| Chapter
2
Madelyn was handed a bulletin on the way
into the church. She followed her husband to their usual pew
and knelt in prayer. This summer had been so difficult. She
couldn’t help compare Ian to Judy. Sex with her husband
had been reduced to a series of “what-ifs” and
“if-onlys”. She had surfed the Internet and had
read quite a lot about domination and submission. She thought
back on her life. All the really intense sexual experiences
she had ever had, and she could remember them all, had an
element of power transfer to them.
The choir was particularly wonderful today.
She let the music and the rhythm of the liturgy wash over
and through her. Her dissatisfaction had Ian worried too.
He knew something was bothering her but couldn’t put
his finger on it. He was being solicitous, gentle and helpful.
Madelyn almost laughed at the thought. If only he wasn’t
so gentle! This really couldn’t continue. She had to
do something. She hardly heard the familiar prayers and during
the homily she scanned through the bulletin.
‘Marriage encounter weekend’.
The title stood out like a beacon. She folded the bulletin
so that this piece was on top and silently passed it to Ian
with a questioning look. He read the entry, looked at her
and gave a small nod. She took a deep breath and feeling of
relief swept through her. Well, perhaps it was a start.
The weekend retreat was located in the conference
room of the local hotel. There were at least two-dozen couples
in attendance and several facilitators. They did the expected
exercises in trust building, communications and even financial
management. It was all very useful, but predictably not quite
enough to get to the root of the malaise between Madelyn and
Ian.
“May I join you?” Madelyn and
Ian were sitting by themselves in the crowded cafeteria during
the lunch break on Sunday. Madelyn looked up to see one of
the facilitators holding his tray of salad and sandwiches.
“Of course, let me find you a chair.”
Ian stood and looked around for another chair to pull up to
their small table.
Madelyn had been watching this man during
the sessions. In point of fact, he hadn’t participated
in any of the sessions, but had simply sat at the back, watched
and listened. He was not a particularly big man but powerfully
built, dressed casually in a black turtleneck and black trousers.
His long blond hair was tied back with a leather thong. Madelyn
found him fascinating. Now that he was close, she could tell
his eyes were steel grey. He caught her eye and she felt her
insides flip over; her palms were instantly hot. He only held
her gaze for a moment, but it felt like an eternity. Madelyn
couldn’t look away, couldn’t even breathe; she
was trapped like a fly in amber. How was he doing this? She
felt a flush rising on her face; her pussy throbbed. The smallest
of smiles crept across his face. Then Ian returned with the
chair and the spell was broken. Madelyn quickly dropped her
eyes to her lunch, trying to compose herself.
“I should introduce myself,”
he said, extending his hand to Ian. “My name is Stephen
Rutka. How are you enjoying the sessions?”
“Glad to meet you,” Ian shook
the offered hand. “Ian Standish, this is my wife Madelyn.
The sessions are…” he searched for the right word,
“informative, I guess.”
Stephen laughed. “Yes, they are that.”
They exchanged observations of the retreat
as they ate their lunch. Ian noted how incongruous it was
for celibate priests to give advice on marital harmony. Madelyn
sat quietly pushing her salad around her plate, trying desperately
not to look at Stephen again. She felt embarrassed and excited
by her reaction. Finally Stephen sat back and looked at them
silently for some time. He seemed to come to a decision.
“I should tell you something. I’m
a member of a very ancient order. It’s my mandate here
to observe this group and identify those who I think might
benefit from a … different sort of counselling. If you
feel this retreat does not answer all your needs, please feel
free to give me a call.” He handed Ian his business
card, picked up his tray and left.
Madelyn felt her heart sink. Oh shit, a monk!
Her embarrassment rose again. She had hardly even been aware
she was considering Stephen as a sexual partner, until she
realized it probably wasn’t possible. Was she so close
to betraying Ian again? He was a good man; he didn’t
deserve that. She resolved again to be loyal. Oh, but if only
Ian could make her feel like that! Madelyn leaned over to
look at the card. It simply said “Master Stephen”
and gave a phone number. Ian slipped the card in his pocket
and they went back to the conference room for more exercises.
Madelyn was distracted. Her body kept shuddering
at inopportune times as she remembered the feeling of being
trapped in Stephen’s gaze. What was worse, Stephen was
still in the room! She would look at him occasionally and
see him sitting very still watching the participants. How
did he sit so still? His posture was immaculate.
About four in the afternoon they finished
the exercises. They would re-convene in the makeshift chapel
for a closing Mass. Ian had gone to the bathroom and Maddie
was gathering up their ‘resource’ papers. All
of a sudden, she felt the hair crawl up the back of her head.
Her breath caught, her belly clenched. She froze as the sensation
washed over her. This was so much more intense than the little
tremors that had distracted her all afternoon. She struggled
to regain control of her body and managed to look up. She
found herself looking right into Stephen’s eyes. His
gaze was intense and directed. She felt like she was on fire
and at the same time cold as ice. She knew what she was experiencing
was coming from him even though he was across the room. She
wanted to fall to her knees. She felt she should, but knew
she shouldn’t. Her mind struggled to make sense of what
she was feeling. She settled for lowering her eyes and bowing
her head. As quickly as the sensation started it stopped.
