Murder In Mother Goose Land

Act One

Laverne: (Sleeping Beauty) My, my, isn't life easy in Mother Goose Land. Don't you agree, Handsome Prince?

Carmine: (Prince) Yes, yes, Sleeping Beauty. Anything's better than being a frog. I was a walking wort.

Squiggy: ( Mr. Cow) Moo! Moo! Tis, I, Mr. Cow. And I have just come from jumping over the moon and boy are my hooves tired.

Rhonda: (Little Miss Muffet) Oooooh, whoa is me! Oooooh, whoa is meeee!

Laverne: Why Little Miss Muffet, why aren't you on your tuffet?

Rhonda: Well along came a spider and sat down beside me.

Squiggy: Moo! Moo! Do I smell curds and whey?

Edna: (Little Red Riding Hood) Help! Help! It's the Big Bad Wolf!

Frank: (The Big Bad Wolf) What wolf? It's me, your granny.

Edna: Oh Granny, what big eyes you got.

Frank: Better to see you with. (howls)

Cut to:

Laverne and Shirley's verson.

Shirley: (Humpty Dumpty) Aaaah! I'm falling! Aaaah! I'm falling! (falls down) Oh! Oh!

Laverne: (Mr. Cow) Moo!

Cut to:

Cowboy Bill's version.

Lenny, Squiggy, and Edna's characters are dead on the floor.

Carmine: (singing) The woods just aren't safe these days!

Rhonda: Do-o these curds and whey smell funny to anyone? (calapses)

Cut to:

Laverne and Shirley version.

Laverne: Moo! Moo! Why should I wait for that Little Red Riding Hood? She always carries that basket full of junk food!

Laverne and Shirley attempt the "Big Bad Wolf" scene.

Shirley: Grandmother, what a big nose you have!

Laverne: (giving her a dirty look) The better to smell you with.

Shirley: (notices Laverne still has the cow costume on as well) What a big utter and tail you have.

Laverne: Well, you know how grampa likes granny to dress up.

Shirley runs with fear while Laverne growls and chases her. Shirley disappears.

Laverne: (growling stops) Moo! Moo! My, my! Shirl, get out here. I don't know who I am.

Shirley is Humpty Dumpty and falls off the wall...

Shirley: What's that you asked, Mr. Cow? What happened? I was pushed off the wall.

Laverne: Moo!

Shirley: By who, you asked, Mr. Cow? By.. By .. Bye-bye.

Laverne: A murder in Mother Goose Land. (people exit from the audience) and Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Act Two

 

Shirley: (Prince) Well, Sleeping Beauty, all our Mother Goose Land friends are dead. Except you and I and The Big Bad Wolf. Don't worry, I'll kill The Big

Bad Wolf.

Laverne turns into Little Red Riding Hood.

Laverne: (with a beater) Now, Sleeping Beauty, I'm going to beat you to death!

Shirley: Why, Little Red Riding Hood, I thought you were dead.

Laverne: Oh, no. I just got a tummy ache from eating too much junk food.

More to come...

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