THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND Super Edition 3.5: Let’s Draw Straws
Author: LeatherGirl
Disclaimer: I do not own
Farscape or anything associated with Farscape.
Web Site: http://www.oocities.org/fellipnectarstand
Author’s Note: With a
slightly new format, I have written this super edition with two different
settings to deal with both crews and current issues burning away at Scapers.
*****
Setting: The Fellip Nectar Stand
*
[John T and Aeryn are making out amongst the fog of Drexim in a
vat near the Storage Facility. Crais
and Talyn are seated at the oversized booth with Stark and Rygel, drinking
Raslacs.]
Crais: “I told you
already…I killed her. I shot her
several times and made sure she wasn’t twitching or anything. She’s dead already, believe me! I’ve been trying to clean out my clothing
for a weeken now.”
Stark: [Crinkles
face.] “That has to be the most
inconsiderate, disgusting thing I have ever heard.”
Rygel: “I don’t know: you
and Zhaan often had inconsiderate, disgusting things to discuss in her
quarters.” [Shakes head and drinks from
his flask.]
Stark: [Ignores
Rygel.] “I cannot fathom how Xhalax Sun
could be such a cold, heartless soul.
Guiding her into the afterlife would not have been a day on a Pleasure
Planet.”
Crais: “It’s in our
blood. We like being merciless. I don’t give you my extra rationings of my
Fluffables, now do I?”
Rygel: [Laughs
heartily.] “You wouldn’t have to…I
found your stash last night and helped myself!”
[John T and Aeryn approach the booth, looking quite
satisfied. John T orders a Uniflask of
Tyla for him and Aeryn. They take a
seat and smile at the others, who try not to make eye contact with them.]
John T: “That was
absolutely the best damned frelling experience I have ever had!” [Smacks a kiss on Aeryn’s cheek. Aeryn smiles back.]
Rygel: [In disgust.] “Please, Crais, end my misery before it’s
too late.” [Crais reaches for his
weapon.]
Stark: “No more
killing!” [Ushers Crais to retreat.]
Aeryn: “I wonder how the
others are doing on Moya now.”
John T: “Hey, are you
thinking about him again?” [Looks at
Aeryn with jealousy. Aeryn smiles and
kisses him warmly on the cheek.]
Aeryn: “Can you blame me?”
Stark: “Ugh, just what we
need. The three of them together.”
Rygel: “Please, I don’t
even want to think of that right now.
I’ve been starving since I ate everything while we were stuck near that
Siren Sun last weeken. I want to keep
up my appetite. I’ve already got a
plate of Mojules on their way!”
Crais: [Leans forward
angrily.] “You should have ordered some
for the rest of us you inconsiderate little drannit!”
John T: [Accents each
word.] “Again, what the frell is a
drannit???”
Aeryn: “Well, you see…”
[Four-armed waitress brings Rygel’s order of Mojules to the
table. Rygel instantly gulfs down
several squirming Mojules at once while the others look on in disgust.]
John T: “Snails would
taste better than Mojules.”
Aeryn: “So would Hynerian
Donkey Dren.”
[Both look to each other and laugh.]
Stark: [Solemnly.] “Do you think the others on Moya have run
into Scorpius or a PeaceKeeper Retrieval Squad?”
Crais: “Well, I do have to
wonder which of you Crichton’s will go first.”
Rygel: [Snorts.] “You should see all the speculations on the
Sci-Fi bboard. The Scapers are delving
into madness trying to figure out which Crichton will die, how he will die, and
even if one of the frelling clones will die! If you ask me, I’d say get rid of them both!”
John T: “Ah, but
Buckwheat. You’d miss me terribly
so! Who else promises you all the
Mojules you could eat in exchange for crawling into small spaces to do all the
dirty work?”
Rygel: “Crais, perhaps you
should use that pulse pistol and resolve the Crichton clone dilemma right
now!” [Glares at John T.]
Aeryn: [In a serious
tone.] “You know, John on Moya could
already be dead.” [Crew remains silent
for a moment. Talyn, who has been enjoying
a vat of Pilot’s Leviathan Concoction Number 4, begins to bleep wildly.]
Crais: “Talyn, settle
down! Your mother will be fine.”
Talyn: “Bleepity Bleep!”
Crais: [In warning
tone.] “Talyn.”
Aeryn: “Talyn, it’s going
to be all right. Moya can take care of
herself. She has a good crew to guide
her and an excellent Pilot. You’ll be
reunited with her before you know it.”
Talyn: [Calmly.] “Bleep Bleep.”
Crais: [Smiles.] “You always know how to calm down a gunship,
don’t you Aeryn?”
Aeryn: [Smiles back.] “I’m good with men.”
John T: [Slightly
jealous.] “Hey.” [Aeryn turns and gives him a playful nudge
with her elbow. John smiles back and
wraps his arms around her shoulders and hugs her.]
