THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND Christmas Edition
Author: LeatherGirl
Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape or anything associated with Farscape. I do own the UT Style Christmas Tree and the huge wish list with John Crichton’s name repeated over and over on it!
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John: “No, that’s not it at all! The animals have fuzzy pointed antlers, four legs, a tail…oh never mind.” [John shook his head with frustration. He was speaking with an alien at the bar about his holiday on Earth.]
Alien: [Description would take too long so let’s just say he looks like a tall version of Rygel with eight arms.] “So this creature actually flies for the purpose of what again? What are they transporting? Why do you need eight of them when one should be sufficient enough?”
John: [Takes deep breath and gets up.] “I think I’ll just move to the other end of the bar now.” [Walks down with his flask of fellip nectar and takes seat at end of bar where bartender is cleaning up.]
Bartender: [Notices John’s saddened mood.] “Something troubling you?”
John: [Looks up to bartender with a smile.] “Christmas.”
[Bartender looks at John as if he said something completely off the wall and slowly backs away to clean at the opposite side of the bar. John shakes his head and sighs once more.]
Voice from behind: “Why aren’t you on Moya?”
[John rolls eyes and turns to face Aeryn. She is standing before him in a sour mood.]
John: “Last time I checked, I was old enough to go out on my own.”
[Aeryn frowns at John’s statement and takes a seat next to him at the bar.]
Aeryn: “Crichton, what’s wrong? Are you still upset at Chiana for putting a dent in your module?”
John: [Frowns at the
memory and shakes head.] “No. I’m just a little down, that’s all.
Aeryn: [Wrinkles brow at expression and pauses to try to translate it mentally.] “Oh! Right…the Crisp Moss thing. Zhaan told us all about it. Halloween, Thanks Giving, Crisp Moss…you humans seem to have a celebration for every monen!” [Gets a drink from the bartender and takes a sip of her fellip nectar.]
John: “Aeryn, please. I’m just not in the mood.”
[Aeryn frowns once more. She taps her comms.]
Aeryn: “Pilot, send everyone down here now.”
John: [Looks to Aeryn with question.] “What are you up to?”
Aeryn: “You’ll see.” [Aeryn smiles at John.]
[John does a double take. He could have sworn that he just saw Aeryn wink at him. She downs the rest of her drink and walks through the semi-crowded bar to the door and leaves.]
John: “I’m officially losing it.”
[Microns pass as John wallows in self-pity, drinking his fellip nectar slowly and relishing the taste, trying to somehow make his taste buds believe that it is really beer from Earth. Microns turn into half an arn. John now has had over ten flasks of fellip nectar and has a crowd of aliens around him, laughing and just as buzzed. John is standing on his stool, looking around at the various species of aliens with a flask in hand.]
John: “So Santa is on this roof and looks to his reindeer and says ‘I said the Wren house! Not the dren house!’”
[Aliens laugh uncontrollably. John knows that anything he tells them, no matter how bad the joke, he will get a loud bout of laughter in response.]
John: “That’s enough for now, guys. I need to take a break.”
[John hops down from stool as aliens depart back to their various corners of the bar. Rustling noises and hushed cursing can be heard from the doorway of the bar. John turns to look and lets out a huge laugh. Chiana has the front end of a small, oddly shaped tree-like plant with sparkling holographic lights twinkling about it. D’Argo is holding the other end of the tree and Rygel is hovering beside it, smiling with pride. Several DRDs are zooming into the bar, each with green boughs of synthetic materials resembling leaves placed on top of them. Zhaan and Aeryn enter carrying a large assortment of wrapped gifts. Pilot enters shortly after with food and beverages in his arms. John catches a glimpse of Moya hovering beyond the doorway outside. She is also decked in the cheer of the season, with a large red ribbon tacked onto the top that resembles a crumpled selection of crates. She also glows in luminous reds and greens. John sobers up a little, as he realizes all his shipmates had done for him.]
Chiana: “Merry Crisp Moss, Crichton!” [She and D’Argo place the crooked old tree onto the bar. Several aliens turn to admire it.]
