"HOW TO KNOW WHEN A MARRIAGE IS DOOM FROM THE START"
“The train is about to leave”
Copyright C 1998 by J.A.Mcbean.
Library of Congress
Washington.D.C.20559
N o matter how deep people are in love and if love is all they had in common that relationship will crumble sooner are later. Just for example, your boss might love you but you still have to come to work and pull your share of the work load. How long can you keep messing up and hide behind love then expect to keep the job? The company is as strong as its weakest employee. A group of spies is as strong as it weakest member, it is the weak member that will blow the cover, and cause the others to get caught. It is the same things with a family. Love alone cannot carry it through today hustle and bustle, dog eat dog, and cut throat word. It reaches a place now faling in love do not mean a thing. People want to see love in actions. A relationship must base on principles, not just feelings.
FALLING IN LOVE IS NOT A GUARANTEE FOR FELLOWSHIP.
Even before we move on I would like to say that falling in love is not a guarantee for fellowship. Fellowship is what carry the marriage through hard times. My mother and I love each other, it even angered my other brothers and sisters, that our mother love me more but my mother and I had no fellowship. We do not see eye to eye. I did not say we were at malice with each other, but my father and I had fellowship, my grand mother and I had fellowship, we read the Bible together and pray, even before I was a Christians. The same thing can be said of marriage. Falling in love with somebody is not a guarantee you and that person will ever get along. However, having fellowship with somebody will cause them both to love each other more and more as the years goes by. Fellowship can be taught, fellowship come out of maturity.
WHEN THE COUPLE HAS NOTHING IN COMMON
Divorce is on the rise in the United States. People falling in love base on body shape, looks and all the wrong reasons. Body shape changes after the first baby is born, after sickness or some tragedy. What does a couple do together the most? Talking comes first, sleeping together comes second, eating together comes third and sex come last of all sex. Sex is what every body thinks about and a couple might only do that one to two times per week. In today rising cost of living couple working two jobs to make ends meet might only do the “S” thing one time per month. Talking is what couple will be doing the most. If every time you and your mate start talking the conversation end in vexation in two minutes, and end in disagreement. The marriage bound to hit the rock of time, it is only time before that marriage is brought down like how a wolf would bring down a wounded sheep.
(1) WHEN THE COUPLE TAKE NO PRE-MARITAL TRAINING.
Every new employees had to get a week orientation on the job before employment. People get married and get no premarital council. They do not background check on each other, no medical check up. One lady I knew was told by God not to fall in love and not to get married. On coming to the USA she fall in love and get married. The same night her husband gave her HIV.
(2) WHEN THERE IS ILL-FEELINGS.
People will never had a good conversation when there is ill feelings in one or two of them. And if people cannot talk they will never come to any agreement, and if they cannot come to an agreement, separations is a must, because two cannot walk if they do not agree.
Some things do not need a prophet to tell us that it on the path of destructions. Even a blind monkey can sense that there is problem up ahead. For example, a man of science cannot see eye to eye with a man of faith. Faith is more like a gut feelings, an hunch a feeling or guess based on intuition. If two people live together and they fight every other night, do not be surprise if one day they kill each other, you can see it coming.
Amos 3:3 (KJV) Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Ill feelings are planted in a couple by the mother of both people, or by the woman’s women family, and women friends. As a young man growing up, sometime we meet a girl we spent the whole day making love to her. She went and told her ladies friends. The next day she malice and never spoken to the man again, base on something her women friends said.
Sirach 7:26 "If you have a wife, let her not seem odious to you; but where there is ill-feelings, trust her not" The New American Bible. Saint Joseph Edition. Catholic Book publishing company New York.
(3) WHEN A MATE HAS THE HABIT OF HANGING WITH THE WRONG CROWD.
People need to know that they cannot hang out with losers, and came out good. You have to hang out with people who can inspirited you and spur you on to change. A person who is an alcoholic will never change until he or she change the group of people that they hang out with.
Every thing a woman does with a man is base upon her feeling toward him. Her feelings can sway either way depending on what she heard about him, even more than what she actually saw in him. This is where her support group can prove deadly to her relationship with her man.
