Fairy Tale Written by: S. Wilhelmina Feenster Author's Note: Flaming is encouraged. This is a story about Salems very own Tinker Bell, Philip Kiriakis. Have you ever looked at Philip and thought that he should sprout wings and grant wishes...Well, I have. You are about to read a story by the mastermind of the great Feen! Once upon a time, in kingdom far, far, away, there lived a little boy named Philip and deep down inside, he wanted to be a man. He got plenty of inspiration from his hero, Pinocchio, and both happened to share the same letter in the alphabet. He was a quiet little tike who loved flowers and often dreamed of pixie dust in his hair. His mother, Kate Roberts, spoiled him terribly and gave him plenty of pixie sticks to pour down his throat. In the year 2000, Philip got his wish and became a man...or did he? Philip woke up one morning and looked in the mirror. Philip: Wow, I'm a real man. (feeling his face) I guess I better start shaving now. (noticing his room still has fairies dancing with teddy bears on his wall) Hey, I'm not a kid no more. I need pictures I can enjoy. He placed a picture of Justin Timerlake on the wall. Philip: Now that's better. Lucas entered his bedroom. Lucas: Hey, little bro. Philip: Who are you calling 'little?' I'm 17 years old. I'm a real man. Lucas: You just keep telling yourself that. Uh, mom wants to know if you would like mashed nanas in your cereal? Philip: Mashed what? I'm grown up now! I have facial hair. Lucas: Sure you do, um, get ready. You have school today. Lucas left the room. Philip: Oh boy...Wait a minute. A man wouldn't say 'Oh boy,' that's what kids say. Being a man can be tough. Victor was yelling in the hall at Nichole. Victor: Nichole, I want you out of this house! You and Lucas were never meant to be together! Nichole: Duh! You think I like being married to that loser? Philip: (peeking out the door) Damn! I forgot how hot Nichole is. (thinking for a moment) All right! I'm not having little boy thoughts anymore. Philip went into the bathroom to shave. He looked into the mirror and smiled. His dimples began to show. Philip: I am one sexy bitch! He began shaving and serenaded himself with the song, "Bye, Bye, Bye." by NSYNC. Victor came to the door. Victor: Are you all right in there, Philip? Philip: I'm fine. ..."It ain't no lie, baby Bye, bye,bye..." Ouch! Damn razor. He felt a tear rush down his face. He cried and cried. Kate was at the door and heard him crying. Kate: Are you all right, honey? What's the matter? Philip: (sniffling) Nothing, momm-- I'm fine. Kate: Well, breakfast ready. Philip: O-(sniffle, sniffle) kay. He picked up the package of razors and read the warning label, which read, "Do not use on dry surface." Philip: Uh-oh. I'm in a lot of pain now. I can't go to school. All the kids will laugh at me. Philip was made to go to school and face the Salem High crowd. He saw that his wish worked on Belle, Brady, Mimi, and Shawn D. Philip: Hey, guys! You're all grown up. Mimi: Of course we're grown up...we're really close to being seniors, duh! Shawn: How are you doing, man? Philip: I'm doing all right. Shawn: Is that blood on your face? Philip: (laughs) Shaving accident. It can happen to anybody, right? Jan was in the corner whispering something to Jason, he then nodded, and approached them. Jason: Hey, Philly. How's Salem's little pixie stick fairy godmother doing today? Belle: Leave him alone, Jason. Philip: I'm a man. Jason: Not with those girlie looks, you're not. You are a panzy momma's boy. So go change into your pink frilly little too-too and get your fruitcake ass to class. His eyes started to water. Jason: Aw, is our future homecoming queen going to cry? Shawn: Jason, cool it. Leave Philip alone. Jason: No, I think the little fag is going to cry to his mommy, 'cause he's a momma's boy. Jan stood in the corner laughing. A slim and sexy blonde came through the door of the school. Buffy: Hi there. Jason: Hey, have we met? Buffy: No, I don't think so. Jason: What's your name? Buffy: Buffy Summers. Jason: I'm Jason. Buffy: Did I hear harsh words when I entered this building? Jason: I don't think so. Buffy: Good, because I wouldn't want to kick some ass so early in the morning. Jason smiled. Jan watched with curiousity. Belle: I'm going to class now. Shawn: I'll