THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND Edition 2.9: Where Danger Lurks (We Do Not Venture)
Author: LeatherGirl
Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape or anything associated with Farscape. Frell, and I don’t even own much of anything else either!
Author’s Note: There will be no edition for April 27th due to a reception for my exhibit and family visiting. Thanks for reading. Enjoy!
*****
[Chiana, John, and D’Argo are centered in front of the view screen at the Stand. D’Argo has a set of animal skins stretched across empty vats for a drum set situated in front of him. He also has a voice-echo device in front of him (known to us humans as a microphone. John and Chiana stand beside him with voice-echoes in front of themselves as well. The Stand is filled with all kinds of unusual and somewhat familiar alien species enjoying their favorite beverages. They are seated quite civilly beside one another with their full attention towards the stage area. Aeryn, Rygel, Jool, and Stark are seated in the far end of the Stand at their usual booth looking on with unenthusiastic expressions.]
John: [Clears throat and smiles at audience.] “For our next song, we’re gonna give you a little taste of Rock and Roll!”
[John swings his arms and points to D’Argo, who at the moment was still studying the drum set with awe. The Audience claps and D’Argo is startled. He drops the sticks in his hands and clumsily picks them up. D’Argo begins to pound on the drums wildly, allowing his braids and tendrils to flop around his head. John shakes his head and looks to Chiana. Chiana smiles and begins to sway her hips. John looks out to the audience and smiles once more as he too, begins to move his body to the beat. The two then begin to sing together in sweet harmony.]
Wild and untamed, the Uncharted Territories
With life and death more common than cheese.
How do we survive through every adventure?
Where danger lurks, we do not venture.
[Fast paced-verse by D’Argo in background.]
Wormholes, Scorpius, PeaceKeepers, Time travel, Starburst…
The three hour tour now three cycles long
Sometimes starving enough to eat a Budong.
Food cubes and magic mushrooms for dinner.
Where danger lurks, we do not venture.
[D’Argo’s verse once again.]
Frozen Lakes, Neural Chips, Luxan Bonding Rituals…
Never ending chases, battles, and the worst--
Taking a shower or a crap during starburst.
When it comes to excitement we’re the winner
Where danger lurks, we do not venture.
[D’Argo almost drops his drum sticks as his head spins from bobbing it so.]
Insanity, Nebari, Viruses, Crais…
Aboard a living biomechanoid ship
Moya and Pilot always give you a tip.
PeaceKeepers and Scorpius, oh sure!
Where danger lurks, we do not venture.
[D’Argo smiles and twirls the drum sticks this time around.]
Danger lurks, We don’t venture, Danger lurks, We don’t venture…
Count ‘em--seven escapees on the run
Sure we may die but we’re still havin’ fun.
Maybe one to many a close encounter
Where danger lurks, we do not venture.
[D’Argo once again.]
Traltyxx, Gammak Bases, The Flax, Princesses, Sex…
We kick ass week after week
Returning home and conquering we seek
Someday we’ll come to some closure
Where danger lurks, we do not venture.
[All three lean in to their voice-echoes and say in unison:]
Or at least we try!
[Song ends and the audience claps, whistles, and shouts. They really like the new Rock and Roll sound. John, Chiana, and D’Argo take a bow and venture on over to the booth where the others are currently on their fourth Raslac of the evening.]
John: [Scoots in next to Aeryn.] “How’d you like it?”
Chiana: [Takes one large gulp of the flask of Raslac, emptying the flask] “That was wild!”
D’Argo: “I love those boom boxes.”
John: [Confused but then realizes D’Argo’s interpretation of the drums.] “Drum set, Big D, drum set.”
Rygel: [Takes large balls of fluffy blue material out of his ears.] “I thought you’d never quit.” [John is about to respond but is interrupted.]
Stark: “That was quite interesting, actually. How did you know what to say and when to say it?”
Chiana: “Practice! Lots and lots of practice…and Raslac!” [Giggles and downs another flask and cuddles up to D’Argo who smiles in return. He places his arm around her shoulders.]
Rygel: [Rolls eyes and proceeds to stuff material back into his ears.] “Perhaps I should have these surgically implanted so that I don’t have to listen to your nonsense!”
Jool: “Maybe I should have screamed. That would have at least cleared this place out and we’d have all the free alcohol we wanted.”
Aeryn: “And what? Melt all the taps? Ha!” [Turns to John.] “That wasn’t very beneficial. Do you realize you probably gave away more information about us than we want most to even know?”
Jool: “We’re dead for sure.”
John: “Hey, at least I didn’t mention our specific profiles. You know, you’re an ex-PeaceKeeper, Rygel’s throne was stolen from him, Moya is an escaped prisoner ship…I’m Mr. Unique. Come on, Aeryn. Have a little fun!”
Stark: “So what’s with the repetitious phrase: ‘Where Danger Lurks, We do not Venture’? That isn’t entirely true.”
[John, Chiana, and D’Argo glance at each other with raised eyebrows.]
D’Argo: [Glances around with his eyes.] “It sounded cool.”
Chiana: [With energy.] “Yeah!”
John: “If you say it enough, it’ll come true, right guys?” [Chiana and D’Argo nod in agreement.]
Aeryn: “I’m living with a complete fahrbot crew.” [John gives her a hug out of the blue and Aeryn smiles.] “What’s that saying of yours, John? Something about beating up people?”
John: “Oh! If you can’t beat them, then join them. That it honey?”
Aeryn: [Smiles warmly.] “Yes. If I can’t beat you, then I’ll join you. Cheers.” [Holds up flask and the entire group does the same. The crew laughs and drinks together regardless of the fact that an entire Command Carrier of PeaceKeepers just docked outside the Stand for a night of relaxation. No worries—nobody even notices them!]
*****
Strange, what exactly is going on with the crew these days, huh? Well, at least at the Stand, there’s no killing, dying, or flat beer! So Farscape has turned darker this season. Maybe that’s part of the major plot. Or maybe someone thinks that’s what people want these days. With the way life is going and always has, I think we need happiness and fun to take our minds off the darkness, death, and destruction. Funny all that starts with the letter d...like doom, depression, Delvian.…Sigh.
That’s it for two weeks, Scapers! Don’t forget to stop by the Stand to see this edition the way it’s meant to be viewed—with illustration and things like italics. Also, check out the FNS Specials for a few top 5 lists I’ve compiled. Enjoy!
www.oocities.org/fellipnectarstand
www.oocities.org/fanficawards2002