Author:
LeatherGirl
Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape or anything associated
with Farscape and all those who make the show happen. Frell.
Say
Bad LeatherGirl everyone. She’s
supposed to be writing SERIOUS fan fiction at the moment. But no, what does she do? Go and write comedic dren for her weekly
edition of FNS. Bad LeatherGirl.
*****
[The
crew walks, er stumbles into the bare Fellip Nectar Stand, with dreamy faces
and quenching thirsts. John rests on
D’Argo’s shoulder as D'Argo rests on Pilot’s arm and Pilot in return rests on
Rygel’s throne sled and Rygel tags behind Chiana who is unconscious over
Aeryn’s shoulders. Jool walks behind
the crew with a confident look of soberness.
Moya and Talyn lie still outside the stand, hoping their hangovers from
vacation will go away as soon as possible.
Jool travels to the bar to order some water and hangover pills while the
rest of the crew take their seats at the usual booth.]
John” [Mutters as he rests his aching head on the
table.] “Hey, look at that. The booth’s still here, the stand’s still
here, and Rygel’s still hungry.”
Rygel: [Shakes head slowly.] “Hmph.
I only said my third stomach growled.
Three stomachs would be bad, but one, not a problem.”
D’Argo: [Speaks in loudest voice as possible at this
time.] “Jool, the yellow pills, not the
red ones. The yellow ones are best for
hangovers.”
Jool: [Distant voice.] “Yeah, yeah.”
Aeryn: [Winces as she supports unconscious Chiana
on her left shoulder.] “D’Argo, not so
loud.”
John: “Well, at least we got rid of Crais,
Scorpius, and that Ka’ru guy. I thought
after last night, we’d never see the end of them.”
Pilot: [Rubs eyes with a claw.] “That was the most I’ve ever consumed since
Moya received her pain medication. How
long did we actually stay at the Big Bangalow anyway?”
John: [Raises head but squints eyes against the
quite dim light in the stand.] “Why
didn’t we ever go there before, Pilot?
I’ve been here nearly three cycles.
All that dren we went through and we could have been relaxing at the Big
Bangalow? Is there anything else I
should know?”
Rygel: “Chiana’s pregnant with D’Argo’s child.”
[John
springs his head up as D’Argo glares at Rygel.
Aeryn turns her head to look with interest. Pilot shakes his head, nearly knocking Aeryn in the head.]
D’Argo: “What!”
John: [Holds head.] “Ow!”
Aeryn: [With anger.] “Pilot, watch it!”
Rygel: [Laughs.]
“Kidding. Kidding. You people should be relaxed by now. I sure am.
I can’t remember the last time only one of my stomachs growled. I won’t have to eat for another couple arns
yet.”
[Jool
approaches table with several flasks of water on a tray. She sets the flasks down and presents the
yellow pills for the crew. Everyone
grabs the pills and swallows them, chasing the pills down with water.]
Jool: [Shakes head.] “I honestly don’t know how you guys manage to drink so
often. I could handle vats more alcohol
than you all combined from last night.”
[All
of a sudden, a flash brightens the center of the stand. A glowing aura begins to pulsate and grow
above the dance floor. The bartender exits through the storage facility while
the crew with hangovers cover their eyes.
Jool screams in fright and the aura diminishes quickly, disappearing as
instantly as it appeared. Jool looks
back to the crew who now has their ears covered in pain. They glare at her and then uncover their
ears.]
Aeryn: “What the frell was the purpose of that?”
[Before
anyone can answer, a drenload of Scapers enter into the stand, ready to have a
good time. The bartender reappears to
serve them.]
John: “Hey, haven’t seen Scapers here for a
while.”
Pilot: “I think I see NIBB…oh, and there’s
EowynAeryn. And isn’t that? Yes it’s player.”
Jool: [Searches through crowd with her eyes.] “What are they?” [Points to a group of Scapers barely dressed and dancing onto the
bar.]
