be on a front runner (like the '86 Mets, the 80's Miami Hurricanes or the championship Sooner teams, the '99 Mets, the '95 Huskers, 80's Lakers then 90's Bulls...). But now that Joey is back (and if you ask, Coach Wassem will surely remind you that it was he who took a chance on Joey as a rookie in 1995), what impact will he have our OFFL playoff race? As it stands, Galloway is property of the Stanley Steamers; although rumors already abound about a certain breezy Howe division team who's making back channel inquiries. The Steamers have tended to stand pat with their rosters since their arrival to the league in 1998 and, for the purpose of this discussion, Joey is still a Steamer. Coach Stamer's team plays the Retreads in Week 10. The Commish would be mildly surprised if Galloway were able to contribute much this week, assuming he suits up. The Retreads shouldn't have anything to worry about. Week 11 should be Galloway's coronation back to the lineup. The Steamers will be facing Grande To The Party that day. Week 12 holds the NFC Norris followed by the Greenback Iguanas, Strange Highways and Natural Mystics in Weeks 13-15. It would stand to reason that Galloway is hitting his peak at the very end versus the Highways and Mystics in important division matchups. So expect Galloway to somehow factor into the Howe race before everything is said and done.

While Galloway is coming, Emmitt Smith and Troy Aikman are going, Aikman to compare notes with Steve Young about noted neurosurgeons. Also lost earlier was Michael Irvin. And Wayne Chrebet has broken his hand. The suddenly roster depleted Steamed Clams owns each and every one of these players. Has the door opened somewhat for the Clams' rivals in the Dewey division? The Clams will need to pick up a QB this week. They need to decide on a 2nd RB to start alongside Marshall Faulk and they'll have to continue starting Kevin Johnson most likely (although he's not a bad player). Meanwhile, around the league it's the quarterbacks who seem to be in vogue this week. The Highways picked up Jeff Blake once again. The Swords dropped Jeff Garcia in favor of Tony Banks and Grande To The Party felt compeled to acquire Chris Miller upon hearing the news of Brian Griese's updated injury situation.

This week, as if you haven't all figured it out already, marks the beginning of each team's second trip through the division wars. Dewey division games are Montezuma's Revenge vs. NFC Norris and the King of Dogs vs. Bearded Clams. The one break the Clams catch with their injury situation is the fact they find the 0-9 Dogs on their schedule at an opportune moment. Can they take advantage? A Clam win will negate anything that either the Norris or Revenge hope to achieve this week. The loser of that game would find themselves one game further back still. In the Cheatem division, it's the dog paddling Palace of Swords vs. the front running Greenback Iguanas and PMS vs. Grande To The Party. An Iguanas win puts the Swords three back with five to play. A Swords win opens the division back up for not only the Swords but the Party as well regardless of how the Party plays. It goes without saying that the Party is nervous this week having to play a PMS team that has played well against Coach Will more often than not. Moreover, the Party has gone through three QBs and might start Chris Miller this week which would make the number four. Finally, the three way tie in the Howe division will be no more than a two way tie after this week. The Strange Highways play the Natural Mystics while the Retreads play the Stanley Steamers. A Mystics loss puts them a game behind but, more importantly, would also give the Highways a season sweep which could be important come playoff team. The Retreads can do no more than stay in a tie for the divison lead with a win. A loss to the Steamers would be a mild upset and an important division loss.

This just in...the Highways and Revenge have come to terms on a deal that sends Curtis Martin, Antowain Smith and Derrick Alexander to the Revenge in exchange for RBs Cory Dillon and Robert Smith and WR Keyshawn Johnson. I'll leave it to you to sort through that one on your own...at least for now. When you're done with that...