Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape or anything associated
with Farscape. And I’m not at ScaperCon
even though everyone thinks I am! Hehehe. If your name appears in this edition and you
have a line, please realize that this is all fiction and I borrow you for only
a microt. I put words into your mouths
and had no idea if these actually fit your personalities or not. But either way…at least you got to be in an
edition and interact with the Farscape characters, right??? ;) No pun was intended on any of your
behalf—unless you can take a joke! Just
remember…nothing’s serious here! Blue
Goo is a beverage of NIBB-fizz.
Web
Site: http://www.oocities.org/fellipnectarstand
Info
on FNS Regulars if you’d like to join: http://www.oocities.org/fellipnectarstand/regulars.html
Setting: ScaperCon 2001, Ohio
*****
[The
crowded parking lot of the hotel where ScaperCon resides this year suddenly
grows dark. The sun is being
blocked. Scapers meandering about
glance towards the sky and their eyes widen and their mouths drop open. Hovering above them is, you guessed it, Moya
and Talyn. A few Scapers
John
G: “Holy Frell in a Hand Basket.”
[Other
crewmates aboard Moya look to him only briefly and then back to the view screen
showing the parking lot below.]
Rygel: [Speaking over open comms between the two
ships.] “They look like a bunch of
Hynerian Mojule Larvae scurrying to find their mother.” [Laughs.]
Jool: “Ugh!
Fantastic analogy.”
Aeryn: “Is this the correct location?” [Sternly glances over to LeatherGirl, who is
gawking at John T standing beside her on Talyn.]
LeatherGirl: “Ah, er….”
[Takes a step forward to glance out Talyn’s view screen.] “Yep…hey, I can see my house from here!”
John
T: “Isn’t it in Wisconsin?”
D’Argo: [Over the comms.] “The cheese colony?”
LeatherGirl: “Hey…wait, how did you know that?”
John
G: [Over the comms.] “We’ve had a lot of time to chat around
here. Hey Moya, park her here, will
ya?”
Pilot: “Park?
I do not understand the meaning of…”
John
G, John T, and LeatherGirl:
“Dock!”
[Crais
and Aeryn immediately duck to the ground, their weapons drawn. LeatherGirl and John T roll their eyes and
shake their heads.]
Pilot: “Oh.”
[Both
Moya and Talyn hover close to the hotel, squeezing themselves between another
building and a nearby patch of trees. A
hotel concierge on a lunch break sees the two ships and keels over into the
water fountain outside the hotel. The
crews of Moya and Talyn slowly clamber out, with Scapers already rushing up to
greet them.]
Anonymous
Scaper: “Frell, this is just like
Galaxy Quest! Are you here to save the
planet? Oh wait, I have to get my
friends over here for a picture…Pose by the ships, will ya?” [Exasperated Scaper rushes away towards the
parking lot. LeatherGirl ushers
everyone to keep a low profile and follow her closely.]
LeatherGirl: “Hurry up, guys! If we’re lucky, we can enter through the back without anyone
noticing us.”
Chiana: “Ah, I think it’s too late for that.”
John
G: “Why?”
[Chiana
points and the rest of the group glance over towards the front of the
hotel. Rygel is surrounded by a crowd
of screaming fans; all of them wanting an autograph.]
Stark: “Frell.
Should we go or should we stay?”
[Jool slaps a hand onto his mouth before Aeryn has a chance to.]
Aeryn: “And you haven’t even been staying on the
same ship with him.”
LeatherGirl: “Come on guys, I think I see a way in. See those clothes racks over there? We can hide behind them and…” [Aeryn walks past with a gun raised.]
John
T: [Following close behind, winks at
LG.] “Can’t argue with a pulse pistol.”
LeatherGirl: [Shakes her head.] “I knew this was a bad idea.”
D’Argo: [Pats LeatherGirl on the back and walks
along with her as they follow Aeryn.]
“Hey, at least you got us here in one piece. And as far as I can tell, you haven’t frelled anything up like
Crichton has.”
LeatherGirl: [Side glances to D’Argo.] “Ah, gee…thanks D’Argo.”
D’Argo: “Any time.”
[Walks ahead.]
Crais: “Rygel!
Get your eema out of there now!”
