THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND  Edition 1.7: UK Gets The Episodes First!

 

Author:  LeatherGirl

 

Disclaimer:  I do not own Farscape or anything associated with Farscape.

 

The dispute over the unveiling of the newest episodes of Farscape has spread even into the Uncharted Territories.  Yes, the Brits are getting the episodes first…and laughing evilly!

 

*****

 

John:  [Laughs as he and Rygel play a game of UT checkers at a booth. (John’s hand-carved set, Rygel’s rules.)]  “Ha!  Gotchya there.  Now you owe me another drink.”

 

Rygel:  [Grumbles regrettably.]  “Frell.  I thought this would be easy.  They’re my rules for the Raz of Hezmana!” 

 

John:  [Studies board thoughtfully.]   “What a mess the scapers have run into.”

 

Rygel:  “Mess?  What mess?”  [Makes move on board.]

 

John:  “The UK gets to see the final four episodes of our season 2…an entire month before the US!”  [Leans back, his arms flung out to demonstrate the monstrosity of the situation.]

 

Rygel:  “Hmphf.  If you ask me, they deserve it.”

 

John:  “You always say that.”

 

Rygel:  “Well, it’s true.”

 

John:  “You don’t even know what I’m talking about, do you?”  [Leans forward to rest elbows on table.]

 

Rygel:  “Not really.  No.  Do I care?  No.  Your move.”

 

John:  [Grumbles under breath and carelessly moves a checker.]  “We must be so good, that the wait is like standing in line at Disney World.  You can stand there for the longest time and see hints and glimpses of the ride, but no matter what you do, the line is just to frelling long and crowded.  You just have to wait.”

 

Rygel:  “Life is so unfair.”  [With sarcasm in his voice.]

 

John:  “I guess the Aussies are really the ones suffering.  They haven’t even seen all of season one and probably none of season two.  And that’s where the show originates from!”

 

Rygel:  “Good things come to those who wait.”

 

John:  “When did you become so philosophical?”  [Getting a little miffed at Rygel.]

 

Rygel:  [Moves a checker and captures one of John’s pieces.  Laughs lightly.]  “I’ve been smoking this Talchek for almost an arn.  It’ll do wonders.  You should try it sometime.”  [To prove point, Rygel brings up his long cigar-like product and takes a long whiff.  Billowing, scented smoke hovers through the air.]

 

John:  [Coughs from the smoke.]  “At least it builds up the greatness of the final four.  And the US will get a slightly shorter break between the finale and the beginning of season 3…that is if all the scheduling goes the same from there.  Who knows?”   [Moves a checker and captures one of Rygel’s pieces.  Rygel grunts, disapproving.  John glares and reclaims the checker’s original position.]

 

Rygel:  “What is your angle in all of this?”  [Squints eyes suspiciously.]

 

John:  [Cocks head at Rygel with a look.]  “Rygel, we’re on the show.  Besides, this is a big issue with scapers on the bboard.  They’re even starting ‘No Spoilers’ parties and sanctuaries.  UK Scapers will be flocking to the bboard with spoilers as they come.”

 

Rygel:  “No spoilers?  That has nothing to do with food, I hope.”

 

John:  [Moves checker again and captures two of Rygel’s checkers.  Rygel grunts in frustration.]  “I’ve heard the UK has no competition for ratings so that’s why they’re playing the final four this month.”

 

Rygel:  “Ah huh.”  [Now uninterested, Rygel concentrates harder on the game…even with his own rules in place, he still somehow is managing to lose.]

 

John:  “I guess it’s all the same in the end.”

 

Rygel:  “Now you’re making sense.”  [Places a checker four steps across the board and then does a loop.  The checker ends up back on his side of the board.  Rygel smiles triumphantly.]

 

John:  “What kinda move was that?  What the frell was that, Rygel?”  [Raising hands up and looking to Rygel as if he were an idiot.]

 

Rygel:  “While you’re sitting on your eema complaining, I devised a new plan.  If I landed on the 23^rd square here without crossing over that square and running into your king, I could manage to win the game.  So there.  I won.”  [Smiles smugly and leans back, taking a puff of his Talchek.]

 

John:  “Do you think they’ll keep their promise with the spoilers issue?”

 

Rygel:  “They who?  What spoilers?”  [Takes another puff.]

 

John:  “Rygel, you’re really beginning to get on my nerves.”  [Glances around as if looking for something.]  “Are there any airlocks around here?”

 

Rygel:  “Hmphf.  If you think that’s going to make me scared, you’ve failed.  Failed miserably!”

 

John:  “I know one thing for sure.  The scapers are going to get one hezmana of a heart attack over the final four episodes.  Even I can’t believe what happens!  Damn, we’re frelled.  That’s all I can say.”  [Leans back heavily and takes a drink of Fellip Nectar.]

 

Rygel:  “Frelled.  I like that word.”  [Starts to laugh.  The booth is getting hazier and hazier by the microt as the Talchek burns.]

 

John:  [Laughs as well, the smoke getting to him.]  “Ha.  Only we know what really is going on…and what will happen in season 3 before any of them, Ryge.  Buckwheat, Sparky.  Love those catchy nicknames.  Let’s drink to Farscape, shall we?  And congratulate the UK for getting to see the most anticipated four episodes of the universe!” 

 

[Rygel and John tap their flasks of Fellip Nectar together, carelessly spilling precious alcohol.  The two laugh and the scene fades to black.]

 

*****

 

COUGH! Cough!  Whew!  Got really smoky in there for a while.  Congrats to the UK for getting what all scapers are dying to see--the final four episodes.  Let me warn you to please, PLEASE warn us scapers that you are posting spoilers.  Some of the scapers desperately need to be in the dark until January.  I can’t speak for myself…I’m losing control!  I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay at bay and not peak!   AUGH!

LeatherGirl runs to the stand and joins John and Rygel at the booth.  She grabs the Talchek and takes a long, satisfying puff.  (And I don’t even smoke!)  Here’s to January 5^th!!!