Title: HSU fic - Hockey Ho’s 1-3 (complete)

Author: Ellie Lelaney

Rating: HHH(Hot Hockey Hunks)Archive: Ack! Is it worth it? Sure, why not…

Timeline: After Kendra’s "Dizzy up the Girl"

Summary: HSU has some guests over for a charity hockey game in the General’s honor, i.e. the General finds the tattooed hineys and the girls try to make it up to him.

Disclaimer: Georgey already knows who owns ‘em—him! I don’t get a red cent. I don’t own the hockey players (gods, I wish I did), they actually exist.

Extra Warning: This started out as a sweet little bunny for all the hockey fans, but it got really corny, really quick. So I put it to rest real short and sweet. Besides Kendra has something to go do after the game, and I need one of those EA applications...

"Now girls, I understand you were only try to show your spirit, but really, tattoos! On your behinds?" The General paced his office, lecturing the girls who were seated in much discomfort.

"Well, you see it was Kendra’s idea, and…" Ellie whined as she shifted uncomfortably in the chair.

"Wait a second, I didn’t make you bare your ass to old Grizzly Adams, you did that yourself." Kendra was just as sore and not going to put up with any of Ellie’s shit.

"Girls!" The General interjected. "I must say that I’m not happy with you but I’m not going to punish you. I think the permanence of what you’ve done is enough. Not to mention watching you squirm in those chairs." He grinned at us and put his hands out. "Come on, you can make it up somehow." We both took a hand and stood, grimacing.

Kendra spoke up first.

"Actually, I think we do know something we could do." She glanced over at Ellie with a sly grin. It took a moment but Ellie caught on.

"Yes," Ellie said smoothly, "we do know of something. You see Kendra and I know some guys, some hockey guys, and I’m sure they would be more than willing to come out a put on a game for us. In your honor of course," she quickly added.

The General stared precariously at the two girls. They stood each holding a hand, grinning from ear to ear.

"Sounds like there is something your not saying but I will take you at your word. Please, invite your friends and let the rest of the staff and students know we are to have a celebration. That might just make me forget of this little incident." He kissed both their hands gently, causing sighs of ecstasy to escape two sets of lips. "Now off with you!" He scooted the girls out of his office being careful of the sore bums.

Immediately out the door the girls ran into Die and the Alpha Ho herself, Emmy.

"Well, did you get it?" Emmy said smugly adjusting her tiara as she spoke.

"Depends on what it you’re referring to. If you mean a lecture, then yes." She grinned as Kendra spoke, basking in the idea that she could have just gone up in the General’s favor at another’s expense.

"Ignore her, she’s just pissed cause she found out that her tiara is just a bunch of cubic zirconia." Die piped in.

"Why you wench!"

"Hey, don’t call me a wench, I wouldn’t let that Crispy Old Dead Guy touch me with a ten foot pole."

The two continued down the hallway passing jabs and insults back and forth at one another. It was amazing that they just didn’t scratch each other eyes out on the spot.

Kendra and Ellie laughed, then turned somber.

"Well, I guess we better get started planning." Kendra sighed. "This is going to take some doing."

"Well, I guess I should start with Darryl Sydor. He can probably convince the rest of the guys. He’ll help me since we use to be, well, um...friends you know, we used to…"

"Screw." Kendra said flatly. At that Ellie whopped her upside the head.

"Don’t say it like that. It was beautiful." Kendra rolled her eyes as Ellie went into yet another rendition of her wonderful relationship with Darryl. She was so tired of hearing that name. She’d better get her lusts in line for the General if he wanted to be a Ho.

Kendra scowled again as they descended the stairs, Ellie still blabbering on. They definitely had a lot of work to do.

~TBC~

Part Two

"You will? You’re so sweet, yes, I’ve missed you, too. Sure, we can do dinner. Alright, I’ll see you in a few days. Bye." Ellie switched off the holocom and looked over at her friend, Kendra, who was giver her a Look.

"What? What’d I do?" Ellie exclaimed in horror.

"Geez, Ellie, that was pathetic. Your voice all sugar coated, ‘Oh, I miss you, ooh, I love you.’ Give me a brake." Kendra mocked her in a Diva-esque voice. "If only Emmy could see you, she’d be so proud. Her little Diva-wan."

"Hey, don’t insult me. You know I love the Ho, but I am far from being like that. For heaven’s sake, I love hockey. She’d find it barbarian, or too much a risk to break a nail, or her precious tiara." Both girls giggle at the thought of Emmy on the ice with a hockey mask and stick. "Now, Die, she’d be great. If only we could attach some skates to those boots. She’s be unstoppable." This brought on another fit of laughter.

Their sore bums were becoming less sore, but their egos were taking a beating. Word of their tattoos had spread faster than the smell of fresh Bantha poodoo. Everywhere they went were snickers and someone even put up posters of butts with a little picture of the General’s face on one cheek. Needless to say the General’s patience was wearing thin.

***A Few Days Later***

"Now don’t forget fellow Ho’s, the charity hockey game takes place tonight at 7. Better arrive early to the coliseum to ensure a good seat. And those of you waiting for the gladiator tournament the ice will be melted and the arena refloored by tomorrow. And remember it’s all for the General." Kendra’s voice boomed over the PA system and every holovid in the University reminding every Ho, Wench and boy toy, that the game was indeed on!

