1. When you see the Visa Card commercial that refers to the nation parks of America, and when it says at the bottom of the screen, “A Bird’s Eye View: $X,” you start to sing “To obtain a bird’s eye is to turn a blizzard to a breeze”. And when it says “A Frog’s Eye View,” you start to sing “Here we are like frogs oblivious to the water starting to boil.”
2. When you hear any INCUBUS song come on the radio, you practically have a massive coronary and almost crap yourself you scream so loud. You even cause yourself to go into shock due to your uncontrollable shacking and jumping in your seat (or in the air).
3. You stayed up every night for an entire week with the VCR remote in your hand watching all the rap videos and pop videos that you so despise, just for a chance to tape the latest INCUBUS video.
4. You finally get that new video taped, and you forgot to take the safety tab off of the video…someone tapes over it with a rerun of “Tom Green’s Subway Monkey Hour”…and you spend the next week and a half in the bathroom, without food, thinking that your fasting will somehow bring your video back.
5. Every time you go to Wal*Mart (or any other retail or record chain store), you head straight to the music, find any INCUBUS CD they have, and run to the teleprompters to scan the music so that not only you, but the whole store can hear the joyous ECHO of INCUBUS.
6. You were in a hurry getting ready for school. When pulling your favorite (that is your favorite out of the 15 you have) INCUBUS t-shirt out of your dresser drawer, you accidentally tear a whole in the side. You cry like a newborn baby who’s just been slapped on the ass and refuse to go to school until you finally go by a new one just like it.
7. Instead of speaking in normal slang terms with your friends, you say things like “that’s STELLAR”, or “Kudos”, or you even take it so far as to say “that’s INCU-tastic!”
8. You go as so far to paint “I-N-C-U-B-U-S-R-O-X” on your fingernails.
9. It makes you made when you see someone with something even remotely relating to INCUBUS that you don’t have, or will never even see for that matter.
10. You take group pictures of you and your friends, cut their faces out, and then paste in the faces of Jose, Mike, Chris, Brandon, and Alex.
11. Take a look at your bedroom walls…just what I thought. Not a blank spot on them, thanks to all of your INCUBUS posters.
12. When you have a brutal break up with your significant other, instead of the seemingly popular “go to hell”, or “fuck you”, you substitute with “NICE TO KNOW YOU, GOODBYE!”
13. You only talk to people whom like INCUBUS…those who don’t are TRULY OUTSIDERS!
14. When you’re in public, you’re often caught singing that catchy song “I WISH YOU WERE HERE” to yourself.
15. You’re at a school football game. Instead of cheering for your team, or any team for that matter, you’re heard screaming “INCUBUS, INCUBUS, GOOOO INCUBUS”. (That surely qualifies as a nutcase!!)
16. You’ve trained your pet bird to whistle the choruses to as many INCUBUS songs as it’s little birdbrain can hold!
17. You refuse to date another guy, or just to end it all, that is unless he adopts dreads, or Brandon’s o-so unique hairstyles.
18. When walking in the supermarket, you only look for foods that are INCU-approved. Meaning you only buy what INCUBUS would buy.
19. You’ve fashioned a flashing INCUBUS sign out of leftover Christmas lights.
20. When you walk into a supermarket, you some people looking at you weird. Ah, the problem is you decided to be amusing by walking with a cane acting crippled. You stand still a second. You have a fake seizure, and fall to the ground. Just as people start to come to your “rescue”, you get up and yell, “Almighty INCUBUS has healed me. I’m healed! All hail INCUBUS”. After that little display, you turn and casually walk out of the store.
21. In an attempt to be more "incu-like", you have bought a dark/navy blue jumpsuit and have taped little peices of red construction paper to it to resemble Brandon in the "Pardon Me" video.
22. When people ask you what time it is, no matter what time it really is, your watch ALWAYS reads "4:20"... I guess you're always happy too!!!
23. When people as you questions, instead of politely answering them, you put on a grey hooded jacket, black eye makeup, you put your fists to your side, and them scream. (the Warning video).
24. You stand in on-coming traffic. (Warning)
25. You're often seen carrying a spear wearing nothoing but a loin clothe to cover your package (or girl parts), and are dancing with a road sign in broad daylight. (Take Me To Your Leader Video)
26. Instead of a prayer at night, you recite the lyrics to your fave INCUBUS song.
27. You've made tin can phones, in hopes that Brandon actually will call.
28. You've made your own didjeridus out of left over paper towel rolls...how crafty...KUDOS!
29. You've been blocked from calling your local radio station because you had threatened to beat the dj up if he wouldn't start playing LESS Nelly and Ludacris (names not even worthy of mention in the same sentence as INCUBUS), and more INCUBUS...more other than just Drive of course.
30. You swear you have secret rendezvous with Brandon...been listening TOO close to Summer Romance ah?
31. You write "INCUBUS" out with your mustard and ketchup (even with whip cream in the bedroom much to your partners dismay!!)
32. You buy a red fish (named Brandon of course) to match the tatoo on Brandon and Jose's arms/Morning View CD! (from ash!)