Well after freaking out the fetal embryo Ben and I moved twoards some sorta jungle gym gizmo. When I had the great idea of taping up the enterences to the deal, so that the kiddies couldn't get in. Well when Ben heard me say that his face light up, he was like a kid in some kind of store, perhaps a candy store, and we began taping up all of the enterences.
That's when a pesky little girl started asking us question "why are you doing that?" "don't you think it's mean to do that?". Well we told her to shut up "Shut your fuckin' face , BITCH!". Then all of a sudden some rent-a-cop pearl harbored us "What are you two doing? Aren't you a little big for this equiptment?". Well right about then me and Ben felt pretty supid. We realized that the fetus got the gaurd to put an end to our shananigans. While the gaurd was talking at us, I whipped out my....mini camera and took a few shots, while he was rigt in front of me. Well we were all ready cleaning up before the gaurd came over so we mosied on. We ran around leaving tape every where, but fearing prosicution, we cleaned it up and looked for a dumpster to depsit our refuse. Well I being more familliar with the area knew that there was a dumpster on the other side of the school. Ben and I set out in hopes to "clean" up our act.
Well Ben wasn't happy to see the biggot sign either. We decided to make our own sign to discourage the big bad "Arian Nation". We went to my criznib and printed out some signs that said "This is what happens when biggots get a hold of sticker technollogy" there was also a corrosponding arrow pointing down. Ben and I rummaged through my crib to find some sort of adhesive, luckily I had a roll of duct tape! Well I grabbed my mini camera and we were off.to put an end to this outrageous display of biggotry.
Well after hours of walking around posting our sighns, we were tired and decided to go and relax at the local playground at an elementry school. This where the story changes, for the worse.
Now this may seem odd but I love to swing, man it's fun ! Ben and I were swingging away when a little fetus started swinging a few swings down. The youngster was afraid of Ben and I so we decided to leave as not to frighten the young rascal any more. Before we left the swings Ben and I took two swings and duct taped them together, thus beggining our crime spree of duct tape mayhem. Where did we go wrong, when did we go from do gooders to do badders???
It was an unusually warm February afternoon, School had just let out. It seemed like a normal day but was it? NO ! Trouble was afoot. I began my long journey home, it was a pleasent walk about 15 mins or so, I was on the final stretch just one street away from my destination, when I saw it.
It was a bright orange sticker, applied to a road sign. You may be familliar with this sort of sign they read "STOP". This bright day glow orange sticker read " Help preserve the most endangered species on Earth, the White race. For more information write Rv.(excluded) of the White Alliance Hillsboro W.V. p.o.box(excluded) 24946 or call 1-***-653-4602"
Well I didn't like that one bit! As I continued walking home I saw several more stickers on that street. I stopped and tried to peel one off, only to be defeated by the stickers own cheapness. It kept ripping, they made 'em so you couldn't peel it off! Lousy biggots and their technology!
Well the next day at school I told my best friend Ben about the horrible propaganda that was being spread around my neighborhood like a smooth jam or jelly on a piece of toast. Ben agreed to walk home with me to see the evil sign that was filled with hatred.
Well the next day started out alright. I woke up and took a monstrous dump as usual, took a shower and proceeded with all of my other morning rituals. I went to school with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I approached the back gate that I had used for all the years I've gone to Wayne and I made a chilling discovery, it was the gaurd that had kicked Ben and I off of the playground. I reported this to Benjamin and he was ammused to hear this where as I was shocked and dismayed. I talked Ben into walking home with me so we could both walk past the creepy ol gaurd. Well hours passed and we were finally outta school and were approaching the back gate. Mini camera ready, we were walking right by his car and he says"uhhhh you two got any, ummm duct tape ?". That's whne I started snapping off pictures and laughing.
And for days, weeks even it stopped at that chuckling at the gaurd as I passed the gate with one of my friends. Well I was telling my "friend" of sorts all of the story up to that point, and when I got to the gaurd he stopped me . I thought he was gonna rape my virgin rectal cavity. All he did was look at my I.D. and get my name to scare me I guess. Well I had a swell laugh about that and reported it to everyone the next day. After that evey morning was awckward, he'd stare me down as I cross the gate.
Well around this time I had finally developed the pictures, man were they spectacular ! The story had always been popular but with the addition of visual aides increased the popularity of the story.
Ben and I ventured around to the back to throw away our mess of tape. When that dang ole gaurd popped out from the other side of the building. "You don't think I'm on to your plan, I cought you in the act you punk kids!". Well to that I said "we're just throwing away our trash"having already done so"We were just cleaning up our mess". Obviously he didn't beleive us, and we proceeded to vacate the premesis. As Ben and I began to venture on to my crib, the gaurd began to tail us. It was really awckward, we were walking 2.5 mph and the speed limit on that street was 25 mph so it was kinda obvious, when we waved he sped on up the road.
Well we decided to walk to my crib the long way just incase he came back I didn't want him knowing where I lived. While we were walking back we saw an ambulance and the EMT's carrying out a corpse or sick person, it's all the same to me. I thought "damn that would make a great picture" thinking I was outta film. But when we did get back to my crib I discovered there was one more pic left , I was feeling pretty salty. Then Ben went on home and I went to sleep thinking wow that was a fun day.
Well that's pretty much the end of the "Duct Tape Story". Now I will write all of the happenings and what not that happened after or because of the incident. Well my friend Jeff at this time had to start walking home so we walked together. On these daily journey's we walked with other people like Worm and his friend with a pny tail, or Sloppy fag as I called him(behind his back). Now this Worm fellow was pretty funny and "crazy". One time we were all walking home and there was a lot of road construction, wich comes into play sometime in the next sentence. Worm had swiped a road cone off of the warm pavement and ran up on me and proceeded to jab me in the side. To wich I'm all "Hey Worm don't impregnate me with that road cone, I don't need another mouth to feedthe other 4 kids are hungry and dirty and I can't afford to keep another fetus alive.....geeez". And as I'm yelling that the scurity gaurd rolls by slow in his car lookin at us givin all of us the eViL eye. I felt kinda dumb at that point. That was within the last few weeks of school. And that's all.....at least until next school year and When ever I buy more duct tape.
