THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND Edition 1.6: EowynAeryn hussies over JC
Author: LeatherGirl
Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape or anything associated with Farscape. I did not alter any dialogue by EowynAeryn.
Thanks to EowynAeryn for visiting the Fellip Nectar Stand and drooling over John Crichton!!
Warning: Some revealing scenarios so youngin’s beware!
*****
[John is mingling at bar with bartender, trying to get info on the scaper staring, or perhaps drooling at him from the opposite side of the bar. He learns it is EowynAeryn and motions for her to come over to join him. A drink is placed before her but she barely notices. EowynAeryn scopes John out, from head to toe and back again. She leans forward on the bar, adjusting the neckline of her low-cut red blouse, hoping John will notice her. He does. When he catches her looking, he blushes and looks away.]
John: “EowynAeryn, welcome to the Uncharted Territories.” [Holds out hand and EowynAeryn makes it a point to hold out her hand for a kiss. John pauses at her gesture and willingly bends and kisses her hand. EowynAeryn sighs with a smile.]
EowynAeryn: “Nice leather pants, handsome!”
John: [Blushing even more.] “Ah, thanks. Nice…ah, um, green eyes…I like your eyes.” [Trying not to think of her other features he had noticed earlier.] Well, I guess we should start. Interviews, I hate ‘em. Can’t see why Zhaan wants to know so much about you guys…figured Scorpius would be the one for that. Invading the mind crap is definitely not my specialty and I am 100% against it! Yet, here I am. And here goes some questioning. I have a curious mind, you know. Let’s talk. What is up with that handle? You guys sure know how to confuse a man!”
EowynAeryn: “Well, John, the handle is a way of expressing our alter-egos on the bulletin board. You know, who we see ourselves as, who we’d really like to BE, given the choice! Mine is a combination of two of my favorite female kick-eema heroines. The Aeryn part you can figure out pretty easily-I would certainly like to emulate her. The other half, Eowyn, and you can call me Eowyn, dear, is a character from Lord of the Rings, by Tolkein. You’ve probably read it, but if not, she’s a very ordinary pampered royal princess type who decides that she is really a heroine when her brother is killed in a battle against these very evil magical creatures called Nazgul, who ride on flying mounts. She takes her brother’s armor and his place in the battle, and manages to kill the Lord of the Nazgul. She’s severely injured, but turns the tide of a major battle, and even survives to tell the tale. She really shocks everyone, including herself, I think, by her inner strength.” [Eowyn catches her breath and drinks some fellip nectar. John tilts head and gazes at EowynAeryn with inquiring eyes.]
EowynAeryn: “Oh,
John, I just love it when you tilt your head like that! One of the groups that I belong to is the
JCAA (John Crichton Addicts Anonymous), and I’m the one who’s ‘officially
addicted to the head tilt and the thumb stroking the lower lip’. Ya know, the JCAA group has a tendency to
John: [Raises eyebrows and continues interview.] “I see you’re a member of the SACCers. I like those scapers. Mind telling me what your stand is in this group? I hear you’re the keeper of my right hand?????”
EowynAeryn: [Giggles.] “Hmmm—ya really want to hear about that, huh? Well, I chose that title soon after LatP2, when I heard your utterly wonderful riff on where Lt. Braca should shoot you. I nearly fell off the couch when I heard you describe your right had as your sex life. I figured that I wanted to be the one who would claim to be the ‘Keeper of your Sex Life’. Of course, if it were up to me, you could use your right hand for other things—writing, shooting with Winona, repairing the Farscape module…but hopefully NOT for THAT reason.” [John blushes terribly.] “Ooooh! I really do enjoy making you blush, John!”
John: “So you guys watch me get my ass kicked week in and week out. What can a group of SACCers do for a man who’s a gazillion miles away? How do you guys keep me safe? And not to mention sane?”
EowynAeryn: “Well, Johnnie, it’s a pretty difficult job. The PTB don’t seem to listen to us much! We’ve got out IGDETs (That’s Infamous Giant Double Edged Trout) to sling around. I’ve also started a little sub-committee of SACC, called the Female Physician Farscape Fans, after I noticed that you really needed some medical attention. And that Epona and Elnea and I were all, well, physician Farscape fans. I’m the Official kisser of your boo-boos as well as the Protector of your future children.” [Winks at a grinning John.] “We’re also got a psychotherapist in our ranks, as well as protectors of Sanity, Self-Esteem, Massagers of your Ego, official Hand-Holders…We’ll try to do the best we can for you, sweetheart, both physically and mentally!”
John: “Okay, Eowyn, try this question on for size. What would you do if you were caught in my situation? Would you survive as long as I have? Sure would be nice to have some human company around here for a change.”
