THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND Birthday Edition: Anthony Simcoe

By: LeatherGirl

Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape or anything associated with Farscape. This edition is dedicated to Anthony Simcoe and his character, D’Argo. I borrow these two amazing beings as fictional characters and only that. Have an excellent birthday, Anthony and thank you so much for bringing D’Argo to life like no other person in this world can.

Brief Introductory: The Fellip Nectar Stand is a fictional bar in the Uncharted Territories where the Farscape crew along with enemies and friends alike go to sit back, relax, and down a flask or two of Fellip Nectar and other choice beverages. Unfortunately due to circumstances regarding extreme need of relaxation, the Farscape crew has decided to take a vacation from the Fellip Nectar Stand and hang out at the Big Bangalow. The Big Bangalow is a tropical-like vacation spot in the center of the universe with a bar and a huge beach. Enjoy!

*****

[The Farscape crew is all patiently awaiting the guest of honor at the Big Bangalow. (Yes, they are still on a break from the Fellip Nectar Stand!) They have decided to cool off in the big green ocean since the three blazing suns in the sky have decided not to set for three days now. John, Aeryn, Jool, Chiana, and D’Argo are in the water while Crais, Stark, and Scorpius lay on the beach for a tan. Rygel and Pilot are seated at the Big Bangalow shack, enjoying their automatic flasks that refill themselves. (Hey…even the bartender deserves a break!). There are strings upon strings of purplish-lit lanterns hanging above the pink tinted sand of the beach. They’re tied to the orange stalk trees that are waving gently in the breeze. Yep, another beautiful day.]

Chiana: [Giggles and spurts water out of her mouth.] “Are you sure he didn’t get lost?”

[Her question goes unanswered as the others enjoy the water a little too much. D’Argo swims underneath Jool and tugs her foot. Jool screams and races for the shore while John and Aeryn laugh. D’Argo surfaces with a huge smile.]

D’Argo: “I love this place.”

Jool: [Shouts from shore.] “Why the frell did you do that?”

John: “Oh, sorry. I was just telling D’Argo about this movie on Earth, called Jaws. You’d love it, really.” [John smirks. Aeryn splashes water in his face and dives underneath the water. John searches around wildly and is suddenly pulled under.]

Jool: “Augh!”

D’Argo: “Relax, Jool. He’s just….” [D’Argo suddenly disappears from view. Jool freaks even more.]

Stark: [Raises head up from lying on the sand to get a tan.] “Jool, you’re giving me a headache, please.”

Crais: [Sits up beside Stark and squints as he looks up at the Interon.] “Sit down already. You’re blocking my second and third sun.”

[Jool shifted over with a pout on her face. Stark clears his throat and Jool moves even further over. She trips over Crais’ feet and lands nearly on top of Scorpius. Scorpius growls at her and she shuffles away. Jool stands, brushes herself off and heads for the shack to get a drink.]

Crais: “As to your question regarding Anthony’s arrival, I’m sure Talyn won’t be late. He’s a very punctual little gunship.” [Crais smiles at the thought of Talyn. He is still reddened from the last tan he received.]

Scorpius: [He has a circle of ice chunks around his thermal swimsuit but he still is enjoying the sun rays.] “What takes humans so long to get to an engagement anyway? Every birthday bash I’ve been to, the guest of honor is never on time. If it were my choice, I would deal with the tardiness so that it is certain to never happen again.”

Chiana: [Comes onto beach from water and lays down beside the others.] “Relax, Scorpy. No one’s ever invited you to one of these things anyway. You just tag along because John’s here.”

[John, Aeryn, and D’Argo enter onto the shore, laughing and dripping wet. They plop down besides the sunbathers to enjoy a few rays themselves.]

Crais: [Shields face.] “Watch it! This lotion does not tolerate water.”

John: [Raises an eyebrow.] “You know, you should really think about some down time in the shade, Crais. I’d hate to see you with a sudden case of skin cancer.”

Aeryn: “Well, now that we’re all here, where’s Anthony?” [Aeryn looks to D’Argo. She spreads on her skin some heat-deflecting lotion Stark prepared especially for the Sebaceans of the group.]