D’Argo: “That thing weighed more than a baby Leviathan. Where did Zhaan get it?” [Catching his breath after carrying the tree.]
Zhaan: “I grew it in the Apothecary using leftover fungi and rearranging the molecular structure to…”
John: [Sticks hand out to Zhaan as he takes a closer look at the tree, a tear coming to his eye.] “Save it Zhaan. Let me just enjoy this, please.”
Aeryn: “You were sulking so we decided to make Crisp Moss for you.”
John: [Glances around with a look of disgust.] “I hope you didn’t mean that literally.” [He smiles to let her know he’s joking but no one seems to understand him.]
Rygel: “Pilot, show him the food we made so we can eat it already!” [Slams a hand impatiently down on his thronesled as he hovers by the tree.]
Pilot: [Moves over to bar and sets down several colorful items of food and flasks of steaming, interesting smelling beverages.] “It’s not easy being multi-tasked and separating myself from Moya just to deliver all this. Next time, you all come to my den to celebrate, please!” [With that, Pilot exits out of bar not waiting to see John’s reaction to all their efforts.]
John: “Can any one say fruit cake?” [Watches Pilot leave bar. He turns to his shipmates to see their puzzled expressions.] “You’d think by now I would start talking like you people…not a chance! How’d y’all know about this anyway?”
Zhaan: [Tilts head as she speaks gently with a smile.] “When you described to me all of your customs, I realized how much you must miss them and your home. I talked with the rest of the crew and we decided to bring this celebration to you.”
Chiana: “Yeah, so start enjoying it.” [With a smirk on her face. Looks to D’Argo and they go to order some drinks from the bartender. Rygel busily sorts through the food and beverages Pilot brought for anything that might look appealing.]
Aeryn: “Is it not like your ‘holo day’ on Earth?” [Looks at all the things they had prepared and then to John.]
John: [Smiles to himself and then to his remaining shipmates standing before him.] “Gotta start new traditions so might as well start now. Christmas in the Uncharted Territories. This should be interesting.” [Picks at the food and beverages Rygel is currently digging through.] “What do we have here?”
[John laughs at all the choices of food, mainly resembling food cubes with red and green dyes in them. The beverages are strange concoctions of liquids that look like eggnog…but even Rygel stays clear of them. The entire gang takes a seat at their usual booth where the loads of wrapped gifts Aeryn and Zhaan had brought are currently awaiting them.]
John: “It’s funny how one can miss a holiday that is so overly commercialized. We never really remember the true meaning of Christmas.” [Takes a drink of his flask of fresh fellip nectar and looks to all of his shipmates.]
Rygel: “And what is that?” [Looks up from his helping of Hynerian modules, care of the bartender.]
John: “I forgot!” [He looks to Rygel and they begin to laugh. The others look at the two as if they have completely lost it.]
Chiana: “Let’s open the presents shall we?” [Licks lips and smiles, leaning forward to hand out the gifts to everyone.]
D’Argo: “I know you all will enjoy what I made. I worked for arns on each of them.” [Smiles and lays his Qualta Blade down on the table so he can clean it.]
Zhaan: [Laughs nervously.] “You didn’t make us sculptures of Talyn did you?”
D’Argo: [Frowns slightly.] “Why does everyone keep asking me that? Of course not!”
[The group lets out a sigh of relief and proceeds to hastily open their gifts from D’Argo. They slow as they realize what exactly each of them got. Miniature carved sculptures of themselves down to the exact detail and carved from a smooth stone found at the last commerce planet they had been to.]
John: “Gee, ah, thanks D’Argo. This is really great.”
[D’Argo smiles with pride and continues to clean his Qualta Blade. When he isn’t looking, the group quickly tosses the sculptures behind them. One sculpture strikes an alien in the next booth. Unfortunately, that alien is Scorpius, who is having a drink with Niem and Crais. He turns with a sour face yet is ignored or simply not seen by the crew. Scorpius shrugs and turns back to Niem and Crais. A miracle of Christmas surely.]