Rygel: [Giggles at all the girls swooning over
him.] “There’s plenty more time for us
to get acquainted, girls! But I must
leave now…I’m needed for a much more pressing matter. Being a Dominar isn’t all fun and krabbage now is it?” [Zooms away from crowd of fans and meets up
with the crew as they enter into the back of the hotel, presumably unnoticed.]
Chiana: “Why are we here and not at the one in this
California you mentioned earlier? Isn’t
that supposed to be the biggest party on the planet?”
LeatherGirl: [Hushes Chiana.] “Quiet! The Burbank con
is the biggest, but I think that the ScaperCon is the best…all the Scapers are
here to have fun together. If the
actual actors were here, they’d be pining over them all frelling day. They’d be competing with each other just to
get a whiff of Ben’s cologne as he passes them by.”
Jool: “Ever heard the word obsession?”
Aeryn: [Smirks.]
“It’s a common trait in humans, I’ve decided.”
[Loud
thundering applause interrupts the crew as they sneak through a darkened
hallway. Aeryn trains her pulse pistol
on the wall with John T, John G, Crais, Chiana, and D’Argo following suit. Jool places her hands on her hips and begins
to pick her teeth. Stark paces back and
forth, fretting. Rygel finds a spare
Hynerian Mojule in his throne sled and begins to munch on it loudly. LeatherGirl’s comms crackle and she jumps.]
LeatherGirl: [Hisses into comms.] “Pilot, not now!”
Pilot: “But…but someone has…”
Stark: [Whispers loudly into his comms.] “NOT NOW!”
[The
thundering applause through the wall begins to quiet down and a single voice can
be heard, announcing the opening ceremonies of ScaperCon 2001.]
John
G: “2001?”
John
T: [With a smirk.] “Frell, I guess the Apocalypse never did
happen, huh?”
LeatherGirl: [Finds a small pinhole in the wall and peers
through it.] “I wonder if jedikatie got
here okay…she’s supposed to be representing me.”
Jool: “You’re here aren’t you? Why don’t you just go in there and announce
your presence?”
[LeatherGirl
instantly grows a shade of red and backs away from the wall.]
Crais: “Now what?”
LeatherGirl: “I’m shy.”
John
G: “Could’ve fooled me.”
LeatherGirl: “No, really, I’m shy…like as in, afraid of
large crowds…as in cannot speak.”
Rygel: “Here, have some punch.” [Hovers over and gives LeatherGirl a cup of
red liquid. She peers at it
questioningly, shrugs and takes a drink anyway.]
Chiana: “Hey, where’d you get that? I want to try some!” [Reaches over and takes the glass from
LeatherGirl, who is now smiling from ear to ear.]
John
T: [Notices the change.] “What’d you do, Sparky?”
Rygel: [Laughs mischievously.] “You said I could easily fit into small
spaces…so I crawled into the next room, slipped underneath the beverage bar and
helped myself to this large vat of red liquid.
It was quite bizarre, so I added a few things to it.”
John
G: [Steps forward in alarm. LeatherGirl and Chiana are now bouncing off
the walls, literally.] “What did you
put in that stuff, Rygel?” [Points his
pulse pistol in Rygel’s face.]
Rygel: [Emits a small odorless squeal of gas. John G backs away as do the others. Rygel responds in a falsetto voice.] “Raslac…Fellip Nectar…maybe a little Kylian
Fectar.”
Crais: “Kylian Fectar? You put Kylian Fectar in it?”
Aeryn: “Frell.”
[Shakes head.]
D’Argo: “I knew I should never have let Chiana get
that stuff.”
Stark: “We would have run into it sooner or
later. We like danger.” [Eyes D’Argo spookily with his one eye.]
Jool: [Places hands on hips and avoids LeatherGirl
as she bounces into the wall beside her.]
“Are we just going to stand here in the dark or are we going to go in
there?”
Crais: “There’s no door.”
John
G: [Rolls eyes.] “You guys are way too spoiled. You have to open them yourselves where I
come from. Look, see that red sign down
the hall? That’s the entrance.”
John
T: “It says EXIT you idiot.”
John
G: “They don’t know that!”
LeatherGirl: “Here, let’s just go through the walls,
guys. It’s much quicker!” [LeatherGirl backs away from the wall and
prepares to charge into it. The crew
around her yells and reaches out for her to stop but it’s too late. Both she and Chiana charge into the wall and
come crashing into the large ballroom beyond.
