Scene Seven
During the BLACKOUT, we hear a sudden blast of raunchy music,
and when the LIGHTS RISE, we see on a screen still projections of Nome,
Alaska in the latter days of the Gold Rush. Everything looks jerry-built
and slushy. The last still we see is of a seedy building with a sign announcing:
RICH BAR SALOON & DANCE HALL. Beneath it is a poster telling us: DIRECT
FROM JUNEAU...MISS TRIXIE DAWN with a photo of a hefty, not-so-young blonde.
A POSSE of GRIZZLED and DRUNKEN MINERS lope across the stage, shouting
and shooting off pistols. THEY exit to the left. A set slides on representing
the inside of the saloon filled with more GRIZZLED MEN and over-painted
WOMEN. Directly up center is a small Victorian stage with gas footlights
and a red velvet curtain. The MINERS we saw march across stage now enter
through the swinging doors to join the others. The orchestra strikes up,
the noise gradually subsides and the curtains part revealing a backdrop
of a street in a small western town---every bit as tacky as the backdrop
we saw in the London theatre. IRENE is now part of a CHORUS of SIX, all
dressed in short black satin costumes with black net stockings. Her hair
is now platinum, she sports a mole on one of her cheeks and looks harder
and older than in the previous scene. CHORUS does a simple, slightly suggestive
dance, and the MEN in the audience stamp and whistle. Spotlights falls
on stage right, and TRIXIE DAWN appears. She wears a low-cut white satin
gown studded with rhinestones, and she resembles the photo in the still,
only heavier and older. But from the attention she receives, she is evidently
a local favorite. She sings in the loud, raucous style of the period.)
Sarah Smith was very sweet,
She had no wiles or tricks;
But then she met Dakota Jones
And fell like tons of bricks.
Sarah Smith, she loved him so,
She'd gladly give her life;
She'd follow him to kingdom come
Until she met his wife.
She clutched her heart,
She clutched her head
And turned to him
And calmly said:"Go on, skedaddle,
"Get back in your saddle,
"Go home to your wife and your kid;
"You're smug and conceited,
"You lied and you cheated
"And you ain't shed a tear for what you did."
"Go on, skedaddle,
"Get back in your saddle,
"Go home to your wife and your kid;
"You're smug and conceited,
"You lied and you cheated
"And you ain't shed a tear for what you did."
Dakota said, "But don't you see
"We still can have a life;
"Don't you know, you silly girl,
"A wife is just a wife."
This statement that Dakota made
Was more than she could stand,
She left the room and then returned,
A shotgun in her hand.
She aimed at him
And shot him dead,
Then she looked down
And calmly said:"Go on, skedaddle,
"Get back in your saddle,
"Go home to your wife and your kid;
"You're smug and conceited,
"You lied and you cheated
"And you ain't shed a tear for what you did.""Go on, skedaddle, CHORUS
"Get back in your saddle,
"Go home to your wife and your kid;
"You're smug and conceited,
"You lied and you cheated
"And you ain't shed a tear for what you did."
WOMAN
(HE points to the stage. The WOMAN storms up on the platform and
heads directly for IRENE.)
WOMAN
IRENE
WOMAN
IRENE
SHERIFF
IRENE
SHERIFF
IRENE
IRENE
SHERIFF
SHERIFF
IRENE
SHERIFF
There's no place like Nome, Fritzi,
Greed and vice pollute its aura---
You could not find a worser home, Fritzi,
If you crossed Sodom with Gomorrah.
Evil triumphs, good declines,
And when it comes to skunks and swines---You take the cake!
You take the blasted cake!
Could anyone be baser?
You're corrupt as hell,
You make Jezebel
Seem just like St. Theresa.And you take the cake,
You take the blasted cake!
And you look so French and huggy...
SHERIFF
But a whiff of gold
Makes your heart turn cold
And your little eyes grow buggy.Just take a glance at that innocent face!
How innocent can a face be?
The French, they are a greedy race,
And you're the greediest frog I ever did see!
SHERIFF
And you take the cake,
You take the blasted cake!
You can't resist a nugget---
Poor Ernie Joad,
You grabbed his lode
As soon as he had dug it.
You're a swindler,
You're a fake!
Which is why you take the cake,
You take the blasted cake!
You take the cake!
MINER'S VOICE
You take the cake,
You take the blasted cake!
Could anyone be baser?
You're corrupt as hell,
You make Jezebel
Seem just like St. Theresa.And you take the cake,
You take the blasted cake!
And you look so French and huggy...
SHERIFF & MINERS
But a whiff of gold
Makes your heart turn cold
And your little eyes grow buggy.Just take a glance at that innocent face!
How innocent can a face be?
The French, they are a greedy race,
And you're the greediest frog we ever did see!
SHERIFF & MINERS
(Through all of this, IRENE has continued to file her nails.)What about George West?
And how about Tom Shales?
You took him for a sap, too.
And Joe McCabb's
Come down with crabs,
And they think he's got the clap, too.
You're a swindler!
You're a fake!
Which is why you take the cake!
You take the blasted cake!
You take the cake!
IRENE
SHERIFF
(IRENE reacts for the first time.)
IRENE
SHERIFF
IRENE
SHERIFF
FIRST MINER
SECOND MINER
SHERIFF
THIRD MINER
SHERIFF
IRENE
SHERIFF
IRENE
I am captain of my ship,
I am master of my soul--
I'll do my best
To gain my quest
Of absolute control.