walk you there, Belle. Philip: I think I'll go to class too. Jason: All right. See you around, buddy! (to Buffy) Would you like me to escort you to class? Buffy: No, I think I can find my way. Jason: Okay, so I'll see you around. Buffy: I'm almost positive. Jason went to class and Jan was about to follow but Buffy caught up to her. Buffy: Hi. You're Jan Spears, right? Jan: Yeah. How do you know me? Buffy: Does it really matter? Jan: I guess not. I'm really popular. Buffy: I see that we have a class together. You want to be my lab buddy? Jan: Sure, I guess. Jan walked into the classroom. Buffy stopped for a moment before going in. Buffy: Stuck up bitch. After school, everyone hung out at Dot Com. Buffy entered the place and spotted Jan with Jason. Buffy: Just you wait, Jan Spears. I'll kick your ass before this day is over. Belle: Hi, Buffy. Do want to join us? Buffy: Okay. She sat down with Belle, Shawn, and Mimi. Belle: Is this your first day? Buffy: Yes. Mimi: Where are you from? Buffy: I went to Sunnydale High in Sunnydale, California. Mimi: That's cool. Buffy: Will you excuse me? Philip walked through the door. Philip: (smiling) Hi, Buffy. Can I buy you a soda? Buffy: I would like that. Jason watched with jealous eyes. Later at Belle's house... Buffy paid Belle a visit at her home. Buffy: I know that we just met and all, but I feel that I can really trust you. Belle smiled. Belle: What is it? Buffy: Well, um, you know how there's a Clark Kent and a Bruce Wayne. Belle: Yeah. Superman and Batman. Buffy: Yeah, well, there are two sides to me. Belle: Okay? What are they? Buffy: At night I'm Buffy and I slay vampires, but in the daytime, I visit a town called Pine Valley and make my mother's life a living nightmare. My real name is Kendal Hart. Belle: Oh. You slay vampires? Buffy: Yeah. It's hard work. I don't want to worry you, but I got a 411 of your friend, Jan Spears... Belle: She's not my friend. Buffy: Good, because I hate her. But anyways, from a reliable source, I found out that Jan is a vampire. She is planning on taking your boy friend, Shawn, and turning him against you. One bite in the neck will do it. So I need your help in getting out of everyone's lives. Belle: Okay, I'll help you. Buffy: Good. They put their plan into action to destroy Jan and free Philip from the horribe pixie spell. The next day, the teens returned to Dot Com after school, but this time with a vengance. Buffy entered and spotted Jason immediately. He was near Jan. She walked over to him. Buffy: (smiling) Hi there. Jason: Hi, Buffy. Jan glanced her way and frowned. Buffy saw Belle and their plan sprung into action. Buffy grabbed Jason and kissed him. Jan: (seeing them kissing) Hey, tramp, stop that! He's my boy friend! Buffy: I can kiss whom ever I want. You know, I don't see 'Property of Jan Spears' tatooed to his forehead. Jan: You're such a bitch. Buffy: I guess that would make you an even bigger one, right? Jan: You disgust me! Buffy: Jan, I know what you are! You are going down! Jan: What am I? Buffy: A blood sucking vampire. Jan: You're lying! Buffy: No, I'm afraid I'm not! Jan: So, what if I am? Buffy: Well, then I'll be forced to kick major vampire ass. Jan began growing fangs and hissing. Jan: I choose as my next feast...Shawn Brady! Buffy: I don't think so! You already screwed up Philip's life with your tainted bites. Now you must be distroyed. Buffy kicked Jan in the face and she flew over the cash register. She managed to get up and run back to Buffy with her arms out. Jan smacked her in the face. Then Buffy grabbed Jan by the neck, pinned her against the wall, and took out a cross, a pushed it against her face. It made a nasty red mark. She then reached into her back and took out a wooden stake. Buffy: Now. it's time for justice. Belle Black, this is for you. Buffy ran the wooden stake through Jan's heart and she died instantly. Mimi: (cried with joy) Ding, dong, the witch is dead! All of a sudden, the Salem High teens turned into their normal ages. Philip was a kid again and cried for his mommy. Brady picked up Belle, who was three, and took her to the Brady Pub. Mimi crawled over to Jan's dead body and smacked her in the face with a rattle. Buffy returned to slaying vampires and torturing her mom, Erica Kane as Kendall Hart. The End