The ballroom filled to the brim with Scapers grows quiet as dust and
debris settles and 9 very stunned off-worlders stare back at them from within
the collapsed wall.]
smushybutt: [Whispers to her fellow board members on
stage.] “How the frell are we going to
explain that one?”
DelvianPrince: “Never mind the explanation…how are we going
to clean it up?!”
[All
Scapers in the room get a clear view of LeatherGirl and Chiana sitting in the
debris with John T, John G, Aeryn, Crais, D’Argo, Stark, Rygel, and Jool
standing behind them in the darkened hallway.
Again, a few
Scaper: “Oh my god!
It’s the cast of Farscape!”
[Suddenly,
the entire group of Scapers begins to scream wildly and stampede towards the
crew.]
Chiana: “Ah, LeatherGirl…shouldn’t we get up
now? By the way, how’s your eema?” [The two stand up quickly and are already
caught in the stampede.]
LeatherGirl: “My wha…”
[At that moment, an anonymous Scaper slaps LeatherGirl and Chiana in the
eema. Both shriek and turn to watch the
crew behind them be bombarded by excited fans.]
Chiana: “Whose idea was this again?” [Rubs eema sorely.]
D’Argo: “Please!
Please, one at a time!” [Ushers
Scapers back so that he and his fellow crewmates can get some breathing room.]
[After
a half hour of Scapers trying to get all of the crew’s attention at once, the
excitement dies down and people spread out in the ballroom. Rygel resumes his position at the beverage
bar with Stark. Jool and Chiana follow
LeatherGirl to find the girls room to freshen up. Aeryn walks with one arm linked with John T and the other arm
linked with John G. Crais tries to walk
around with the twelve females permanently attaching themselves to him. D’Argo sits on the edge of the stage,
telling stories with a few Scapers who have crowded around him.]
JulietEcho:
[Approaches LeatherGirl as she, Jool, and Chiana exit the girls room.] “Hey LeatherGirl! I thought I’d see you here!
Hi Chiana and Jool, I love your outfits.”
LeatherGirl: “An FNS Regular! Hey, JulietEcho! By the
way, stay away from the punch.”
[JulietEcho
laughs and then heads off to the beverage bar.
LeatherGirl calls out after her but shakes her head.]
Jool: “I guess she didn’t really understand what
you meant by that.”
Chiana: “Maybe she saw Crais or one of the Johns
over there.”
[All
three nod their heads in agreement and continue on their way through the
crowds.]
Jedikatie: [Spots Aeryn and both Johns coming towards
her.] “Ben, Claudia! And er…Ben?”
Aeryn: “Who is Claudia?”
John
T: “Ben? I know I may look like the average Joe but I ain’t no Ben.”
John
G: “The name rings a bell, but…”
Jedikatie: “Sure, you guys are from Farscape. Frell, that’s what we’re all here for, you
know. I had no clue you guys were going
to be here though!”
grammykins: [Passes the four by and shakes her fist in
the air.] “Rock on!” [Aeryn gives her a strange look.]
John
G: “We should really be going now…”
Jedikatie: [Gets excited.] “If you guys are here, is Jonathan Hardy here too?” [Glances around wildly.]
John
T: [Smiles.] “Sure he is! He’s at the
punch bowl…have a drink while you’re at it.
You’ll need it when you see him!”
[John G and Aeryn both laugh and the three move on their way, leaving
Jedikatie to search for the beverage bar on her own.]
Crais: “I would be happy to show you around Talyn,
if you’d let go of me for a microt.”
Leah3: [In awe.]
“You brought along some of the set from Farscape? That’s too awesome! How’d you get it here? Semi?
Cargo plane?”
Mreen: “So Lani, could you do Pilot’s voice for
us?” [Bats eye lashes.]
Crais: [Rolls eyes for the thirty-second time this
fine day and shakes hands as he speaks.]
“Once again, I am ex-PeaceKeeper Captain Bialar Crais, now commanding
the hybrid gunship Talyn. I do not know
who Lani is and I will not imitate another creature of which I have no desire
to sound alike.”
Violettefrost: “Hey, is that the transponder in your
neck?! Wow, you guys went all out for
us didn’t you? I’ve really gotta write
a letter to that make-up department for their amazing work!”
