Author:
LeatherGirl
Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape or anything associated
with Farscape. I used Wayne Pygram as a
fictional character so please, if you’re reading this Wayne, I hope I have done
you justice…don’t send Scorpius after me, please!! Have a wonderful birthday!
Web
site: http://www.oocities.org/fellipnectarstand
If
you wanna understand how these editions work, read the introductory in the
Archive :)
*****
Setting: The Fellip Nectar Stand
Characters:
FS Crew, Wayne Pygram
**
[Recuperating
from the last birthday bash, the Stand is once again filled with celebration
music, colorful dancing lights, and party themes with an aurora flavor. The FS crew is seated at the usual booth,
staring at one another with unusually blank faces. Wayne enters into the bar to see every alien within staring into
nothingness, drinking their Fellip Nectar or Raslak, and murmuring to
themselves. Wayne shrugs and walks to
the bar, admiring his staggering pile of gifts near the doorway.]
Wayne: “Beer…er…Fellip Nectar, please.”
Bartender: [Whispers.]
“Is he here? Did he leave?”
[Wayne
notices for the first time that the bartender is the only one in the entire
Stand not wearing a party hat. He leans
in to whisper as well.]
Wayne: “Who?”
Bartender: “Scorpius!”
[Hisses as if it is the most obvious answer in the world.]
Wayne: [Eyes dart around.] “No.”
[Then looks to bartender and realizes what is going on.] “He replaced the real party hats with
mind-frelling party hats, didn’t he?”
Bartender: [Places finger upon lips and motions eyes
towards the doorway.] “Shhh!”
[Wayne
turns to see Scorpius, Lt. Braca, and a PeaceKeeper escort standing at the
door. He grabs his Fellip Nectar and
swallows the entire drink. He then
approaches Scorpius with a large smile.]
Wayne: “Scorpius.”
Scorpius: “Wayne.”
Lt.
Braca: [Looks from one to the
other.] “Do you two…know each
other?” [Notices the striking
resemblance between them.]
Wayne: [Taps a hidden com on his shirt.] “Now Talyn!”
[Talyn
and Moya then race past the Stand near Starburst speed. Scorpius, his escorts, and Wayne tumble to
the floor and every mind-frelling party hat is whisked from everyone’s heads as
a huge hurricane force wind gusts throughout the Stand. The bar patrons regain their composure and become
their usual loud, rowdy selves. Scorpius
hisses and is helped up by his escorts as Wayne stands as well.]
Wayne: “Did I ever tell you I play the drums?”
[Scorpius
pauses, waiting for the translator microbes to process the question. Without further notice, Wayne smacks him on
the head with a drumstick and follows suit with Lt. Braca and the PK
escort. All fall to the floor, out
cold. Wayne smiles, taps his drumstick
with another and walks over to meet with the FS crew. He slides in beside Pilot and lies his drumsticks upon the table.]
Rygel: [Reaches for the drumsticks but is smacked
by Jool.] “What the frell happened?”
Wayne: “Forget that! Let’s party! What did you
all get me?”
John: “I know you’re human, you’re a completely
different guy than Scorpy and all, but I have to tell you, I still can’t party
with you without thinking you’re him.”
Wayne: “I’m sorry…he’s my evil twin. Now, gifts…please?”
Aeryn: “What could I possibly give you that you
wouldn’t turn around and use to torture some one with?”
D’Argo: “I would have carved you something, but I
didn’t feel like it.”
Chiana: “Don’t look at me!”
Jool: “Hey, I just got here.”
Wayne: “This isn’t fair! Why can’t I hang out with you guys like Claudia and Ben and
everyone else? I’m a person too you
know!”
[Wayne
looks upset. John sympathizes and
breaks into a huge grin.]
John: “Got you!”
[The
group laughs and reveals gloriously wrapped gifts from under the table…well,
Rygel’s never been that good at wrapping.
Pilot has four presents, one from him, one from Talyn, one from Moya,
and one from the DRDs on both ships.]
John: “It’s the least we could do. After all, you just saved us from Scorpius’
mind-frelling party hats.”
Wayne: “Thank you all so much!” [Wayne eagerly proceeds to open his first
gift, which is from Aeryn. Inside a
small container, is a fork. Wayne lifts
it up and gazes at it with puzzlement.]
Aeryn: [Frowns.]
“I’m sorry. I had the DRDs find
something…I was busy.”
Wayne: “Thanks for the thought anyway.” [Smiles and then opens next gift, which is
from Chiana and Jool. Inside the
container is a toxin for scalps and a bottle of rare Phelip Pheromone.] “Gee, thanks girls.” [Sets aside the questionable gifts and tries
to avoid the disappointing looks from Chiana and Jool.]
D’Argo: “Open mine next!” [Excitedly shoves a delicately wrapped gift over to Wayne. Wayne opens it to find a carving set. He looks to D’Argo with question.] “I got lazy.”
[Wayne
nods and then proceeds to open the gifts from Pilot. The gift from Pilot is a pouch of paradise flower seeds. The gift from Talyn is a defense chip
carrying information on how to defend one’s self against the common UT
cold. And the gift from Moya is a mini
DRD constructed from used conduits.
Wayne graciously accepts all gifts and then looks to the one from
Rygel. The smell is getting to him
already. He carefully opens it to find
squirming Hynerian Marjoules. He wrinkles
his nose in disgust and pushes it towards Rygel.]
Wayne: “I’m sorry, Rygel, but I cannot accept
this.”
Rygel: [Chuckles and takes the Hynerian Marjoules
for himself.] “I knew you’d say that!”
John: [Shoves the final gift towards Wayne.] “Here you go Wayne…something with a little
Earth flair.” [Winks.]
[Wayne
opens the gift carefully, wondering what it could possibly be. He smiles brightly as he reveals six bottles
of beer from the gift. He shakes his
head and shakes John’s hand.]
Wayne: “Beer!
From Earth! Thank you so much!”
John: “Hey…careful with that stuff…it took a long time
to get here and the transport wasn’t so careful with those babies.”
[Just
as John finishes saying this, Wayne opens a beer bottle and the foam begins to
spray all over. He then stands and
allows it to shower over the FS crew around him. John, Chiana, Jool, D’Argo, and Aeryn follow suit with the other
five bottles and a full-blown beer fight begins. The music plays on and Scorpius is still out cold.]
*****
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY WAYNE!!!