THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND Edition 3.6: Bigger than an Ice Cream Headache

Author: LeatherGirl

Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape or anything associated with Farscape.

FNS Regulars Info: http://www.oocities.org/fellipnectarstand/regulars.html

*****

Setting: The Black Hole Disco Rave

Characters: John, Aeryn, D’Argo, Rygel, Chiana, Jool, Crais, Talyn, and Moya

**

[All characters are spinning, twirling, and drinking the night away at the passing by Black Hole Disco Rave near the Fellip Nectar Stand. (Don’t worry! The Black Hole isn’t that strong…it’s only taking the bad music, alcohol, and aliens with it!) Everyone is drinking glow-in-the-dark shrellups in assorted colors within flasks shaped like three bubbles zapped together. Chiana, Jool, and Rygel are beyond wasted while the others are much more concerned with issues at hand.]

D’Argo: [Ducks as Moya swirls by uncontrollably and rather intoxicated.] “Hey! Watch where you’re going!” [Turns to John and others nearby.] “The Great Drought of 2001 has finally arrived and I’m already frelling sick of it.”

Crais: [Nods with a stern expression.] “I agree. There are many changes happening and I, for one, am quite intolerant of all this dren!”

Aeryn: [Shakes head as she takes a sip of her blue shrellup.] “Relax while you can. The PeaceKeepers may be in a galaxy near you.”

John: [Smiles and looks to Aeryn but she does not look back. He realizes she wasn’t being comical.] “Hey, we’ve got great things going for us this time, guys! Re-runs, an explosion of new fanfics…hopefully some that can better our situations…the FanFic Awards, gnawing anticipation of the Final Four episodes in January….”

Crais: [Tilts head as he sips from his orange illuminated drink.] “Janu Ari?”

John: “Forget it. Just think of the incredulous celeb birthday parties the Scapers will be throwing us this fall. Damn. And then there’s the UK. They get to see season three now. Ooooh! And there’s Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s to celebrate!!!” [Gulps down almost entire red drink.]

[D’Argo, Aeryn, and Crais shake their heads and groan. John shrugs his shoulders and continues to finish his drink.]

D’Argo: “We’ve tried training him but old habits seem to die rough.”

John: “Die HARD, D’Argo. Die hard!” [Walks off amongst a raving group of young Nebari and dances his way to the Nebula Bar for another round of drinks.]

Aeryn: “Old habits are a gift.” [Says matter-of-factly and walks into the raving crowd.]

Crais: [Looks to D’Argo.] “Is it me, or has she changed recently?”

D’Argo: [Watches crowd and nods.] “She has changed her shampoo.”

[Two drink in silence. Chiana, Jool, and Rygel dance over to the two, giggling and screeching with excitement. Jool nearly spills all of her purple drink on Crais’ lap as she swoops by.]

Rygel: “What are you two pathetic souls lounging around here for?”

Chiana: “Come on men! Let’s party!”

Jool: “Shrellups’ on me, boys.” [Spills drink on herself and bats eye lashes. Others try to ignore her.]

Chiana: [Suddenly stops dancing and straightens with a look of seriousness on her face.] “What was that?”

D’Argo: “What?” [He nearly knocks Rygel off his throne sled with his tendrils as he turns to look.]

Crais: “Go away, Chiana. You’re bad fortune.”

Chiana: “Frell.” [Drops blue flask.] “He’s here.”

[The others look into the raving crowd and the spinning flashing stardust particles surrounding them to find nothing but happy souls. Chiana remains on guard, causing D’Argo to grow uneasy and lift up his Qualta Blade in precaution. This abrupt action startles Rygel into toppling over the back of his throne sled and onto the floor face first. Jool slips over Rygel as she dances and her hair becomes caught under the feet of a few Scapers dancing past. Crais bends over to help the screaming girl and just when you thought all hell had already broken loose…well, guess again.]

Chiana: [Points forward into the crowd.] “Crichton! Watch out!”

[Crowd parts straight down the path Chiana is pointing to where John is standing at the bar with Aeryn beside him. Aeryn finally notices John and then the threat approaching him. Chiana dives forward as does D’Argo. Crais, Jool, and Rygel try to untangle themselves off the floor to help. Aeryn reaches for her pulse pistol and backs away, aiming behind John. John widens his eyes in fright and instinctively ducks for cover, though he has no frelling clue of what is threatening him. Talyn and Moya fly by and try to shield John as well. The many Scapers inhabiting the Black Hole Disco Rave scatter and disappear—hey, some accidentally fell into the Black Hole and that’s why I didn’t name ‘em this time!]

Jool: “I’m coming!”

Crais: “Talyn, fire!”

Rygel: “Not now!”

Aeryn: “Frell me!”

Chiana: “I warned you!”

D’Argo: “Every frelling time…”

John: “Why me?!”

[The unidentifiable frelling objection approaches John with intense rage. Hurtling in from the opposite end of the Black Hole Disco Rave, the UFO blasts its way towards John Crichton. There is nothing anyone can do. Impact is imminent.]

KAPOW!

[John wakes to find his fellow crewmates staring down at him. He rolls around the spilled shrellups littered on the floor and sits up with D’Argo’s help.]

John: [Rubs forehead sorely.] “Frell. What happened?”

Chiana: “A huge mass of frozen Ryka smacked you in the head. Feeling better?”

John: “Gee, thanks for the warning Pip. An ice cream headache doesn’t even measure up to the one I’ve got now.” [Rubs head once again.]

Aeryn: “Do you attract dangerous phenomenon?” [Shakes head and walks away. John stands with D’Argo’s help.]

John: “So what is frozen Ryka anyway? It sure didn’t feel too good on the old noggin.”

Rygel: [Chuckles.] “Budong Piss.”

*****

Well, I haven’t been on the scifi bboard in ages and I don’t know when I’ll get the time to lurk there besides posting these editions. This Fall has really become hectic. I’m thinking of writing a four-part series like I did last year but I don’t know if it’ll happen. At least I will try to get weekly editions of the Fellip Nectar Stand out. :) I hope the bb, er the Scapers that inhabit it, have been good to you all. The Fractures episode had to be the best one yet…especially the end and I really have to question Aeryn’s motives now. But damn I can’t wait to the final four of this season…it should be more explosive and enthralling than any old action movie! Later Scapers!