[Crais
rolls eyes and the group pushes on through the crowd.]
D’Argo: [Polishes his Qualta Blade one last time and
smiles at the group surrounding him.]
“So I told her not to let the tattoo fool her…it was the only falsehood
on my body!”
[Group
laughs hysterically, though a few passer-bys were left completely confused as to
the fact they hadn’t heard the first part of the story.]
Shipscat: “So what other acting projects have you been
immersed in lately?
D’Argo: “Acting?
Do you think everything I do is an act?
I’m a warrior…I’ve fought in two battle campaigns and survived with that
human for nearly three cycles! I do not
act.”
Shipscat: [Widens eyes.] “Whoa, Anth, cool it. I
was just asking…”
D’Argo: “Again, who is this Anth? Do I look like him? I sure as hezmana haven’t seen any other
Luxans around here.”
[Instantly
becomes quiet when he sees a Scaper dressed in Luxan attire pass them by. He shakes his head and looks back to the
group.]
D’Argo: “I’m sorry, really. There’s been a lot of pressure lately, and…”
Shipscat: “We understand completely Anth. Why not tell us another one of your
stories? There are a lot of us taking
notes for future fanfic projects!”
[Leans forward excitedly with pen and paper in hand.]
D’Argo: [Takes big breath and plays along.] “Well…there was this hilarious incident
involving Chiana and the Storage Facility…”
[Jool,
Chiana, and LeatherGirl pass D’Argo by and skim through the crowd. Already, the three had been mistaken for
many other people.]
Jool: “Where do they get Tammy out of my
name? Do your people fabricate things
like this all the time?”
Chiana: “I kinda like the name Gigi. But what’s make-up and where can I get some
of this? I like the sound of it.”
LeatherGirl: “Why does everyone think I’m one of the
guest actresses? I’ve never been on TV
before!! Well, there was this time…oh,
well, hey there’s Rygel and Stark.”
[The
girls head over to the beverage bar where several Scapers are happily bouncing
around in circles or off of each other.
Rygel and Stark are laughing mischievously and are even caught spilling another
small flask of mysterious liquid into the bowl.]
LeatherGirl: [Peers into the reddened liquid and then
back to Stark and Rygel.] “Better not
be any Blue Goo in the mix. It could
have disastrous results.”
Stark: “Blue Goo?
Like Zhaan?”
Jool: [Turns lips in disgust.] “I sure the frell hope she hasn’t
materialized into that!”
Chiana: “Hey, that stuff is great! Where’s NIBB when you need him?”
LeatherGirl: “Oh, well he’s not here right now…”
Rygel: “Oh, so you know where he is all the time? Do you two know BamaGirl and _player_? You should really get some help.”
Chiana: [Slaps Rygel on the head.] “Hey, Scapers hang together all the time,
Ryge. Not like you’d understand
relationships.”
Rygel:
[Snorts.] “And you do?”
[Chiana
glares at Rygel.]
Stark: “This ‘punch’ liquid has become quite
popular. The more we add to it, the
more they drink!” [Laughs insanely and
pours in another small flask of liquid.]
[Proving
his point, several Scapers line up to get another cup full of punch. One Scaper actually hits the tall ceiling
and bounces back down after taking a sip.]
Jool: “That’s going to hurt in the morning.”
[A
loud screeching noise interrupts the crowd and all look to the stage. John T and John G are standing with
smushybutt at the microphone, waiting to address everyone. The crowd hushes.]
John
T and John G at the same time:
“Welcome...” [They stop and look
to each other in annoyance. They then
proceed to play Rock Paper Scissors to decide who will get to speak. After the third try, Aeryn shakes her head
and rushes onto the stage to speak for them.]
Aeryn: “Welcome, everyone. We’re just visiting, no reason to get
alarmed. To clarify a few things we are
all here on a visit from the Uncharted Territories, we mean no harm, and we’ll
be on our way shortly.”
John
G: [Shakes head.] “We were going to say that we were ready to
party, Aeryn.”
John
T: “Thanks for spoiling our parade.”
smushybutt: “What?
You’re not staying? But you
can’t leave! You’ve already destroyed
half the hall…someone has to help us clean the mess up. Besides, we all would really love for you to
stay. There’s a Kickbox Aerobics class
later on that I know you’ll love Aeryn.