EowynAeryn: “I’d
love to keep you company in the UTs, baby, but I’m not sure how well I’d
do. I’m pretty good with mechanical
equipment, so I’d be able to help you out on some of those repairs and
maintenance stints. Turns out that I
have a degree in Biomedical Engineering from MIT, so we have something in
common! Have to admit, though, when I
was there, none of the guys were as cute as you. So did you take a course on remedial nerdiness, or are you just
naturally appealing?” [John glances
around, trying to avoid Eowyn’s intense stare.
Eowyn smiles and continues on.]
As a physician, I’d love to learn more about Zhaan’s healing techniques
and herbs, but I think that I’d be relatively useless in battle. I’m more like Chiana that way—I’d think that
I’d need to kick, kiss, or cry myself out of situations. Of course, you could be a hero and rescue
me!” [Slides closer to John at last
statement, causing him to blush once more.]
John: [Looks at flask.] “Damn this Raslac.” [Takes a swig.] “Everyone loves it. So why can’t I have my ice cream? I just know they’d love it out here. My mind tends to travel lately, sorry. Know of any ways to help me out? Scorpius sure can do a number on the mind.”
EowynAeryn:
“Actually dear, I brought along a few things for you, including some
Haagen Dasz chocolate, my absolutely favorite flavor. A girl’s gotta have her vices, right? And chocolate ice cream ranks right up there with sex!” [John tilts head.
John: “Scorpy who?” [Staring at Eowyn with interest.]
EowynAeryn: “That’s better, darlin’!”
John: “I hear you have a crush on me. A lot of scapers do. Hell, I’ve even been getting strange messages from this girl LeatherGirl, but back to the question. Is there really a blow up doll version of me or even Ben Browder on the bboard? Please tell me they’re being nice to it! I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to the scapers, of course.” [Laughs nervously, waiting for Ewoyn’s response.]
EowynAeryn: “Now
honey, who ever told you that? Have you
been talking to StevePalmer, or MesaScaper, or 13thNight, or
Leah? Oh, must have been
LeatherGirl! Cause, it’s not
technically true! I don’t really have a
crush on you! What I’ve got
sweet-cheeks, is way to big to be called a crush—more like an obsessive
fascination! I’m the organizer of a group
called the Shameless Hussy Posse, and I’m Hussy Numero Uno. We do have a wonderful time with IBD (that’s
Inflatable Ben Doll) and we fantasize about uninhibited physical gestures like
long, virtual, wet, sloppy kisses—yum, coed naked hot tub tickling
John: “How do you like it in the Uncharted Territories so far? Not so bad when you’re drinking, huh?”
EowynAeryn: “So far, Eowyn has been enjoying the UTs quite a bit, but I don’t think that the drinks have anything to do with it! I think that the best thing about it has been the COMPANY.” [Smiles flirtatiously with a wink.] “I’ve made a Shameless Hussy Posse dance mix. Care to dance?” [Eowyn places a CD boombox on the bar which the bartender stares at with interest and puts on a new song from Ricky Martin’s newest CD, Sound Loaded. Grabs John’s hand and pulls him out to an open area in the bar.] “This first song is called ‘Jezebel’ and I’d just love to Latin salsa with you, John! And, this song is SO ME!” [John gets into the music and begins to dance with Eowyn.]
[Aliens in bar stare at the two with confused looks. Eowyn and John dance to first song, then continue on to ‘She Bangs’ song, and finally the ‘Una Noche’ song by 98 Degrees before they collapse back onto the barstools with smiles.]
John: [Hears someone
clearing her throat over the comms sitting at the edge of the bar. John lets out a sigh and smiles to Eowyn.
EowynAeryn: “You know, John, I really do think Moya needs a hot tub. We should be able to rig one from amnexus conduits, and other things. Heck, two MIT-trained engineers such as ourselves could probably McGuyver one from duct tape, bailing wire, and a Swiss Army Knife!” [Eowyn whips out a swiss army knife from inside her low-cut blouse and smiles flirtatiously at John. John blushes once again.]
John: “What else do you keep in there?” [Bewildered.]
EowynAeryn: “Wanna
find out???” [Laughs as John blushes.
John: “It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Eowyn. Let’s toast to hoping that you and the SACCers are like the Energizer bunny when it comes to putting up with all the dren thrown my way!” [John and Eowyn tap glasses and drink to the toast. Eowyn leans in closer to John and lands a wet on his lips, startling him out of his wits. John recovers quickly and shares an appreciative smile with Eowyn.]
*****
Thanks to EowynAeryn for appearing in this week’s edition of the Fellip Nectar Stand. I’m sure a lot of us girls (and probably a guy or two) who are drooling over JC/BB are pretty jealous by now. But have no fear! John Crichton is here for many more interviews. So if any of you scapers out there wish to appear in an upcoming edition, give me a post or email and we’ll get together!