TRUE ROMANCE2-Scene One

ACT TWO

Scene 1

Halfway through the second act overture, the screen again slides on, and we see a series of glimpses of the post-War years: Truman's victory over Dewey, Arthur Godfrey, Senator Joe McCarthy, the New Look, Jackie Robinson, Gorgeous George, a Roller Derby, a movie drive-in, an ad for "Which twin has the Toni?" Then we hear the sound of pouring rain as the curtain rises, and we are in the living room of Dixie Ann's apartment. Everything looks quite different than the rather stark bedroom we saw before. Knickknacks and stuffed animals fill every available space. Upstage left is the tiny kitchen. There is a knock on the door. DIXIE ANN (from the kitchen)
Door's open. (Door opens, and a beautiful 9-year-old girl enters. It is ETIENNE. She wears a raincoat and carries an umbrella. DIXIE ANN hurries on from the kitchen. She is in a muumuu and weighs at least 25 pounds more than when last we saw her. SHE swoops down on Etienne and hugs her.) DIXIE ANN Oh, my precious darlin'. Let's get you out o' those wet clothes.

(SHE takes the raincoat and the umbrella.)

ETIENNE

Aunt Jolene couldn't come up.

DIXIE ANN

Who needs Aunt Jolene when we have each other?

ETIENNE

She's havin' people to dinner.

DIXIE ANN

Aunt Jolene is always havin' people to dinner since they moved to that new house and joined the Country Club.

ETIENNE

Betsy Claire says the next thing they're thinkin' of gettin' is an atomic bomb shelter.

DIXIE ANN

(under her breath)
That's one way of escapin' from Uncle Russell.
(quickly)
You know what I made my precious darlin' tonight?

ETIENNE

What?

DIXIE ANN

Guess.

ETIENNE

Hmm.

DIXIE ANN

Strawberry shortcake! Well, I didn't exactly make it. I bought the ingredients at Piggly Wiggly right after work. I got some of that new whipped cream that you squirt. You know how you love to squirt those cans.

ETIENNE

Grandma Cotter says we eat too many sweets, and it's gonna ruin my complexion.

DIXIE ANN

Oh, Grandma Cotter! Do you know what I would have given for some good old-fashioned strawberry shortcake when I was your age. Do you know what Grandma Cotter's idea of dessert was? Stewed prunes and rhubarb. Now I ask you, would you prefer stewed prunes and rhubarb tonight?

ETIENNE

(laughing)

No.

DIXIE ANN

(hugging her again)
Oh, my baby, I miss you so much when I'm at work and you're at school. Now, after we eat and we do your homework, we're gonna play a wild game of Parcheesi and listen to South Pacific.

ETIENNE

(going to the window)
It's really a shit-assed day.

DIXIE ANN

Etienne! I don't ever want to hear you sayin' a thing like that again!

ETIENNE

That's what Uncle Russell said.

DIXIE ANN

                                        I knew that Uncle Russell uses words like that,
                                        But I didn't know he used them in front o' nieces.
                                        If everybody used words like that,
                                        The whole society would fall to pieces. If it is stormy out, don't fuss or cuss,
Don't follow grandma's lead or Uncle Russ.
Just look about you and say:

It's a caca-poopoo day,
And the sky is dull and gray,
It's a caca-poopoo day
And the sun won't shine.

It's a caca-poopoo day
And the rain won't go away,
It's a caca-poopoo day
But I'm feelin' fine.

Though the winds may howl,
You have to keep yourself together;
Language that is foul
Won't change foul weather.
So---

Though it's a caca-poopoo day,
Let us stay inside and play
And wait till caca-poopoos
Go away.
And wait till caca-poopoos
Go away.

(ETIENNE is delighted. SHE claps her hands and jumps up and down.) DIXIE ANN Now you, precious!

ETIENNE

                                        It's a caca-poopoo day
                                        And the sky is dull and gray,
                                        It's a caca-poopoo day
                                        And the sun won't shine. It's a caca-poopoo day
And the rain won't go away,
It's a caca-poopoo day
But I'm feelin' fine. DIXIE ANN                                         Though the winds may howl,
                                        You have to keep yourself together;
                                        Language that is foul
                                        Won't change foul weather.
                                        So---

TOGETHER

                                        Though it's a caca-poopoo day,
                                        Let us stay inside and play
                                        And wait till caca-poopoos
                                        Go away.
                                        And wait till caca poopoos
                                        Go away.

(THEY begin a kind of a cakewalk, repeating the song
once again, and the dance grows crazier and crazier.
When it is over, THEY both fall on the floor laughing.)

ETIENNE

Oh, Mummy, I love you!

(THEY hug each other in a tight embrace.)

LIGHTS DIM QUICKLY