You could teach us all a few PK techniques. And John…and John…there’s a SACC Presentation later on…OboeCrazy
and the rest are gonna want to have you there!”
Rygel: [Yells from the audience.] “Someone’s hijacked Moya!”
[The
entire crowd gasps and then rushes out the damaged wall of the ballroom to get
to the parking lot quicker. Smushybutt
and DelvianPrince throw up their arms in defeat. They follow the crowd. In
the parking lot, Moya is indeed flying high in circles around the hotel, while
Talyn chases her close behind, trying to help his mother. The crew of Farscape looks up in horror and
tries to contact Pilot on their comms.]
John
G: “Pilot! What’s happening?”
Pilot: [In clearly annoyed voice.] “I was trying to tell you….”
Crais: [In tune with Talyn.] “Talyn has informed me that someone is perpetrating
rides on Moya. Look…there’s already a
line formed!”
[Crew
rushes over to find the culprit behind the whole charade and gasps. Scorpius grins before them and hands an
obscenely large ticket to the next Scaper in line.]
LeatherGirl: “Zoiks!”
John
G: “You got that one right.”
John
T: “What the frell are you doing
Scorpius?” [Pauses and looks to John G
for confirmation.] “Or is it Harvey?” [John G shrugs.]
[Aeryn
and D’Argo step forward with their weapons drawn. A Scaper in the growing crowd around them calls out for everyone
to come and look.]
Scaper: “Hey everybody! They’re going put on a simulated action show for us!”
[More
Scapers gather around.]
D’Argo: [Annoyed.]
“Again…we’re not really…”
Jool: “Frell!
Then who’s that?” [Shrieks as
she points to a large Scarran battle ship coming into view far over head. Moya and Talyn hover low to the ground near
where they had docked. The ground
shakes as the ship grows closer and several more Scapers
D’Argo: “Scarrans!”
John
T: “Quick, everyone back on
board!”
[As
John T refers to his crewmates the crowd of Scapers behind them rush onto Moya
or Talyn as well. John T looks to John
G in annoyance and then they both shrug and continue on into their ships.]
smushybutt:
[Admiring Moya’s beautiful interior
structure.] “Remind me to rent this
thing out next year.”
John
G: “Hey Scorpy, we didn’t mean you
could come along!” [Shouts to Scorpy
who is ahead of the crowd.]
John
T: [Over comms.] “If you’re with Scorpy on Moya, then who is
the Scorpy on Talyn???” [John T is face
to face with another Scorpy on Talyn.
Scorpy grins and the two are then pushed aside as a group of Scapers
rush through.]
MadCat00: [Passes John T by.] “I wanna see Command on this baby!”
Crais: “Just wait!
Talyn’s a little shy!” [Shouts
as a group of Scapers rushes towards Command ahead of him.]
[The
crew on Moya is already in Command by now as well as a large group of
Scapers. Rygel tries to make his way
through the crowd, picking up as many values as he can find hanging loose among
the gullible onlookers.]
LeatherGirl: “Hey Rygel, you’re on the wrong ship!”
Rygel: “You try living with that crew for a few
monens and see how you like it!”
LeatherGirl: “Good point.”
Chiana: “What are we going to do about the
Scarrans? They’ll destroy your planet
if we don’t do something!”
[LeatherGirl
and John G look to each other momentarily and then to the crowd of Scapers.]
John
G: “Any fanfic writers in here?”
LeatherGirl: “Come on guys…we’ve had some incredible
plots in the past…we can get out of this if we stick our heads together and…”
Jool: [Curls upper lip in disgust.] “Stick your heads together? Is that some sort of ritual…or custom? Your people disgust me more and more each
solar day.”
Elflore: “I can’t give away what I’m writing in my
next fanfic…no frelling way!”
DRAyKE: “Scarrans vs. John Crichton…no wait,
Scorpius vs. Scarrans vs. John Crichton…ooh, better yet…Scapers vs. Scarrans
vs. Scorpius vs. John Crichton!”
lilolme: “Somebody get him a pen and paper now or
he’ll explode!”
Kieriahn: “Cat and Mouse!”
LeatherGirl: “Who?
What? Where?”
dhenry: “No!