If the woman support group do not want you with her you better leave, because it is a woman’s support group that make up her mind for her. If it is a black woman you are messing with it is best to get to meet her women friends and retaliative as soon as possible, that is if you are serious with the relationship. Them ladies sized you up so quickly, not even the devil and all his demons could let you in. You are dead from the start. It is not you the man that owns the woman, it is her support group and the people whom she confide in.
You will have nothing to get, these turn the woman spirit from you and poison her mind, I have seen cases where not even the baby biological father did not get the child, even though he wanted his child. For example “Your boy friend was in prison when that Jamaican man pregnant you, so how comes your boy friend that was in prison get the Jamaican man’s baby” “My sisters and friends say he should not be the father”
If a man is planning to get married and one or two of the woman family member of close friends do not like you the man, the man should just kick the whole thing to the curve. Because that one that do not like him will never stop digging under until he, she kill the marriage. From a family member do not like you that is a red flag right there.
Sirach 42:13 "For just as moths comes from garments, so harm to women comes from women" The New American Bible. Saint Joseph Edition. Catholic Book publishing company New York.
Look at all successful people and you will see what they have in common. They hang out with successful people. Any time married woman hangs out with divorce and let down women, she always end up in the same predicament. Just look at all the people who live in rent house, as long as they keep hanging out with other rent house people they will never had their own homes. But any time they change their group and begin to hangs out with other people who own a home, they start making plans to own their own home. People say and do things that channel your life toward success are failures daily without you even know what has happen.
Sirach 37:7 "Every counselor points out a way, but some counsel ways of their own;be on the alert when one proffers advice, find out first of all what he wants. For he may be thinking of himself alone; why should the profit fall to him?" The New American Bible. Saint Joseph Edition. Catholic Book publishing company New York.
(4) CHRONIC DEPRESSED MATE.
When the person you are involved with had previous dramatic broken heart and did not get any counseling and exercise forgiveness. It does not take much to open up an old wound. You already know that this relationship is not going to reach far, if the person do not get help. When two people with wounds sleeping to together they bound to hurt up each other wound, two wrestlers cannot have make love after the game.
People who were molested by their father, brother, or mother’s boy friend will never told this thing to their intended mate, yet that is the very thing that the mate needs to know because that kind of things usually cause flash back. This relationship is dead from the starts because this person was badly bruise emotionally and physically in child hood.
A BRUISE IS A HIDDEN INJURE.
A bruise is a hidden injure that only the victim knows about, and can be easily hurt up by accident.
Jeremiah 30:12 (KJV) For thus saith the Lord, Thy bruise is incurable, and thy wound is grievous. Isaiah 53:5 (KJV)
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
A CHARISMATIC MATE WHO HAS GIFTS BUT HAS NOT SUBMIT TO THE WRITTEN WORD.
Romans 10:3 (KJV) For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.
When a person have a mate that has spiritual gifts but is not walking in the principles of the scriptures. They have never submitted themselves to the righteousness of God, the relationship bound to fall apart sooner or later. This kind of people has wind in their sail, but has no anchor for their faith the word of God is what prevent us from drift from the faith. And these kind of people do not go by the word but are caught up head, over heal, over the gifts while ignoring the fruit of the spirit failing to realize that the gift don’t work without the fruit running in the background.
WHAT TO DO WHEN THE WOMAN’S MIND AND SPIRIT IS NOT WITH YOU
Her action will tell you, she will be cocky, and don’t care. Every one will know her plans except you. Sometime her attitude will be displayed in the children, Like a dog who sense his master moods and attacked a disdain visitor. If her name is on your accounts but your name is not an any of her accounts that is another red flags. At this time you must turn your attention to the children if children are born to the union. You need to stay for the children, because as soon as you the man leave another man will comes in to abuse the children. However, if she is provoking a fight leave, because you cannot help children from prison. Most of all, when you are in a dead relationship, but certain circumstances preventing you from leaving right away, try to prevent an argument, let things run it course without making it any worst.
A DEAD RELATIONSHIP.
Planning to start any new relationship, you must beware of let down female, female who had bad relationship with their father. Female who had broken marriage. A pretty woman whom her husband leave her with children. Most men will stay in a bad marriage because of the children, but when you saw a man run and leave a cute wife with children, that is another red flag right there. Women who remain on the shelves too long, is better off leave on the shelves. If you cannot carry the bills, never move in with a woman. A woman will never respect a man who is a not a good provider.