[Four-armed waitress brings the steaming Uniflask of Tyla to the
table for John T and Aeryn.]
Crais: [Rolls eyes.] “Maybe we should get another booth.”
Rygel: “Please, before my
appetite is spoiled.”
Talyn: “BLEEP!”
Stark: “Ha! That’s for sure, Talyn.”
Crais: “You understood
him?”
Stark: “I did bond with
him just recently, remember? I
understand him perfectly!”
[The four begin to leave the booth, as John T and Aeryn are
already deeply involved with each other and the Uniflask. As they travel to the next booth, they
ponder about the other crew on Moya once more.]
Rygel: “We should take
wagers on which Crichton we’ll get rid of.
I just hope it’s sooner than later…the human can be frelling annoying.”
Stark: [Nods in
agreement.] “I agree in a way. He’s almost as insane as I am.” [Giggles at that moment, spooking the
others.] “Crichton one or Crichton two,
Crichton one or Crichton two, Cri….”
Crais: “Stop it
already! Talyn and I are about to go
insane ourselves with all you crazy inhabitants!”
Talyn: “Bleep bleep
bleepity bleep bleep.” [Crais nods in
agreement.]
Stark: “Talyn, I was only
trying to help Sierjna.”
Rygel: [Shakes head and
crawls into the next booth.] “I wonder
what Moya is up to now….”
**
Setting: The Big Bangalow
Cast: Pilot, Moya, John M, D’Argo, Chiana, Jool, and brief
appearance by Scorpius
*
[Jool and Chiana are on the blue sandy beach, trying to get a tan
from the three blazing suns above. John
M is watching the green ocean in silence, drinking a flask of Kylian Fectar
with D’Argo by his side. Scorpius is
sitting in an orange tinted tree near the Big Bangalow Bar, whistling the tune
“Tune From DD episode”. Pilot is seated
at the bar as well, drinking a flask of Amnexus Fluid while Moya settles in the
low sea grass nearby, taking a nap.]
John M: “Bored, bored,
bored! I never thought I’d have a day,
let alone an entire monen, to sit around or even think.”
D’Argo: [Picks up his
flask sluggishly, as he already has had several drinks this fine day.] “John, my friend, you think too much as it
is.” [Pats John M on the back.]
John M: “Well, I’ve been
thinking more in the realms of philosophical ways and woes of the Universe…you
know, the little stuff.”
Pilot: “Like what?”
John M: [Drinks from flask
and reacts with a twinge as alcohol stings his throat.] “There are two of me. Each of us is equal and original. So that means, we’ve both got the same
feelings, memories, and experiences, up to a certain point. Now that we’ve been separated, we’ll have
different feelings, memories, and experiences.
That will separate our personalities indefinitely and perhaps provide
different view points…which I guess could be beneficial…but when it comes to
Aeryn…”
D’Argo: “Ah man! You’re still wallowing over her? Get over it, my friend. She’s with him and that’s final. There is a lot of beautiful woman out there,
John, believe me.” [Smiles to himself.]
John M: [Shakes head and
turns back to Pilot.] “I feel like I’m
in a Choose Your Own Adventure Story.
Some evil mastermind is toying with my life and deciding with the magic
eight ball where my future will lead next.
He’s probably out there right now, staring into that eight ball and
wondering…what would John look like in thigh-high nylons? I shiver at the thought.”
D’Argo: [Shakes his head
this time.] “Nigh Lons? That’s a creature on this moon near my home
that….”
Pilot: “D’Argo, please,
I’m deeply interested in John’s theory here.”
John M: “Thank you
Pilot. Who will get the ax? John on Talyn…or me? I know we both feel we would die for Aeryn
so if her life were threatened, we’d both be goners. And I know we both have an obsession with wormholes that is more
deadly than a vacation with Scorpius, but we’re pretty good at escaping
danger. Then I got to thinking…maybe
neither of us dies. We live forever,
fighting for Aeryn’s honor. Or maybe
I’m the clone and I’m slowly degrading, like a Styrofoam cup in a landfill.”
Pilot: “You not only talk
too much, you think too much as well.”
[John M picks up his flask and heads over to join Jool and Chiana
on the beach. Scorpius hops off the
tree and follows at a pace behind. Jool
and Chiana are currently arguing over the Daily Uncharted Territorial Gossip
Column.]
John M: “Girls, we’re out
of luck.” [Takes a seat on the warm
sand beside Chiana and looks over at the two, who are in mid-pose of grasping
either end of the tablet they are fighting over.]
Chiana: “What are you
talking about?” [Chiana gives a tug but
Jool quickly retaliates and tugs back.]
John M: “I pulled the
shortest straw.”
