THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND Easter Edition

 

Author:  LeatherGirl

 

Disclaimer:  I do not own Farscape, the Easter Bunny, or John Crichton.  But I do own a huge bag of Mini Eggs (LeatherGirl’s secret passion) and I’m not giving anybody a single one!!! Bwhahahaha!!!

 

*****

[The Stand is in chaos with fluffy white ears and tails bouncing in every direction.  Many child aliens are screeching and scurrying about, searching for those hidden colorful eggs the size of a super large hen’s egg from Earth.  The Stand itself is decorated in gentle pastel colors and candles are lit everywhere.  The Bartender is serving up greenish tinted milk for the youngsters and Fellip Nectar for the adults.  John, Aeryn, Chiana, and D’Argo are seated at their usual booth, drinking the usual.  Chiana dons a headset of bunny ears as well.]

 

Chiana:  [Giggles.]  “This is some holiday you have, John.  Did we get it right this time?”

 

John:  [Smiles, searching the room with his eyes.]  “Aside from the alien creatures with bad skin or the fact that the bar we’re in at the moment is floating free in space, yes, I think you’ve got it pretty much on the nose.”

 

Chiana:  [Rubs nose with confusion.]  “What?  What’s on my nose?  D’Argo, is there something on my nose?”

 

D’Argo:  [Exchanges impatient look with John.]  “No, Chiana, there is nothing on your nose.”

 

Aeryn:  “That annoying Interon has finally found a niche in this place.  I see she’s having a great time helping Rygel steal eggs from those children.” 

 

[The group turns to watch Jool and Rygel nonchalantly meandering around the center of the stand amongst the maze of children.  They smoothly brush past an unsuspecting child carrying a semi-full crate of eggs and scoop up several eggs.  Jool stuffs one conveniently between her breasts and Rygel places two in the folds of the velvet on his throne sled.]

 

John:  [Shakes head as all four turn back.]  “Once a snurch, always a snurch.”

 

Aeryn:  [Smiles at John.]  “I can’t believe you got Rygel to wear those ridiculous animal parts.”

 

John:  [Turns to Aeryn.]  “Again, Aeryn, they are rabbit ears and a fluffy rabbit tail.  He was the perfect height to play the Easter Bunny.  The kids would have been scared of D’Argo.”

 

Chiana:  [Leans forward with curiosity.]  “So why did you have him dress up and make us hide all those eggs?”

 

D’Argo:  “He’s homesick, why else?”  [Takes drink from his flask.]

 

John:  “You guys are always curious about the things I ramble on about so why the frell not?”

 

Aeryn:  “It is interesting.”  [Catches the looks of question from others and quickly counteracts.]  “In a know-who-you’re-dealing-with kind of way of course.”

 

Chiana:  [Suddenly very frightened, tugs at John’s sleeve.]  “Is that another one of your Easter customs?”

 

[All four look towards the bar in front of them to see a rapidly growing blue aura hovering before them.  The aura begins to take shape as the four reach for their weapons.  Before they can discern what is happening, the shape transforms into Zhaan.  She smiles radiantly at them and the shimmering aura around her dissipates.  Zhaan is here and now in the flesh.  She approaches them and takes a seat beside Aeryn at the booth.  All four of the crew sit in awe, their jaws dropped and their eyes wide open.]

 

Zhaan:  [Giggles.]  “Hello.”

 

John:  [Barely audible.]  “This is just like what supposedly happened on Earth.  He was resurrected….Zhaan is resurrected.  She’s come back.”

 

Chiana:  “Is it really you?”  [Leans forward and touches Zhaan on the cheek.  Zhaan grasps Chiana’s outreached hand and holds it up to her cheek with a smile.]

 

Zhaan:  “In the spirit of John’s holiday, yes.”  [Glances around the stand.]  “I’m impressed, John.  You’ve managed to create quite the celebration here.  You’ve done well.”

 

[John and Aeryn glance at each other, still shocked.  John leans forward and peers at Zhaan for a microt before speaking.]

 

John:  “You’re real.”  [As if to confirm it by saying so out loud.]

 

[Giddy laughter rises from nearby and the group sees Stark madly racing through the children to get to Zhaan.  His arms are outreached and tears are streaming down his face.]