D’Argo: [Laying flat with his eyes closed.] “How should I know? It’s not like we have some special connection or anything…we just look a little alike.”

John: [Shakes head.] “Whatever, D. Hey, Ryge! Bring some Raslacs will ya?” [John shouts to Rygel.]

Rygel: [Raises chin.] “Ha! Nice try. There’s no way I’m going to go over there and get thrown into that frelling ocean again.” [Wriggles out some water still soaking his eyebrows. Pilot laughs at Rygel and gathers some drinks for the sun bathers.]

[As Pilot brings over an assortment of drinks, Talyn and Moya appear in the horizon, fast approaching. They come to a rest hovering above a nearby sand dune. Talyn’s external door opens and Anthony hops out in excitement. It’s not often a human gets to ride in a hybrid gunship or even exit his solar system for that matter. He rushes over to the Farscape crew and accepts a flask of Fellip Nectar from Pilot. Anthony then nestles himself down beside Chiana. Jool and Rygel come over as well so that the gift giving can begin.]

John: “It’s about time, Anthony. What took you so long?”

Anthony: [Tilts head with a dreamy smile.] “Well, I thought since I was getting a free ride through the universe, I’d have Talyn and Moya take me on a sight seeing tour.”

John: [Sits up on an elbow.] “Really? Damn, they never did that for Ben. What did you see?”

Anthony: “Let’s see….” [Raises up his hand to count on his fingers.] “We saw the outside of the Milky Way. Then we starburst to the Charted Territories to take a look at all the organized systems…I especially liked the Luxan colonies. D’Argo, you don’t know what you’re missing. Then we traveled to the Uncharted Territories and saw the Flax…Moya teased the pirates into thinking she was stuck and at the last minute, starburst away and knocked those pirates silly. That was great…oh, and then we went to the Fellip Nectar Stand for a quick drink…there was hardly anyone there. Except for that four-armed waitress…she gave us each a shot of Kylian Fectar. I’m still buzzing!” [Anthony smiles at his audience, ignoring their unimpressed expressions.]

Rygel: “Can we get on with this already? I don’t know how much longer my gift for you is going to last.”

Anthony: [Turns and pats Rygel’s head. Rygel zooms out of his reach.] “Whatchya get me, Rygel?”

Chiana: [Rolls her eyes.] “Probably something he’ll end up snurching later. Don’t even bother opening it.”

[Rygel hands Anthony a lumpy, greasy package and zooms back to the Big Bangalow shack. Anthony rips open the tough wrapping and reveals his gift. The onlookers hold their noses in disgust.]

Anthony: “Ah, thanks, I think. What *is* it?” [Wrinkles nose in disgust at the yellowish dripping cubes nestled in the wrapping paper.]

Rygel: [Calls from the shack.] “Food cubes, what else? Thought you’d like to try them but if not, I’d be glad to take them back.”

[Anthony shakes head. Chiana gives him a rather small gift. He smiles at her and proceeds to open the gift. Nestled within a few fronds of orange leaves is a small container holding a rather peculiar smelling clear cream. Chiana smiles and kisses Anthony on the cheek. D’Argo clears his throat as he sees the two look at each other. Both Chiana and Anthony look away.]

Anthony: “Ah, thanks, Chiana. It’s great.”

Chiana: “It’s a cream to soothe your skin after wearing make-up all day.”

Jool: [Puzzled.] “Make-up? He doesn’t wear...oh.” [Figures out that D’Argo and Anthony are one and the same.]

Crais: [Shoves a poorly wrapped gift towards Anthony.] “Here, this is from Scorpius, Talyn, and I.”

[Anthony scoops up the gift and out tumbles a holo-chip. Curious, Anthony activates the chip to see a swirling map of the Uncharted Territories before him. He and the others gasp in wonder.]

Anthony: “Thanks! This is great. I never would have thought to get something like this from you guys.”

Scorpius: [Through clenched teeth.] “It was Talyn’s idea. I had no choice in the matter.”

Aeryn: [Smiles at Anthony.] “Well, my gift to you is a lesson in basic PeaceKeeper hand to hand combat. It’s an essential out here.”

Anthony: [Nods in approval.] “Hey, thanks. I’m getting to like this place better and better!”

