Author:
LeatherGirl
Disclaimer:
I do not own Farscape or anything associated with Farscape. I make no profit whatsoever. I had no permission to use Claudia Black in this
ficlet so please, if you read this, Claudia, do not come after me with one of
those Pen-Tak Jabs. Youch! I’m just writing this in your honor. :)
Happy
Birthday chickwithgun!
Web
site: http://www.oocities.org/fellipnectarstand
If
you wanna understand how these editions work, read the introductory in the
Archive. :)
*****
Setting:
The Fellip Nectar Stand
Characters:
FS Crew, Claudia Black, some Scapers
**
[The
Fellip Nectar Stand is once again filled with party decorations ranging from
sparkling flashes of magnolights decorating the ceiling. A traditional spinning disco ball hangs
above the dance floor with Rygel hovering around it, trying to snurch an
occasional shiny mirror from it. The
bar is piled with various delicacies, UT and Earth originated. The taps are running full and the Stand
itself is quite busy this evening with every type of alien in the universe that
cares to drink.]
Chiana: [Frosts a blue cake with Jool at the usual
booth.] “Do you think she’ll like what
we’ve done? The other bashes we’ve had
always seemed to go horribly wrong.”
Jool: [Places hands on her hips, not realizing she
just smeared blue frosting on her new dress.]
“What, you haven’t foreseen the end of this party yet?”
[Chiana
glares at Jool and throws a sticky wad of frosting at her. Jool shrieks in shock as the frosting lands
in her hair. She in turn throws a chunk
of frosting at Chiana. The two then
engage in a frosting fight. GBBarb1 and
Xenajules2 happen past and join in on the fight.]
John: [Enters into Stand with a faltering pile of
gifts in his arms.] “You know, we
should really start inviting Ben, Anthony, Gigi…everyone else who has parties
here. I’d have a few guys on my side
finally.”
Aeryn: [Walks briskly past, nearly causing John to
drop all the gifts.] “Just what we need. More incompetent humans.”
[John
frowns at Aeryn and then places gifts on a table near the doorway. A group of giggling Scapers walk past and he
poses for them, smiling dashingly. The
Scapers continue to giggle and John frowns again as they pass him by. He turns to see D’Argo standing behind him,
holding up his hand. D’Argo quickly
lowers his hand and smiles sheepishly.]
John: [Rolls eyes.] “It’s two fingers, D.
Like this.” [Demonstrates the motion
and holds his fingers up behind his head like D’Argo had just done.]
D’Argo: “Come on, John! Enjoy the festiv…festtt…the party!” [D’Argo tries to focus on John but he has obviously had too much
to drink.]
John: [Pats D’Argo on the shoulder.] “Maybe you should have a seat D’Argo. Perhaps carve another one of your lovely
sculptures for Claudia when she gets here.
Ever think about getting into ice sculpting?”
D’Argo: [Shivers as John leads him to a small booth
near the gift table.] “Are you frelling
insane?”
[John
and D’Argo break out laughing.]
John: “Been there, done that!”
[Rygel
zooms past with several Scapers chasing him by. He screams for help but no one comes. Chiana and Jool reconcile differences long enough to resume
decorating the huge cake for Claudia.
Aeryn secures the Stand, because frankly, she has nothing better to
do. The Pilot and the Leviathans begin
playing on stage, bringing Scapers and aliens to the dance floor. The disco ball spins away. Crais and Scorpius then enter into the
Stand, with gifts.]
John: [Wrinkles brow in confusion as he stands to
meet the two at the door.] “What the
frell?” [Peers at Scorpius’ rather
large gift.] “Got any mind-frelling
devices I should know about?”
Scorpius: [Grins mischievously.] “All in good time, Crichton. All in good time!” [Steps away to join in on festivities.]
John: [Watches him disappear into the crowd.] “Does anyone ever invite him to these
things?”
Crais: “We are all welcome at the Stand.” [Places his own smaller gift on the table.]
John: “Crap.
I’ve really gotta talk to that LeatherGirl.”
[John
and Crais separate and suddenly, Claudia appears at the door, unannounced. Some left over chocolate sprinkles fall upon
her as she enters, and Pilot and the Leviathans begin to play a horrible
rendition of Happy Birthday, as described to them by John. Everyone in the Stand turns to stare at
Claudia and cheers.]
Everyone: “Happy Birthday Claudia!!!”
Claudia: [With a wide grin.] “Frell!
I had no idea!”
Aeryn: [Approaches to escort her into the
Stand.] “Come on, I’ll take you to the
bar. I’m sure you’ll want a Fellip
Nectar after your journey.”
[Claudia
frowns at Aeryn but is interrupted as John entwines his arm with hers and leads
her in behind Aeryn.]
John: “Don’t pay any attention to her, Claud. She’s just a little…well, just don’t push
the wrong buttons with her.”
