Now gather round children I got a tale to tell
About a band of young rebels who loved to raise hell
There was Stu who had none in the way of grey matter,
Jode had the looks but Matt's abs were flatter
Our young men were brave and friends to the end
But they each had 40 bucks that they need to spend
Well Matt said "What about Edgefest?"
as a smile came to his face.
Jodes smile grew too as well as dids Stu because they knew this was the place.
And as time grew near for their getaway
Stu the man was put in charge.
He said "I'll wake up at six and get them there tix, and soon we'll be living large."
Oh, have you ever had that feelin' that somethin ain't right
That you've made a grave mistake?
Well somethin went wrong, perhaps last night
Cause the next mornin Stu didn't wake.
Well I guess Stu fucked up again..
Yes Stu fucked up again...
As luck would have it, it was Stu's 17th right on that very day.
So they all got in their cars and want to the bar
I guess to drink their troubles away.
Of course when Jode heard the news he blew a fuse
and Matt excused himself form the dinn.
As Stu looked at the ground the boys screamed out loud
"Well I guess Stu fucked up again."
Stu wasn't known to be eloquent, he never said much at all.
But his heart was the size of an elephants,
I guess thats why his brain was so small.
He knew then and there he'd done a wrong, and he'd right it for all that he's worth.
Because we only get one shining moment as long as we live on this earth.
Now Stu tried with all his soul, to get those boys to the show.
And I guess our good lord looked down on him, It's a miracle and that's all I know.
When the boys heard the news their frowns they did lose,
They sang his praises and forgave his sins.
As they sang "It looks like Stu saved us again."
"Well Stu's back in our good books again..."
So if you have a friend who knows not what he does.
Just think of Stu
That's what you must do
And sing the chorus just because
Well I guess Stu will fuck up again.
And I hope we'll see you again.
And we'll keep on missin you till then.
We'll meet when Stu fucks up again...
Whenever you in trouble,
Pick up the phone on the double,
You've got a friend,
Who knows when to bend,
He'll give you that special talk,
We guarntee he won't be a jock,
He doesn't have hair,
But your his number one care.
Shriners, they help you when your down.
Shriners, there always in town.
Shriners, they are your best friends
Shriners, Diplomacy to the end.
Don't hesitate to make that call,
They don't work out of the mall.
Everyone know's the hat,
Like some sort of tail off a dead pussy cat.
You've seen them with elephants at the circus,
But when you call they won't make a fuss.
Never stop believing,
You future they're achieving.
Shriners, they get you back on your feet.
Shriners, You'll never be told "take a seat".
Shriners, when your mom and dad are dead
Shriners, Have you heard what I said?