 

Stark:  “I knew it!  I knew you’d come back!”  [He skids into the booth beside Zhaan and they bend their forwards together, touching and closing their eyes.]

 

D’Argo:  [With a wrinkled brow.]  “I think we should leave them be.” 

 

[They all agree and Chiana, D’Argo, John, and Aeryn get up and head over to the bar to recommence their earlier conversation.]

 

Chiana:  “What were we talking about again?”  [Orders drinks for all four of them.]

 

John:  [Picks up his new drink.] “You and D’Argo were going to talk about some business between the two of you.  Aeryn, let’s go over to that little booth over in the corner.”  [Grabs a confused Aeryn and leads her away.  D’Argo and Chiana look to each other, smile briefly, and then look away from each other with annoyed expressions.]

 

[Meanwhile, Rygel and Jool are in the smack dab center of the stand, marveling at their success.  The eggs are hidden everywhere on their bodies and the children around them have begun to cry or grow angry, not finding any more eggs.  One child threatens to call his PeaceKeeper father…who in fact is in High Command.  Jool and Rygel glance at each other and quickly dig up as many eggs from their hiding places as they can retrieve.]

 

Rygel:  “Fine with me.  My throne sled was beginning to hover in lower hemispheres of unspeakable disgust.”  [Another egg falls from his throne sled and cracks on the hard floor beneath.  Jool and Rygel lean over with interest, to see what is hidden inside.]

 

Jool:  [Gasps.]  “There aren’t any jewels in there!  He lied to us!  That frelling idiotic imbecile lied to us!”

 

[Swirling down below them, within the confines of the cracked shell of the egg is a tiny virtual universe, projected via a holo-chip.  Another egg falls from Jool, this time, and cracks upon impact with the floor as well.  Inside this egg are two free flask chips.  Rygel laughs.  Jool prepares to scream.  John approaches, surprising her, and stuffs an egg into her mouth.  Upset, Jool stomps her foot, spits the egg out and stomps away in anger.  Aeryn joins John at Rygel’s side.]

 

Aeryn:  “What exactly did you put in all those eggs anyway?”

 

Rygel:  “Frelling dren.  A waste of my time, if you ask me.”

 

John:  “With the help of Pilot and some DRDs, I implanted some goodies we found at that last commerce planet…you know, the one beside those three huge asteroid fields?  Yeah, it had a huge neon sign…couldn’t miss it.  Freebies.  If there’s one thing Rygel’s attracted to, it’s Freebies.  If it weren’t for him, we would have passed that place by.”

 

Aeryn:  [Leans over and snatches an egg out from underneath a roll of fabric in Rygel’s throne sled.  She drops the egg onto the floor and kneels down to view its contents close-up.]  “Star dust?”  [She fingers through the delicate sparkling dust that poured out of the egg with curiosity and looks to John.]

 

Rygel:  “Why would anyone want anything so frivolous or disgusting?  It’s the same thing as dead creature particles!”

 

John:  “It’s kinda like Fairy Dust.  If these children are anything like the ones on Earth, they have an incredible imagination, Aeryn.  You could use a little of that yourself, you know.”  [Gives Aeryn a look she tries to ignore.  He also picks up an egg not very well hidden on Rygel’s throne sled and slams it onto the ground.]

 

Rygel:  [Grumbles.]  “Do you mind?  A little privacy here please?  My throne sled is my space!”  [Eyes widen at the sight of what is inside this third broken egg.]

 

[John scoops up the small puffy delicacy in his hand, twirling it in the candlelight.  Sparkles of basic sugar content and swirls of color make up most of the object.  The object is so light and puffy that it moves like a sponge when John grasps within his fingers.]

 

John:  [Smiles, marveling at the object.]  “Pure.  Sweet.  Simple.  It’s the UT’s version of chocolate, my friends.  Enjoy!”  [Takes a huge bite into the object as Aeryn and Rygel reach out in alarm.  John savors the flavors in his mouth and swallows.  Suddenly, his eyes grow round and he clutches his throat.  Aeryn panics as John falls flat onto the floor, his eyes closed.]

 

Rygel:  “I knew it!  The human was never really that smart.  Something as simple as choking to death.  I always knew he’d die in some ridiculous manner!”  [Laughs, patting his throne sled.]