BAD CHOICE.
If a woman do not have an education and is not willing to get one, she is not a marriage material. Women that has no educations is not good thinkers, and when she get lucky and get a man that means her well, other women poison her mind easily. Above all, beware of women with sharp tongue, these are death traps.
1 Peter 3:1-6 (Living Bible) Wives, fit in with your husbands' plans; for then if they refuse to listen when you talk to them about the Lord, they will be won by your respectful, pure behavior. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. [2] [3] Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on jewelry, or beautiful clothes, or hair arrangement. [4] Be beautiful inside, in your hearts, with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit that is so precious to God. [5] That kind of deep beauty was seen in the saintly women of old, who trusted God and fitted in with their husbands' plans. [6] Sarah, for instance, obeyed her husband Abraham, honoring him as head of the house. And if you do the same, you will be following in her steps like good daughters and doing what is right; then you will not need to fear [offending your husbands].
(5) FAILING TO KNOW MARRIED PEOPLE PIT FALL.
There are certain amount of men that want a woman right after she get married, because all he want is a free ride, without responsibilities. The woman cannot blame him for any thing are charge him for giving her diseases. He has no child support to make, he can bang her hard as blow up doll because she is not his, she is another man’s wife. Also she has too much at loose so she cannot blame any thing on him.
These men will tell the woman how pretty she is, and keep giving her flowers, trying to out do the woman husband. Any time the husband leave the wife, the wife boy friend also leave, because he do not want the responsibility. As soon as the husband return he also return. Women need to know that, if the women is looking a sweet heart, she is the one to go find the man, and not the man come pushing himself up.
MARRIED OUT OF YOUR RANK AND CALLING.
Married out of your rank and calling is another death trap. Many Christians do not seem to know that right alongside them Satan has his own people masquerade as Saints of Christ. Once you get married to one of Satan false believers that he has masquerade in the Church as believers, your life is doomed to failure. Those false Christians are in the church directly to get married to would be men and women of God, then tied up their lives, and prevented them from bringing any body to Christ. Because these no good spouses are the ones that actually spread rumors. Any rumors a disgruntle mate spread it does not goes away over night. We think that because people came to church and speak in tongues they are saved.
Galatians 2:4 (KJV) And that because of false brethren unawares brought in, who came in privily to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage:
The best way to tear up an organization is from the inside. The best way to bring down any body are any thing is from within. One enemy on the inside worth more than ten thousand on the outside. The enemy who disguise himself as a friend is more successful in taking out the opponent than all the enemy who he know to be his enemy.
2 Cor. 11:13 (KJV) For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.
Matthew 13:29-30 (KJV) But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them. [30] Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.
SOMETIME ONLY CHRIST JESUS CAN HELP US:
Matthew 6:33-AV But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Isaiah 55:6-AV Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Isaiah 55:7-AV Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
LOOK AT THE BENEFITS OF BECOMING A CHRISTIAN:
How does a person become a Christian, and are sure that he/she is save? First the person must know that he/she is a sinner and need deliverance from the lord.
Romans 3:23 (KJV) for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Galatians 3:22 (KJV) But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A GOD:
Hebrews 11:6 NKJV But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT GOD IS READY TO FORGIVE HIM:
Isaiah 55:7 (KJV)Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT CHRIST DIED FOR HIM:
Romans 5:6 (KJV) For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
Romans 5:8 (KJV)But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
1 Cor. 15:3-8 (KJV) For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; [4] And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: [5] And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve: [6] After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep. [7] After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles. [8] And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.
MUST BELIEVE THAT GOD CAN KEEP HIM:
Ephes. 3:20 (KJV) Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Jude 1:24 (KJV) Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
PERFECTING THE SAINTS IS A WORK OF GOD:
1 Peter 5:10 (KJV) But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you.
THE SINNER MUST KNOW THAT ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE THEM:
Acts 4:12 (KJV) Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
THE SINNER MUST MAKE A DECISION TODAY:
Isaiah 1:18 (KJV) Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
2 Cor. 6:2 (KJV) (For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)
BOW YOUR HEAD AND PRAY THIS PRAYER:
Lord I am a sinner and need your salvation. Forgive all my sins. I accept your son Jesus as my savior today.