John: [Narrows eyes.] “Hey, watch it.” [Then smiles.] “I have a simple gift only a human could really understand and enjoy. Close your eyes and count to 20 will ya?”

D’Argo: “Hey, that’s easy. Let me teach you a good way…one mippippippi, two mippippippi….”

[Anthony gives D’Argo a strange look and shakes his head. John runs behind the shack and disappears for a moment. Then, he comes back, pushing a huge cylindrical shaped frosted white cake. Anthony stands up with a huge smile.]

Anthony: “A cake! I love it. Let me guess, somebody jumps out to surprise me?”

John: “Yeah, well a certain somebody didn’t feel like hiding inside a cake all day.” [Glances towards Chiana who pretends not to hear him.] “Just take a sampling of the frosting, man. You’ll never go back to chocolate again.”

[Anthony dips his finger into the white frosting and takes a lick. His face brightens and he looks to John.]

Anthony: “What the frell is that? It’s amazing!”

Jool: [Crosses her arms tiredly.] “John made me make this stuff called Fluffables Frosting. It took a really long time so you better like it.”

Anthony: [Cringes for a moment and leans over to whisper to D’Argo.] “I hope there isn’t any surprises of another kind in there.”

D’Argo: [Whispers back.] “Don’t worry, we’re going to give her a hair cut as soon as possible.”

[Anthony and D’Argo laugh while Pilot comes over to give Anthony the gift he and Moya have gotten for him.]

Pilot: “Here is a chip containing the entire trip you took throughout the universe on your way here. All the souvenir photos you took at all the tourist traps are included.”

Anthony: [Nods head.] “Not bad, not bad. I don’t think I’ll be starting a scrap book anytime soon, but thanks, Pilot and Moya.”

D’Argo: “Last but not least, I present my gift to you.” [Hands Anthony a small carved wooden box.]

Chiana: “D’Argo, did you carve that yourself?” [Sits up in appreciation of the fancy woodwork design around the outside of the box. The others lean forward in awe. D’Argo blushes.]

Rygel: [Can be heard from the shack.] “Ha! What did I tell you? He always gives them something carved…always!”

Anthony: “It’s beautiful, D’Argo. Thanks.”

D’Argo: “There’s more inside. I wish I could have given you my Qualta Blade, because I know you would have loved it, but I kind of need it.”

Anthony: “I understand, man, I completely understand.”

[Anthony proceeds to lift open the cover and smiles at the gift inside. The rest of the onlookers groan and turn back to their sun bathing in disgust. Anthony picks up a wooden figurine from within the box and turns it around in his fingers. D’Argo had carved a miniature version of himself with a Qualta Blade in his arms. Anthony looks around at the others and then to D’Argo, forcing a smile. He has already seen the gifts D’Argo has given Ben and Loni for their birthdays.]

Anthony: “Thanks, D’Argo. Really, I mean it.” [D’Argo gives him a huge smile and then surprises him with a quick hug.] “Thanks everyone. I truly enjoyed everything you’ve given me. This has been one of the most amazing, out of my world birthdays I have ever had.”

Stark: “Wait, I didn’t give you my gift yet.” [Stark approaches Anthony empty-handed.]

Anthony: “Well, where is it?”

Stark: “It’s a message from Zhaan.”

[All turn to see Zhaan materialize before them with a radiant smile on her face. She approaches Anthony and bows her head. She presses her forehead to Anthony’s and they begin Unity. Only after a few microns, Anthony separates and Zhaan diminishes. Stark takes a seat back on the sand and the rest are left staring at a shocked but happy Anthony.]

John: [Nods his head with a chuckle.] “Yep. Definitely out of our world, my friend.”

[Anthony sits down with the rest of the crew to watch the three suns finely begin to set. D’Argo brings out his Shilquen to play some tunes. Pilot serves them drinks and Talyn fires colorful pulses of energy into the sky over the ocean. The partiers then decide to have a quick game of beach volleyball, UT style before they head to the shack for a night of drinking and joking around. All is well in the universe and Anthony has a wonderful birthday at the Big Bangalow.]

*****

Happy Birthday Anthony! I don’t know if your birthday will get as crazy as it does at the Big Bangalow but it doesn’t hurt to try! Have a good one!