Claudia: “Hey, it’s my birthday, I can do what I want
to.”
John: [Laughs.]
“I should have had Pilot and the Leviathans play that one!” [Claudia laughs with him and they encounter
the bar. Rygel is already busily
stuffing his face with Fluffables. John
smacks him up side the head and Rygel nearly spits at him. Claudia reaches out and tugs his ear. Rygel growls as he gets the hint and leaves
them be.]
John: “Fluffables…just like….”
Claudia: [Widened eyes.] “Chocolate!”
Chiana: [Hops over to them with blue frosting
blending in with her natural features.]
“Hey Claudia! Come see what Jool
and I made for you!”
[Before
Claudia can snatch a few Fluffables, she is led to the usual booth to view the
huge cake. Jool raises her arms to show
off the cake. Chiana and Claudia stand
to observe it as Aeryn, John, D’Argo, and even Pilot joins them.]
Jool: “We worked for nearly an entire solar
day…but here it is!”
[Just
as Claudia is about to step forward to observe the details, Rygel bursts
through the cake on his throne sled, while fleeing from Scapers. Cake flies everywhere, sticking to
everything and everyone. Pilot licks off
some of the frosting and his eyes dilate.
He suddenly begins to spin around and shout. He makes his way to the dance floor where the dancers part for
him. Pilot then begins to break
dance. The remaining crew covered in
cake and frosting shake their heads.]
Chiana: “You don’t want to know what we put in
it.” [Giggles nervously.]
Claudia: [Licks off some frosting but doesn’t feel
the same effect as Pilot.] “It’s
wonderful, girls, thank you!”
[Aeryn
shifts with frustration, searching the crowd in case Scorpius or some other
threat decides to pounce on them.]
Aeryn: “Let’s get on with this. Security is weak tonight. D’Argo’s drinking like a frelling migot,
Rygel’s running from harmless humans, and Scorpius is securing some kind of device
to that pile of gifts….” [Noticing
Scorpius, Aeryn leaps over the booth and attacks the creature. Scorpius falls over and waddles away while
John and the others meet up with Aeryn.
She stands to observe the device.
It is large, black, and very odd.
She depresses a button and suddenly, sounds begin to play from the
device. John and Claudia laugh and
begin to dance to the sounds. Aeryn
narrows her eyes.]
Claudia: “A boom box! I love it!”
John: “Scorpy must’ve gotten that one from
me!” [Laughs and wraps an arm around
Claudia’s waist. At that moment, Aeryn
decides she’s had enough and manages to turn off the boom box. Claudia and John turn to look at her in question. Aeryn is steaming with anger. She steps up to Claudia and glares hard.]
Aeryn: “I don’t’ think it’s safe for you to be here
any longer.”
Claudia: [Narrows eyes as well.] “This is *my* party! Maybe *you* should leave!” [Taps Aeryn as she points.]
John: [Steps forward, trying to disrupt the
brewing fight.] “Ladies, ladies, maybe
we should….” [At that moment, Aeryn and
Claudia, still glaring at each other, push John away. Unfortunately,
unbeknownst to them, he falls into the hands of Scorpius and is dragged away. Chiana and Jool rush to help him, but trip
over D’Argo, who is lying on the floor, passed out. Beside him is a half-carved bust of John from Fluffables.]
Aeryn: “You want to fight me? Go on, strike me.”
Claudia: “You asked for it.” [Smacks Aeryn who becomes shocked.] “How was that? Did I knock some sense into you yet?”
Aeryn: “Just a microt.” [Smacks Claudia in the face.]
“Yes. Yes, I think I felt
something there.”
Claudia: [Slaps Aeryn again.] “There!
There, I felt something!”
Aeryn: [Smacks Claudia once more.] “Ha!
You’re right, I think I’m better now!”
Claudia: [Raises arms momentarily.] “See?
Bloody would’ve smacked you again, mate. Now let’s go rescue John.”
[The
two then rush away into the crowd. They
discover Scorpius seating John on the Aurora Barstool just in time. Aeryn grabs a flask of Raslak and flings it
into Scorpius’ face as Claudia kicks the barstool onto its side. John tumbles to the floor, grateful of his
rescue. He scurries to stand behind the
two women as they attack Scorpius.
Scorpius then rushes into the dancing crowd, only to be grabbed by the
still high Pilot. Claudia and Aeryn
wipe their hands and give each other a high five. Or at least Claudia tries to.
Aeryn only stands there, confused.
The women then shake hands, with John smiling beyond.]
Claudia: [Wriggles fingers in anticipation.] “Now, where are those presents?”
[Claudia
is led to the gift table and opens her gifts.
The disco ball spins wildly, Scorpius and Pilot dance the night away,
and Chiana and Jool argue over who cleans up the cake mess. Another birthday bash has survived at the
Stand.]
*****
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY CLAUDIA!!!