 

Aeryn:  [Leans over John in hysteria.]  “We’ve got to do something!  John, don’t do this to me now.  I love you!”  [Leans in closer.]

 

[John’s eyes suddenly pop open and John begins to laugh hysterically.  Rygel leans back in surprise but begins to laugh as well.  He is looking for an opportunity to perform practical jokes.  Aeryn, finally realizing what was happening, hits John on the chest and stands.   John, surprised by her reaction but still laughing, grabs his chest with a hurtful expression and stands as well.]

 

John:  [Catches breath.]  “Aeryn!  They’re Fluffables!  Candy.  Food cubes with a kick, if you will.  They’re harmless…well, unless you eat a billion of them.  Come on, have one.”  [Aeryn crosses her arms stubbornly.  John leans in with one Fluffable in his hand and runs it underneath Aeryn’s nose.]  “For me?” 

 

[John gives Aeryn a flirtatious stare.  Aeryn gives in.  She grabs the Fluffable and sinks her teeth into it.  She bites off a piece and chews carefully for a microt.  A look of pleasure crosses over her face and she smiles at John.]

 

Rygel:  [Grunts.]  “Uh-oh.  You’re plan’s backfiring, Crichton.  Aren’t those the creatures who inhabit these eggs before you hollow them out?”  [John and Aeryn look to see that a few children gathered together on the floor nearby are joyfully watching the hatching of several of their eggs.]

 

[John and Aeryn walk over and watch with joy, holding hands.  Several tiny gray creatures with smooth long bodies and four legs begin squealing at tiny pitches barely perceptible to John’s ears.  The creatures’ heads resemble that of a baby lamb.]

 

John:  [Leans over and reaches out a hand.]  “Ah, they’re so cute, Aeryn!”  [Aeryn grabs John’s arm just as one of the creatures snip for it, baring a mouth filled completely with dagger-sharp teeth.  John frowns and faces Aeryn.]  “What the frell?  What are those things?”

 

Aeryn:  [Speaking nonchalantly.]  “Hyblets.  Soft and cuddly on the outside, hungry and ravenous on the inside.  I’d stay away from them if I were you.” 

 

John:  [Laughs nervously.]  “Rebirth, another Easter custom so to speak.  Well, it meant spring was coming.”

 

Aeryn:  [Turns head in question.]  “Spring?  Is this another atmosphere equation you talked about?”

 

John:  “Sort of…spring is a rebirth.  After a long, hard, cold season of death, plants, animals, everything begins anew.  Kinda like our relationship if you ask me.”  [Laughs once again as he and Aeryn travel back to the bar.]

 

Aeryn:  [Leans against bar and brings John in close, wrapping her arms around his waist.]  “Oh really?  And seeing that this holiday of yours is filled with so many ridiculous symbols, what do you have to symbolize the start of our new relationship?”  [Runs a finger down John’s cheek playfully.  John wraps his left arm around Aeryn’s waist and holds up another egg in his right hand for her to see.]  “Not another Hyblet, I hope.”

 

John:  “Go ahead.” 

 

[Aeryn drops the egg onto the counter.  Within the egg lies a tiny bottle of sweetness (as seen in the LATP trilogy).  John winks at Aeryn.  Aeryn carefully picks up the bottle and picks up the dropper.  She dips it into the bottle and begins the ritual.  One drop on her tongue and one drop on John’s tongue.  The two then touch their tongues together.  They then lean in and kiss.  Long and passionately, they do not break away.  Craziness resumes around them, with alien children running away from hungry Hyblets or vice versa.  Jool and Rygel are breaking open eggs, searching for anything with even a hint of value, D’Argo and Chiana are arguing at the other end of the bar, and Zhaan and Stark are still in “meditation”.  Life at the stand has rejuvenated once again.]

 

*****

Traditions.  That’s how holidays have survived throughout time.  My family’s Easter tradition was for the “Easter Bunny” to hide our baskets and leave clues.  Easter morning, we’d hunt around the house and find bottomless baskets of candy with one gift nestled within them.  For me, it was usually a Lego set!  Then, after church of course, we would have a huge Easter meal that normally consisted of a huge ham, green bean casserole, toasted buns, Easter candy, wine, steamed vegetables, Easter candy…Mmmmm!  I’m hungry! J

 

Thanks and have a wonderful, HAPPY EASTER everyone!