THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND Edition 2.4: It Could Happen…Couldn’t It?
Author: LeatherGirl
Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape or anything associated with Farscape. Anything that may or may not happen in this edition is purely temporary. No aliens were harmed in the writing of this fiction.
Again, some references to other editions are used. Sorry for any confusion this may cause!
*****
[BOOM! A tremendous shaking begins to destroy the stand. The stand rocks with fury and fire. Barstools splinter, vats of Raslac spew, and aliens are sent flying in every direction in outer space. Portions of the structure of the stand are crumbled and sent into an orbit along with the aliens.]
Bartender: [Screams into the vacuum of space.] “Frell!”
Scorpius: [Hanging onto a slab of a booth.] “Hisssss! Frelling human!”
[Flasks of unopened alcohol fly past Chiana’s face as she swirls past D’Argo. Zhaan is holding her body centered with meditation while Rygel fearfully clings to her left leg. Stark is laughing crazily and grasping for any bit of debris to anchor himself during the explosion.]
Chiana: “Frell. I was just getting to know Jothee a little better.”
D’Argo: [Flips body around to face Chiana in space.] “What!?”
Jothee: [Screams as he shoots past the two.] “Chiana!”
Rygel: “He finally did it. He finally killed us.”
Aeryn’s Soul: [Floats up to Rygel and pulls his ear. Rygel hollers.] “Watch what you’re saying. I can easily materialize a pulse pistol if I want to.”
Zhaan: [Opens eyes and finishes meditating.] “There’s Moya! Pilot, track us in!”
Pilot: [Over the comms floating past John’s Mind.] “Already done. The debris around you will be trapped into the docking bay as well.”
John’s Mind: “I am soooo sorry! I didn’t know that when Aeryn’s Mind touched the left hemisphere of my brain that it would set off a chain reaction of events leading to an explosion.”
Chiana: [Yells to John’s Mind.] “Great! Where are we supposed to drink now?”
John’s Mind: “And I thought you were there for the entertainment.”
D’Argo: “And then some.”
Stark: “If Zhaan and I can reach each other, we can do a time reversal. We can save the stand!”
Zhaan: [Frowns.] “Last time that happened, we nearly were killed.”
Rygel: “Last time?”
Stark: “Don’t worry, you won’t remember a thing.” [Clutches onto the splintered view screen floating past for a ride towards Zhaan.]
Aeryn’s Soul: “Just do it!”
John’s Mind: “I kinda liked it when Aeryn’s Soul…”
Rygel: “NOW Zhaan!”
Bartender: “Asteroid!”
[Everyone screams as a huge asteroid pummels towards the debris cloud where the stand once existed. The asteroid pierces through, nearly taking Rygel and Zhaan with it and sends the entire debris cloud into a maddening spin. The Bartender is nowhere to be found.]
D’Argo: “Pilot! Get us out of here.”
[A plate full of Hynerian modules floats past Rygel. Without hesitation, he releases from Zhaan and floats after it, his nose leading the way and his greedy little fingers wriggling for the plate.]
John’s Mind: “Rygel! Come back!”
[Fluffy pink dice swirl through the debris cloud followed by two DRDs. Crais floats past and waves at the crew, tagging on to the tail of a miniaturized Talyn.]
Crais: “Sianara.”
[Scorpius floats towards John’s Mind with a fishing net spread out in his arms. John’s Mind freaks and twirls himself into motion towards Aeryn’s Soul. Aeryn’s Soul grabs a carved sculpture of Talyn from nearby and swings it towards Scorpius. Scorpius growls and flips backward to avoid the forgotten creation of D’Argo’s and smacks into a portion of the bar counter and is obliterated. John’s Mind laughs uncontrollably, oblivious to the large shard of glass spearing towards him.]
Aeryn’s Mind: “John! Watch out!”
[John’s Mind veers out of the way at the last microt and the glass spears past D’Argo. D’Argo shrieks. All his braids have been severed. They float away as he sorrowfully rubs his face.]
Stark: “Zhaan! We must do this now!”
Zhaan: “Come closer! I can’t reach you.” [Zhaan reaches out towards Stark, who is less than two arms length away from her.]
Chiana: “Watch out! The Aurora Barstool!” [The Aurora Barstool roars past the entire crew with electrifying zaps shooting out of it.]
D’Argo: “Pilot!”
Rygel: “Burrrppp!” [Shoves another Hynerian module into his mouth as he and the plate spins past a disgusted Chiana.]
John’s Mind: “Hey, my chess set.” [Stares in wonder as individual pieces of his hand-carved chess set float past in an eerie fashion. Time appears to slow down for everyone and everything else surrounding John’s Mind.]
D’Argo: “My Qualta blade!” [Reaches out for his prized weapon and is gradually sucked into a black hole and disappears. All scream D’Argo’s name in slow motion.]
[John’s Mind observes Aeryn’s real body floating off in the distance. Aeryn’s Soul notices as well and races towards it. John’s Mind has microns to tell her to stop but his voice would fail to meet her by the time she got to the trap. Aeryn’s Soul finally grasps her body and disappears.]
Stark: “Come closer, Zhaan.” [John’s Mind turns to see the two’s hands outreached, their fingers only a dench apart. A splitting noise distracts John’s Mind. He looks to see Rygel suddenly burst into a billion pieces. He ate too much.]
Chiana: “John…” [Before she can finish, Chiana is flung towards the Bartender and the two disintegrate. If John’s Mind had eyes, they would be bulging out by now.]
[Moya and Pilot both are closer than ever to the slowly rotating debris cloud by now. John’s Mind can almost smell them. At least he hoped that was what he was smelling. Moya floats closer. John’s Mind propels himself towards Stark and Zhaan, now a half dench apart.]
Zhaan: “Staaarrrkkkk!” [Their fingers touch and in an instant, the two are molded into blue Jell-O, jiggling dangerously close to a sharp-edged corner piece of the stand. John’s Mind notices the debris forming into puzzle shapes.]
Pilot: “We’re here.” [Too late. Moya and Pilot become stuck in an invisible net of the Flax. John’s Mind screams. A flask of Raslac floats past. John’s Mind grasps it and takes a long drink. He releases the flask and looks around. A hot burning red giant is fast approaching him. John’s Mind spots his module flying right for him. He smiles in hopes of rescue. His module is suddenly side-swiped by a PeaceKeeper Command Carrier which in turn crashes into the red giant.]
John’s Mind: “Oh crap.” [The red giant explodes.]
Voice: “John. John! Wake up!”
John’s Mind: “Huh?” [If he had eyes, he would open them at this point. He finds himself resting comfortably on a pillow on the bar at the stand. Everything around him is intact. Everything and everyone. John’s Mind releases a long shaky breath (yes, his mind can breathe) and smiles. He turns to see who awoke him. Bad teeth. A face only a mother could love…maybe. Black leather.]
John’s Mind: “Hehe. Did I ever recommend those dentics to you?”
*****
What the frell? I’m sure that’s what you are all thinking right about now. Was it a dream? Did the time reversal thing happen? Did Scorpius finally get a clue and use a dentic? Hey, who knows what will happen in the beginning of Season 3. Well, it may not be too big of a surprise, but hey, gotta be different! Just felt like shaking things up a bit.
As for this week’s edition, hope it was enjoyable. Stay tuned for next week’s edition of FNS—We’ll deal with the pressing issues of what happens in the premiere episode of Season 3.