Maddie gasped and reached for a chair as familiar hands caught
her.
“Maddie! Are you okay? You look terrible.
What happened?” Ian was all concern as he examined her
face.
“I’m fine, I think,” Maddie
looked around for Stephen. He was gone. “Just felt a
bit faint, that’s all. I guess I didn’t eat enough
at lunch.”
“Here sit down. Are you ok to go to
the Mass?” Ian helped her into the chair.
Maddie looked up at him and laughed. “You
are just looking for an excuse to duck out on the Mass, aren’t
you? Well, why don’t you take your ‘sick’
wife home then?”
“You’re wonderful. You know me
so well!” He kissed her forehead. “I certainly
have had enough of this self-righteous shit,” Ian whispered.
“Wait here and catch your breath. I’ll go make
our excuses.”
Ian and Madelyn picked up a pizza and a bottle
of wine on their way home. They played board games with their
boys until bedtime. When the children were all safely tucked
in, Ian and Madelyn crawled into their own king size bed.
Ian pulled Madelyn into his arms and kissed her tenderly.
Maddie responded, moulding her body to his. Ian’s hands
explored her familiar curves and crevices.
Maddie tried to keep her mind on Ian, but
as usual, she found the predictability of their love making
a bit… well… boring. Her mind wandered. As Ian
rolled on top of her, opening her thighs, Maddie’s mind
helpfully produced Stephen’s eyes trapping her. She
felt he was right there watching her. A shock of passion raced
through her body from deep in her belly up through her breasts
and out her hands. Madelyn felt a shock of dread; she had
often brought fantasy images to bear when they made love.
It just usually wasn’t someone this real or quite so…
immediate. But it was just fantasy after all. Besides, Ian
liked it when she came hard, and she didn’t want to
fake it, so she would use whatever fantasy would work to get
her mind engaged and her body hot. She closed her eyes allowing
the memory of the afternoon to flood through her.
Her body arched under Ian as he entered her,
thrusting rhythmically, his pelvic bone crushing her clit
with every drive. Madelyn kept Stephen’s face firmly
in her mind. She concentrated on his eyes, and then his mouth,
his beautiful full lips that spoke so much of pleasure and
power. She reached above her head and grabbed the headboard.
Years of dance training had left her with strong, flexible
legs and she used them now. She hooked her ankles together
behind Ian’s back and pulled him in. Her passion rose
higher as she pulled on the headboard with all her strength.
Ian was well endowed and his cock seemed harder and thicker
than usual tonight. His thrusts seemed to split her open.
She pulled on the headboard imagining Stephen walking towards
her slowly. Ian un-hooked her legs and pushed them up towards
her head, opening her wider as he thrust into her. She could
feel his cock battering up against her cervix.
Maddie imagined herself tied to the headboard
and Stephen was coming to get her. Oh God! He’s getting
closer! Ian’s thrusts were slow, deliberate and hard,
each one pinning her to the bed. Fear and excitement raced
through Maddie as the image of Stephen was almost upon her.
One last deep thrust and Stephen reached out to touch her
clit. There. Maddie cried out as her climax took her. She
held onto the image of Stephen’s finger just touching
her clit for as long as she could, thrashing under Ian as
the orgasm swept through her. Finally the image evaporated
and the orgasm past. Ian carefully bent her legs and looked
at her tenderly.
“Was that as good as it looked, darling?”
“Oh God, yes!” Maddie felt the
aftershocks as Ian gently withdrew and caressed her body letting
her calm. Then he flipped her over and lifted her hips.
“My turn,” he declared, preparing
to enter her from behind. Maddie found she did not need any
further fantasies. This was her favourite position. Face down
in the sheets, with her ass in the air she felt open, vulnerable.
She was never quite sure what Ian would do with her in this
position. Maddie reached behind her spreading her ass for
him. She was slick and wet and still right on the cusp of
climax. Ian slid into her cunt easily and deeply. The first
thrust like this always felt like a violation. Maddie cried
out as the familiar, welcome pain and pleasure shot through
her. She pushed her hips back towards him and his thrusts
increased in strength and speed. Her face was pushed deep
into the sheets as she kept her hands on her ass forgoing
any support from her arms. Her discomfort didn’t matter;
she was being used for his pleasure, hard and fast. She felt
the hot spurts deep in her core as he released into her unleashing
yet another climax for her. She held as still as she could
until he collapsed on top of her. Then she relaxed, luxuriating
in the weight of her husband on her back.
They fell asleep easily in each other’s
arms.
In the days following the retreat, life slowly
returned to normal. The extra sensitivity and awareness they
had practiced over the weekend, gradually was replaced by
the patterns and habits formed over years of marriage. Madelyn
masturbated repeatedly to the memory of Stephen’s rock
hard gaze until the fantasy image began to lose its potency.
She found herself thinking of Judy again, her resolve never
to see her again wavering.
A month later Madelyn found Stephen’s
card on Ian’s dresser. Perhaps they should try something
more. Madelyn convinced herself she wanted the counselling
for her marriage, not simply for the opportunity to Stephen
again. He was not accessible, she told herself firmly. Get
over it, Maddie! She would speak to Ian about it when he got
home.
|
