6.30.02

MY GOSH! Can you believe that Taylor wouldn't open up my own personal mcdonalds??? What is wrong with him? he's suppose to be my slav... i mean... husband, is there something wrong with this?
Is it MY fault that I weigh 982374892 pounds and I can not go anywhere without the forklift? I swear, It wasn't me who broke it, it was Taylor, he's always complaining.
I think he gets my internal gas mixed up with his, with a house full of slave babies who knows where the odoriferous emanations are springing from? GEEZE!
I swear, I can never get peace and quiet when I need to rest my feet, and it seems as though no matter how many times I tell him back massaging is on Wednesdays at approximately 15:00 am he just can't seem to be there on time, he told me he won't fit in the room, but I think it's just an excuse so that he doesn't have to waste his precious energy, I tell you, being married isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Natalie

7.3.02

Taylor decided the other day to blame me for misplacing the bone in his leg, he told me that it was my fault and that I sat on it, I think he was just trying to make me feel bad so that he wouldn't have to cook dinner today, maybe if I'm in a good mood he can have KFC, but only if I get all the mashed potatoes and chicken, he can have the cole slaw, it's too low in fat anyway, I need all the calories I can get, Taylor told me I was too skinny for him the other day.
::taylor mumbles from his cage:: whyareyoumakingthisshitupyoufatass!??! I think he learned his lesson, anyway... moving on, after Taylor INSISTED we stop along the way to the hospital we finally made it there, but I think I might be starting to grow a liking for the cafeteria food in the hospital, they have the most amazing beef stew, I think taylor should steal the ingredients once he gets his ass in gear and puts his bone back where it belong, he's such a baby when it comes to minor injuries. Maybe if I just threaten him he'll cook beef stew more often... Or maybe he can just open a chinese restaurant for me. Today someone asked me if I'm related to one of the early vikings, I should check into that.
But I have to go now, Taylor can carry me home if he isn't complaining about his leg too much, what a wuss.

Natalie