D’Argo: [In awe.]
“The Shameless Hussie Posse.”
Rygel: “With all the societies there have been
amongst those obsessed creatures, you’d think they’d have one to help me
reclaim my throne.” [Grunts and takes
another drink of his water.]
Aeryn: “As long as they leave us alone….” [Aeryn begins but is cut off.]
Scaper: “Hey!
The crew is here! Everyone, come
look!”
[The
crowd begins to buzz, the noise again hurting the crew’s ears. They groan, trying to hide their faces as if
the Scapers wouldn’t see them. The
Scapers begin to rush towards the crew, their needy fingers wriggling and their
mouths drooling. Jool opens her mouth,
realizing a scream as their only defense.]
Familiar
Voice: [Yells.] “Wait!”
[Everybody
in the bar stops and turns around. The
person who yelled was none other than John Crichton, standing at the doorway to
the stand. The Scapers shout excitedly
and most of them rush towards the door.
The crew seated at the booth is forgotten momentarily. The John rushes out the door and is
flattened by the rage of charging Scapers, disappearing into the dark matter of
space. The Scapers who didn’t charge
resumed to the bar, to get something to drink now that the main mob had
dissipated and there was more room.]
John: “So that’s what happens to my clone.”
Aeryn: [Snorts.]
“Ha! You’d like that, wouldn’t
you? Less competition.”
D’Argo: “Frell, I wanted to see the Shameless Hussie
Posse.” [Aeryn kicks him under the
table.] “Ow! What was that for?”
Aeryn: “Chiana would have wanted me to do it.”
Rygel: “Ugh!
All this loyalty dren is making me hungry. I think I’ll carry on my activities at the bar thank you very
much.” [Rygel hovers off to the bar.]
Pilot: [Shakes head, once again nearly knocking
Aeryn out.] “I’m going to go find
LeatherGirl. She mentioned something
about a destination story or something she wanted my expertise on.” [Pilot makes way to the bar as well.]
Jool: “I’m going to find a Dren chamber.” [Leaves both and instantly slips on the
floor and shrieks. Both John and D’Argo
laugh as she gets up to glare at them.
She then stalks off.]
John: “I hope she meant the bathroom.” [Aeryn glances at John in question, not
quite understanding the word.]
[They
remain silent for a moment, observing the Scapers happily drinking and mingling
amongst themselves. They have seemingly
forgotten about the crew at the moment.]
D’Argo: “It’s nice to be back.”
Aeryn: “I feel refreshed and ready to kick some
major dren.” [Stretches fingers out
before her. John and D’Argo glance at
her with peculiar expressions.]
John: “Yep, the stand may not seem the same. We’re still changing and Aeryn has finally
begun to talk like me. I’m beginning to
like this place more and more.” [Leans
back with a smile and rests hands behind head.]
D’Argo: [Shouts.]
“John, look out!”
Aeryn: [Reaches out to catch John.] “John, behind you!”
[John
leans too far back, flipping over the back of his seat and landing into the lap
of Scorpius. Chiana wakes up and
glances around at the chaos beginning to play before her. D’Argo unsheathes his Qualta Blade while
Aeryn produces her pulse pistol.
Several familiar looking Scapers are approaching them from the bar. Rygel is laughing at the bar with a few
Scapers and eating a huge plate of Hynerian Mojules. And worst of all, Scorpius has John on his lap.]
Chiana: [Sits up and smiles.] “Wow, what have I missed?”
*****
Wow,
here we’re back to a normal edition of FNS.
And the new episodes are back!!!
YEAH!! What more could we ask
for? To see the rest of the season in
one day would be nice. Okay, okay, I’ll
be realistic. To see the rest of the
season in TWO days. Gotta watch them
twice to really let things sink in ya know!
Take care and here’s a Raslac to the second wave of Farscape episodes
for the season!!!
www.oocities.org/fellipnectarstand
www.oocities.org/fanficawards2002