Zhaan: “Well, my gift to all of you is the spirituality of Crisp Moss that Crichton mentioned earlier. When ever you are in need of spirituality, I will graciously offer you some guidance.”
Chiana: “That’s sweet, Zhaan. But everyone’s going to love what I got them!” [Passes out tiny little gifts to each shipmate at the table. Everyone opens their gifts to discover ten free flask chips for drinks at the Fellip Nectar Stand.]
Rygel: “Finally, a sensible gift.” [Immediately uses up a few flask chips to order drinks for everyone at the table.] “My gift to you.” [Rygel adds with a chuckle.]
Aeryn: “Rygel…forget it.” [Aeryn decided to not even bother. She instead handed out her gifts to everyone. They were small containers and unwrapped.]
John: “A holo chip. What’s on it?” [He opens his gift and holds up the holo chip in question.]
Aeryn: “PeaceKeeper Training Tactics. I figured you all should be informed on the proper fighting techniques if you want to survive out here.”
Chiana: [She and John exchange glances, barely able to contain their laughter.] “Ah, thanks. I’ll keep this in mind next time we run into any unforeseen dangers.”
[Aeryn frowns at the group and takes out her pulse pistol to clean it like D’Argo was currently distracted cleaning his own weapon.]
John: [Leans over to Chiana and whispers.] “You think she’d realize we know how to survive…we’ve been together for two cycles.”
Zhaan: [Takes drink of her fellip nectar and smiles at John.] “Did we recreate your Crisp Moss like you celebrate it on Earth?”
[John looks around at all the festivities at the stand. The DRDs are almost dancing on the dance floor, zooming around aliens’ feet. The tree on the bar is sparkling and has nearly ten different species of aliens gawking at it in wonder, poking at it and whispering amongst themselves. John looks to his shipmates, who are enjoying their drinks and gifts. He smiles at Zhaan.]
John: “As close as its gonna get, that’s for sure! Thanks, guys. Now we have new traditions to celebrate right here in the Uncharted Territories. I wish to you all a merry next cycle and the hopes of finding all that you are looking for.” [Holds up his flask and awaits the others to tap theirs against his. He unfortunately realizes that they do not understand this custom. He doesn’t mind though. John drinks his fellip nectar and joins in on the laughter and fun. Zhaan and Rygel begin a game of flipping the free flask chip into a flask and Chiana entertains D’Argo.]
Chiana: “D’Argo, the storage facility is open! Let’s go!” [She and D’Argo rush off to the opened door to the storage facility.]
[Aeryn looks to John amidst the celebration with a curious expression.]
Aeryn: “Did you want to give us all something as well? You had no warning.”
John: “I give all of you my earthly sayings. Maybe someday I won’t feel so homesick anymore and you all will begin talking like me.”
Aeryn: [Rolls eyes at John.] “I don’t think so, Crichton.” [She turns to take in the festive sights at the bar. John notes the twinkle of content in Aeryn’s eyes.]
John: “You like Crisp Moss, don’t you?”
Aeryn: [Turns, startled that she had been found out.] “I…I…”
John: “Why look, there’s mistletoe above us…guess that means I’m gonna have to kiss you.” [John leans in just as Aeryn glances up to see nothing there and is surprised by a long, warm kiss from John. She kisses him back even harder.]
Aeryn: [Releases from lip lock. Pretends to be angry.] “What kind of custom is that?”
John: “Just wait until New Year’s Eve!” [Raises eyebrows a few times at her and leans in for another kiss. She welcomes him and wraps her arms around him. John wraps his arms around her and they roll down underneath the booth. Zhaan and Rygel begin to get more sloshed by the micron and are later joined by Scorpius, Niem, and Crais in their little game of chips. All is well at the Fellip Nectar Stand and bright, white flaky stuff begins to fall within, created by the DRDs. Music plays and lights twinkle. Laughing rises and echoes into space as we zoom out the window and into darkness.]
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MERRY CHRISTMAS SCAPERS!!!