She means that we should play a little cat and mouse with ‘em!”
WarriorWoman: “As long as we keep it nice and clean…we
want our deposits back, you know!”
MagentasRiffRaff: “By the way…do you think the guest speakers
are wondering where we all went to by now?”
Saimhe: “Don’t worry…I’m sure the Scarran battle ship
hovering above the hotel will clue them in on the whole thing.”
D’Argo: [Holds hands up in air to hush
everyone.] “Please! Pilot wishes to say something!”
Missee: [Sheepishly.] “Sorry.”
Pilot: “Talyn has a plan.”
[On
board Talyn, things are a little out of hand as Scapers are running around,
chasing prototype DRDs or trying to find the bathroom.]
Stark: “The Dren chamber? I’ve been trying to find that since I first got here.”
Xenajules2: [Wrinkles nose and steps away from
Stark.] “Then what have you been
doing…wait I don’t want to know!”
[Scorpius
enters into Command as John T, Aeryn, Crais and a few Scapers are arguing over
what to do.]
PKLibrarian: [Looks up at Scorpius and smiles
weakly.] “Ah, Hi.”
[Scorpius
hisses and turns to face another Scaper.]
BethS: “Yikes!”
Scorpius: “They’re going to kill us if we don’t do
something immediately.”
HynerianDonkey: [Shakes head and stifles a laugh.] “Have you been studying the Stupid Alien
Quotation Book lately?”
Crais: “Quiet everyone! Talyn has a plan and it will work!”
John
T: “Oh really Captain Corny? Tell us already, will ya?”
Aeryn: “If you haven’t noticed, that ship is
getting closer and closer and we still haven’t a clue how to end all this
dren!”
DaniRoyer: “What?
Is this a Choose Your Own Adventure story all of a sudden? Gees!”
Crais: “Talyn will race towards the sky with Moya
close behind. The Scarrans will go
after us, since that’s who they’re after and then we’ll all starburst out of
this galaxy for good.”
John
T: [Shakes his head and Crais goes up
to him looking frantic.] “Won’t work.”
Crais: [At wits end.] “Why not?!”
LeatherGirl: [Over comms.] “Because! They’re here to
attend ScaperCon. They heard the
broadcast about it and realized there were even more humans out there with the
possible knowledge that John possesses!
We’re frelled!”
[Several
screams of horror are heard over the open comms. A few laughs follow…some Scapers are still in denial. And some are still bouncing off the walls
from the punch.]
Rygel: “That’s it!”
Jool: “What…you have a plan?”
Scorpius: “Don’t you see? The punch…the punch!”
Chiana: “Oh yeah!
The punch can save our eemas!
Quick…mix up some more of that stuff!”
LeatherGirl: “Here, I’ve been saving a little vat of Blue
Goo for….”
[Rygel
takes it out of her hands and pours it into the small vat of punch he had
snurched from the convention. The vat
begins to hiss and bubble terribly.
Several nearby Scapers run for cover.]
John
G: “Quick! Get that thing to an air lock now!”
[D’Argo
and a Scaper rush with Rygel to a nearby airlock and proceed to shove the
brewing mixture out the airlock. Rygel
is nearly stuffed out as well but is saved by Jedikatie. The vat swirls towards the large Scarran battle
ship beneath Moya and Talyn and the liquid fizzles over the entire ship. The ship begins to shake violently and speed
up into the atmosphere past Moya and Talyn.
The liquid begins to glow a bright purple and the ship begins to melt
inwards. Several “oohs” and “aahs” can
be heard throughout both Moya and Talyn.]
Stark: “What is it doing?”
John
T: “Wow! It’s morphing into…”
Aeryn: “It looks like…”
Violettefrost: “Hey…is that a….”
Shipscat: “Oh my god!
I’ve gotta get this into a fanfic somehow!!!”
Elflore: “Not if I write one first!!”
[The
Scarran ship before Moya and Talyn suddenly explodes with a brilliant
bluish-purple flash and disintegrates completely. Rygel swipes his hands together in satisfaction and heads for the
Galley. Moya and Talyn lower back to
the parking lot below to drop off the Scapers.]
Stark: “I scream, you scream, we all scream for Ice
Cream!” [Runs through the hall of
Talyn.]
John
T: “Oh great. Who taught him that one?”
