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What's the Story, Mornin' Glory?
Atom Age Vampire
(1960)
Jeanette Moreneau (Susanne Loret) gets into a tragic, disfiguring accident after her boyfriend Pierre Mornet (Sergio Fantoni) gives her an ultimatum, him or her stripping job. When she doesn’t answer him right away, he leaves and she takes off after him. Her vehicle careens off a cliff and explodes. She lives, but half her face has been disfigured. When she finally sees her face she pulls out a gun out her handbag to kill herself. Right before she pulls the trigger a mysterious woman in a trench coat and beret convinces her to stop because her and a professor have perfected a treatment that could cure her face. Jeanette doesn’t believe that the treatment will work and refuses, but when she faints they treat her anyway.
Five treatments later it still hasn’t worked and the professor wonders if they should just kill her. Suddenly, it works. Unfortunately for the mysterious woman, Monique (Franca Parisi), the professor has fallen head over heels in love with Jeanette and will anything for her. The treatment isn’t permanent and the professor plots to murder young women to harvest their skin glands for Jeanette’s upkeep and it seems Monique has made the top of the list.
You Learn Something New Everyday...
 Again, this movie proves that cars will burst into flames randomly no matter how high the cliff.
The only way to feel better after disfigurement is to break glass.
You shouldn't disappoint people you've just met.
Assistants are always in love with their doctors/professors.
Zing!
"Is it me, or are you getting fat?" -Pierre Mornet to a stripper.
Survey SAYS...
Buh, man! I want my 1 hour, 26 minutes, and 3 seconds back! Yes, I watched the timer on the DVD player the last half hour chanting in my mind, “end, end, end!” Actually, I split the time between that and staring out the window in a dazed state. I always try to look for the best in bad movies, but my biggest peeve is absolutely boring movies. Cheesy is good, sometimes great, but if it’s boring…get outta here! I think I was counting my toes when the climax of the film, the big fight between boyfriend and the professor in werewolf form, started. Trust me, it wasn’t that exciting anyway.
This movie is so old school, the mouth movements and the dialogue didn’t match up. True, it’s been dubbed over, but still, that’s ghetto. The title of the movie was pretty unrelated to the actual flick too. Let’s dissect this shall we? Atom Age. Well, the movie was made in the 60s, but it seemed to have taken place in England in the 40s. Was the “Atom Age” the 60s? I dunno. There was nothing futuristic about it. Vampire. Well, that would work if vampires were the same as werewolf-like creatures. The only thing that makes this title remotely work is the fact that the Professor said in the movie “It’s seems like we’re all Atom Age Vampires,” in the response to the psychology of burn victims. Doesn’t that make everything work out alright?
Another reason this title doesn’t work? When you hear Atom Age Vampire it’s pretty safe to assume you’ll be watching a movie about futuristic vampires, no? AAV was more about a professor who can only kill women to harvest their skin glands when he’s in werewolf form. However, I was amused by the line “You know I’d kill a thousand times before admitting defeat.” Aha. It’s terrible.
I guess in the “60s” they don’t check people’s purses and whatnot for identification. If they did, who’s the idiot who looked into Jeanette’s purse, saw the gun and was like, “Nope, no ID here,” and left the purse next to her bed? People who are beautiful don’t take disfigurement lightly. They’ve never been ugly and most want to end their lives. Haha, okay that may be a generalization, but in Atom Age Vampire land, it’s true!
If you like...extremely cheesy dialogue, unsolved murders, beautiful people being disfigured and then made beautiful again, drunken mute assistants, Professors that look like Will Ferrell, lag time between voices and mouth movement, extremely slow storylines, and cars bursting into flames then this is the flick for you. As for us...we give Atom Age Vampire
That Wasn't so Bad Was It?
I was left Feeling: Extremely Bored
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