We can sing with the song writer" I rise walk in heaven’s own light above the world and sin with heart made pure and garments white, and Christ en-throned with in. The cleansing stream I see I see I plunge, and O It cleans-eth me. O praise the Lord, it cleans-eth me, it cleans-eth me yes, cleans-eth me."
DROP ALL PRE-CONCEIVE IDEAS OF CHRISTIANITY:
Drop all preconceived ideas of Christianity because these conflict with the reality of Christianity. The lord will live the life through you day by day. You do not drop things from your life on your own. The spirit of God will walk you out of sins in his own time.
FIRST HUMBLING YOU:
Ephes. 2:8-9 (KJV)For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast.
If you stop sins and get holy before God’s timing you will begin to boast how it is your own magnetism got you so far, then you became a source of discouragement to others. Therefore, you are going to stuck upon a sin or two. The sin always getting the better of you. This will push you to always accept God’s grace, and to see your own frailness.
1 John 1:8 (KJV) If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
TO CONTINUE GROWING IN GOD:
1 Peter 2:2 (KJV) As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
2 Peter 1:5-10 (NKJV) But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble.
FINDING OUT YOUR CALLING:
When I was newly save, the believers always, ask me if I know the will of God for my life! I never really know what they were talking about. Every person that was saved had a mission and a gift. However, because you are just a babe in Christ you do not know any of these. As you go on with the lord his will for you will unfolds day bay day. Do not run off and make any big commitment. Your mate has to be tailor made for you by God. You are now a citizen of heaven. Heaven does not rule by democracy. You cannot serve God with democratic mind set.
WHAT YOU MUST DROP OFF:
Hebrews 12:1 (Living Bible) Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.
Ephes. 4:31 (Living Bible) Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives.
Col. 3:8 (Living Bible) but now is the time to cast off and throw away all these rotten garments of anger, hatred, cursing, and dirty language.
GET A GOOD BIBLE, AND FIND A GOOD CHURCH:
One of the best Bibles out there is the New King James Version. Dake’s annotated Bible is very good. Next, you need a living bible to make some thing simple.
Hebrews 10:25 (Living Bible) Let us not neglect our church meetings, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near.
PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM BEING SPOILED BY MAN:
Col. 2:8 (KJV)Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Hebrews 13:9 (KJV) Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein.
Seven Ways that People Can Spoil Christians:
1. Through philosophy (Col. 2:8)
2. Through vain deceit (Col. 2:4,8,18-19)
3. Through human traditions (Col. 2:8)
4. Through human religion and world principles contrary to the gospel (Col. 2:8,14-23; note, §Galatians 4:3)
5. Through circumcision (Col. 2:11-13; Acts 15:1; Romans 4:9-16; Galatians 5:1-11)
6. Through the law of Moses, demanding observance of the laws on meats, drinks, holy days, new moons, feasts, and sabbaths (Col. 2:14-17)
7. Through cults that puff up and imitate the gospel (Col. 2:18-23)
By all these means, unsuspecting souls are being carried off as plunder and booty by false teachers. The founders of false religions and human philosophies which pamper the flesh and give their victims elated feelings of importance make an appeal to them.
Christianity is loaded down with some false concept. Some little believe system, which are spread by false believers. One of such teaching is that you must “Look like Christians” How does Christians look? Genuine Christianity is not an external thing but of the heart and spirit.
Micah 6:8 (KJV)He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?
When cults capture a newly converted Christians, the cult first job on that new believer is to close their mind. Preventing the new believer from reading any material from other churches. So that new believer will never get out of their trap.
YOUR HORMONE DOES NOT STOP WORKING WITH CHRISTIANITY:
Philip. 3:20-21 (KJV)For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: [21] Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself.
Romans 8:23 (KJV) And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
Our bodies were not save at conversion. The work of redemption took place in your spirit man. Our body will be redeemed at the return of our lord. We are still waiting for the redemption of our body.
According to Philip 3:20-21 and Romans 8:23. You are still going to have urges. You have to present your body to the lord as a living sacrifice. Not dead one. Living sacrifice give trouble, you will have trouble keeping that body tied to the altar. However, as you and I grow in the lord what seem impossible will be quite possible.
Come back for update soon.
Bearer Of The Mind Sword.
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