[Scorpius
meets up with his clone as everyone begins to walk out of Moya and Talyn. They hiss at each other and begin to quarrel
in the background. Jedikatie walks
alongside Rygel, patting his ears.]
Jedikatie: “So, as rumor has it, you think of something
you want it to taste or be like and that’s what the Blue Goo becomes? So what were you thinking when you poured it
into the punch?”
Rygel: [Giggles and looks up to her.] “To send them to the most annoying place in
the entire universe…besides Earth that is.”
Missee: “Where’d you send them?”
Rygel: “My home planet!”
[All
laugh and head on into the hotel with everyone else. Scapers take their seats in the messed ballroom as the Farscape
crew takes their places on stage to say a few parting words.]
D’Argo: “We all had a great time, but we really do
need to go now.”
Scaper
in audience: “Where do you have to
go? You’re convicts on the run!”
[A
few giggles commence.]
John
T: “We’ve got to go save the universe.”
John
G: “And our own eemas.”
Aeryn: “I’d love to stay and chat…but…”
Chiana: “What she means to say is that we truly
enjoyed your gathering but we have to leave.”
Jool: “Bye.”
Crais: “Next time please stock up on the Fellip
Nectar and Raslac.”
LeatherGirl: [Several Scapers look to LeatherGirl.] “Hey, I’m off duty.”
Entire
crew: “Bye everyone!” [The Johns blow kisses as the crew leaves
the stage. The Scapers begin to scream
for them to come back and follow them out as they re-enter their ships. The Scapers stop before the two ships and
look on sadly. The crew waves once more
and then the ships begin to hover upwards.
They then circle around the hotel once and blast out of the sky,
rattling windows and creating wind gusts up to sixty miles per hour. The Scapers smile and wave and then turn
back and head on in to the ballroom.]
**
Back
on Moya…
Jool: [Seated across from Jool, Chiana, Rygel, and
John G.] “You should have stayed on
Talyn, Rygel.”
Rygel: [Laughs as he stuffs his mouth with
food.] “There wasn’t any food left…and LeatherGirl
traded places with me.”
Chiana: “That’s not fair!”
John
G: “How’d you guys like Earth, by the
way?”
D’Argo: “And I thought two of you was bad enough.”
Meanwhile
on Talyn…
[Both
Scorpius’ are still arguing with each other in a corner of Command.]
Aeryn: [Rolls eyes.] “How we got both Scorpius’ on Talyn is beyond my reasoning.”
Crais: “Talyn hasn’t even developed any air locks
yet.”
LeatherGirl: “Pilot has informed me that both ships have
no stowaway Scapers on board. Such a
shame, really.”
John
T: “That was fun. Where’s next year’s ScaperCon going to be?”
[All
give John T a glance and he drops his inquiry.]
And
finally back to Earth and ScaperCon 2001…
PKLibrarian: [Stands among ruins of what was once the
ballroom.] “That was some damned good
special effects you had planned there, smushybutt!”
Smushybutt: [Looks to PKLibrarian in bewilderment.] “I had nothing to do with it…and neither did
the rest of the Committee!”
Xenajules2: “You mean all that was real?” [Her voice is suddenly amplified as she
passes by a microphone. All the Scapers
in the ballroom stop dead in their tracks.
No, not literally, gees people!]
[Scapers
begin to thunder out of the ballroom once more to look out in the parking
lot. Smushybutt and her Committee stand
amongst the mess, shaking their heads.
Smushybutt glances down and sees a fresh new newspaper. She picks it up and looks at the major
headline along with her Committee.]
Newspaper
headline: LOCAL FARSCAPE CONVENTION
ROCKETED BY ALIEN SHIPS
DelvianPrince: “Frell!
ScaperCon attendance is going to go through the roof next year!!!”
*****
This
is LeatherGirl saying Hi to everyone at ScaperCon 2001! I hope you’re all having a blast! Not a real blast, mind you, just a good time.
;) Some of you somehow got the idea
that I was actually going to be there.
Unfortunately, due to low funds and RL, I could not attend. Maybe next year…that would be nice! Especially if I get to present the winners
of the Farscape FanFic Awards myself (a millions thanks to Jedikatie once again
for representing me and the awards this year!). Take care and let’s hope the Scarrans don’t show up!!