Jool: [With frustration
in her voice as Chiana appears to win the battle.] “And that means???”
[Flies backwards into the sand as Chiana gets hold of the tablet and
happily places it underneath her eema for reading later on.]
John M: “I got the dren
end of the deal.” [Jool opens her mouth
to respond.]
Chiana: “He’s saying that
we’re all basically frelled and meanwhile, life on Talyn couldn’t be
merrier…especially where Aeryn’s concerned.”
[John M gives Chiana a look.]
Jool: “What does it matter
anyway? We may never meet up with Talyn
and the others again and we’ll probably all die because of your stupid
wormholes anyway. Enjoy the sun while
you can.” [Leans back onto the sand and
closes her eyes to enjoy the heat.]
John M: [Notes Scorpius
sitting a ways down the beach, staring and grinning.] “Girls, I’d love to stay and chat but I’ve have to have a few
words with that nasty dude in leather.”
[Chiana leans back onto the sand as well, barely noticing John
stand up to leave. Jool and Chiana both
remain silent as he waits for them to ask him to stay. He sighs and continues on down the beach to
talk with Scorpius.]
Scorpius: [Smiles with a
huge, bug infested grin.] “John, so nice
to see you again!”
John M: “Ha! I’ve heard that one before.”
Scorpius: “We have much to
discuss.”
John M: “When did you get
the hint that we were friends anyway?
We have nothing to discuss.”
Scorpius: “I may not have
had a nice childhood but I know an ally when I see one.”
John M: “And I’m supposed
to understand what you mean by that?”
Scorpius: “Do you not
remember…oh yes…that was another John.”
John M: [Perks up.] “You’ve talked with my clone? When?
Where? Was Aeryn okay?”
Scorpius: [Shakes his
head.] “You really do need to stop
thinking so much.”
John M: “Get on with it.”
Scorpius: “Having two of
you has its advantages, you know.
You’ve already seen the benefits of being in two places at once. Was your clone not nearly killed recently
and you came to his defense and saved all those concerned?”
John M: “Frosted Wheaties have two sides, one plain, one frosted. So what’s your point?”
Scorpius: “One of you could
return home while the other stays here in the Uncharted Territories, exploring
new worlds and pleasures.”
John M: [Makes a buzzard
sound.] “Won’t work, Scorpy. We both want the same thing: Aeryn.”
Scorpius: “But you must
ask yourself this: after all the experiences you both have during your time
apart, which will be more focused on what?
Aeryn or wormholes? This is what
I leave with you to contemplate until I find a much more pressing matter to
torture you with.”
John M: “Oh well, at least
you’re being up front about it. You
always beat around the bush until now.”
Scorpius: “Beat around the
bush? Is that some sort of ritual?”
John M: “No, but I think
Beat around the evil villain would be a much better one.”
[Scorpius snarls and then disappears. John M turns back to meet up with his friends once more.]
D’Argo: [Meets John M
halfway to Jool and Chiana.] “John,
there’s only one more vat of alcohol left before one of us will have to go in
search of more supplies.”
John M: [Smiles and turns
to D’Argo with a twinkle in his eye.]
“Wanna draw straws?”
*****
As you may have noticed, the
format of the FNS is changing slightly.
I want to give it more of a script look and make it easier to explain
things, like where the setting is and who is all at the setting, etc. I will also begin noting the web address at
the beginning of the editions as well as noting a preview of the next edition
at the end of editions. I have to laugh
at all the speculations regarding which John will get it and how. I’m just going to wait and see what TPTB
will surprise us with. It’s usually so
clever and never done before and that’s what I love about Farscape! I have a few announcements to make now so
please bear with me.
*NEXT EDITION: The next edition of FNS will be a special
edition dealing with ScaperCon 2001 and the Farscape Characters on a visit
there. *
ANNOUNCMENTS:
**The FNS Word Play Challenge is
almost over! Get your entries in by
Monday, July 23rd! http://www.oocities.org/fellipnectarstand/challenge.html **
**There will be no editions of
the FNS for the entire month of August.
I will be traveling or extremely busy and nowhere near a computer. On another note, I will be posting classic
editions at some point in the near future.
Just to refresh your minds/souls and gain new readers. **
**The FanFic Resource Center
still needs contributions…mainly advice for Farscape fan fiction and general
comments on things like Beta-Readers, Web Site Archives, Publishing on the web,
and disclaimers. Heck, send me some
disclaimers you’ve found or have written that you think are hilarious! Contact me at my web site. **
**Due to low feedback and
frustration, I am pondering whether to continue posting FNS editions on this
bb. I may still post considering I want
the creators of the show to see them.
What I may do instead, for those of you who I know can’t get to my site
and usually like to see the editions on the bb, I am offering something
new. I am considering starting an email
list to send editions to you personally through email each week. Let me know what you think. **