***In the courtyard***

"Oh, Darryl I’m so glad you could make it. I know you’ve got another game coming up, it was so sweet of you to use your day off to come and help little ‘ol me." Ellie sweetly spoke as one by one hockey players descended their transport. "I see you convinced the whole team to come, that’s wonderful. Oh, and I just love what you’ve done with your hair. Stark white, how punk of you." She eyed the other players hungrily, then tried to remember she was a good General’s Ho and attempted to push the thoughts of being sammiched between a few of them and the glass from her mind. No! Those thoughts had to go!

"Ahem!" Kendra cleared her throat from behind Ellie.

"Oh, yes, you remember my friend, Kendra?" Ellie motioned in her general direction as she guided the group of scrumptious men up the steps. Kendra huffed and hurried to catch up. If Ellie was going to continue to be such a snob she’d teach her a lesson. She’d tell the General that she was being an unfaithful Ho. She could go be the Wench’s little Wenchiwan if she didn’t straighten up. She smiled to herself at the thought. She had to admit though, that #9 sure was cute.

*****

"Yes, sir, the boys are ready sir. Ellie and I showed them to the locker room and they’re getting dressed as we speak." Vague pictures of naked hockey butts flashed through Kendra’s mind before she had the chance to shield it. The General turned to stare at her and grinned from ear to ear.

"It seems, butts have been a theme with you lately." Kendra blushed crimson at his remark but kept her pace with him. "Perhaps, you should meet me in my quarters after the game and we can see what I can do to vanquish those silly thoughts from your head." A vision of the two of them in nothing but birthday suits flashed through Kendra’s mind facilitating an enormous grin.

"As you say, sir." The Ho straightened up proudly as they walked to the Coliseum, she knew what she was getting tonight!

***Inside the Coliseum***

"Ho’s and other insignificant beings, please rise for the General’s anthem."

Everyone in the arena stood as Normal Al positioned himself at center ice on a mat and played a little ditty on his accordion. All the Ho’s glanced around at one another trying to figure since when there was a General’s anthem. They all turned to Kenobi to find him with his eyes closed, humming along and tapping his foot in rhythm. They stared, aghast.

Al exited to minimal clapping at his performance and the lights dimmed.

"Excuse me!" Came a shrill voice a few rows back from the ice. Emmy pushed and shoved her way, her tiara bouncing dangerously atop her perfect hair. "I have a seat reserved next to the General."

"The hell you do! That is my seat," came a haughty reply from Diebin, her heals clicking on the stone steps. They both reached the first row simultaneously and settle into seats directly behind the General.

"Now the game can begin!" Emmy announced, pleased at her seat with it’s easy access to the General.

Loud music began to play and then they took the ice. The complete Dallas Stars hockey team took the ice, followed by a smattering of other hunky hockey players. They skated around the ice to the oohs and ahs of Ho’s and other guests and even a Wench.

"Go, Darryl!" Ellie yelled happily, and a few sideways glances went her way. It was obvious the disapproval. ‘If they can have a Gladiator and the General; I can have a hockey hunk and the General,’ Ellie rationalized in her head.

"Can I have your attention, please." The announcer boomed through the speakers. "Please welcome your very own General to the ice for the ceremonial dropping of the puck." Loud, boisterous cheers came from the crowd as the General rose, radiating testosterone in his full, black leather.

Kendra leaned over to Robin and Kymira to her left and whispered, "This is going to be so good!"

The girls all nodded in agreement and turned their attention to the ice, eagerly awaiting their precious General’s move.

‘Oh, if only he would play.’ Kendra thought hungrily.

~TBC~

All the girls stared as their General sauntered back to his seat. Attention was quickly turned to the action on the ice as play began.

"Look at him move," Ellie swooned. Kendra rolled her eyes and took another peak at the General. How she couldn’t wait for later!

The crowd ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ as the sweaty men battled it out on the ice below. Then cringed as Derian Hatcher slammed Peter Forsberg into the glass with a bone crunching sound.

"Kick his ass, Hatcher!" Ellie yelled as Mike Ricci answered with a hit at center ice. From over in the corner Mel could be heard screaming her approval.

***

Three hours and numerous penalties later, the game was over with minimal amount of bloodshed. The Dallas Stars took the game, and due to the chanting crowd had oddly began to call their opponent of miscellaneous hockey players the Wanker Lovers.

Ellie watched as the crowd drifted out. Judy was handing out free margaritas at the gate and Emmy and Diebin chatted happily. The rest of the girls sipped their drinks happily and talked of heading to the Pink Banana. Kendra tucked her Backstreet Boys CD into her satchel, ‘How had that gotten out?,’ she thought, as the General approached her. He whispered something in her ear and she grinned from ear to ear. She took his arm and he escorted her out of the arena.

Within minutes Ellie had made her way to the locker room. She passed Dande fawning over Owen Nolan and some other Sharks players. She thought she faintly heard something about bulging biceps, and empty tower and grapes. She shook it off as she thought to herself, ‘I don’t want to know."

***

"Ellie!" Darryl Sydor exclaimed as he emerged from the locker room freshly showered and looking as scrumptious as ever. "I’m so glad you waited. Did your General enjoy the game?"

"Of course, it was great. I think some of those Ho’s were having naughty thoughts and it wasn’t about their General," Ellie teased.

"Are we still on for dinner then?" Darryl asked expectantly.

"Well, there is this one little pesky thing I need to attend to first. Some forms I need to fill out. But then I’m all yours." Ellie grinned slyly and took his arm. Oh, yes, she would definitely be his, right after she found Darry."

~finis~