That first Meeting

As we continued our decent, the raindrops glistened on the small window pane as the sun began to shimmer through the now parting clouds and I strained to see the airport. Then suddenly wheels touched down and engines roared as the pilot threw the engines into reverse and brought the big jet down the runway, slowing it to what seemed like a crawl. It seemed an eternity was passing as the jet taxied toward the waiting arm jutting out from the terminal just in front of us. Never taking my eyes off the windows that looked into the terminal, I waited as the plane came to a full stop, straining to catch just one glimpse of her. I knew that I would know her, her face was etched in my mind's eye.

When I entered the terminal my eyes scanned the crowd, searching, searching. Then there she was, leaning leisurely against the far wall. As our eyes met, my heart began to race. I quickly made my way to her; her eyes never leaving mine, my gaze fixed upon her. She looked so calm; I felt so nervous. She never stopped leaning against that wall until I was within arms reach. Then she reached out and took me in her arms and held me close to her. I felt my body trembling and she whispered close to my ear, her hot breath sending chills down my spine, "Calm down, its OK." All I could do was hold her tighter.

We talked and laughed as we made our way to her car, oblivious to those around us. I longed to reach out and hold her hand, to kiss her right there in front of God and everyone. My mind was racing. What does she think of me? Am I what she expected. Is she feeling what I'm feeling? I thought back to our many conversations over the past two months and how we had both felt love and desire. Oh! how I loved and desired her right then. I knew instantly that I was in love with her, but what was she feeling?

The air was warm as we drove through town, Beth acting as tour guide and pointing out the sights in the diminishing light of day. Turning to face her as she drove, I hesitantly reached out and ran my fingers through her beautiful blonde hair. She didn't bolt!! She turned to me and smiled. As my fingers continued to play in her hair, she drove and smiled. We drove past the university, which she proudly pointed out housed her Wildcats, the basketball team she loved so dearly. Past the houses and farms she knew so well, till finally looming in front of us was our destination. She had chosen an elegant hotel on the edge of Lexington that was aglow with high hung chandeliers that set a romantic mood to the surroundings and thick carpeting that hid any sound that would disturb the atmosphere. Here is where we would finally be alone, hidden from the outside world.

She walked to the elevator with the confidence of a woman knowing exactly what she wanted. She opened the door onto a beautiful suite lavished with the same thick carpets that had greeted us as we arrived and that same eloquent decor. She had planned this well. I had to smile as I entered the bedroom that housed two queen sized beds. As she set the luggage on the closest bed, I wandered over to the window to admire the beautiful view. An illuminated fountain was the centerpiece to the immaculately manicured grounds surrounding the hotel, with shops along the perimeter. As I stood there admiring the view, afraid to turn around, she slipped her arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck. I leaned back against her with eyes closed, and enjoyed the feel of her lips on my skin. Slowly I turned to face her and looked deep into her blue eyes. She was so beautiful and I was so much in love with her. She leaned closer and as our lips met my body began to tremble. We had both waited so long for this first kiss, this first taste of each others lips. She had to giggle as she held my trembling body to keep me from falling over. All she could say was "Calm down, everything's OK." All I could do was hold her tighter.

Her kisses were gentle at first, then became more passionate as my fears subsided and my trembling body relaxed in her arms. We kissed with a desire that had been to long locked up waiting for release. Our bodies became one, molding together like perfectly matching pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Her kisses left my lips only to travel down my neck, sending wave after wave of shivers cursing through my body. As a soft moan escaped my throat she whispered, "God I love you so much Annie." In spite of our desires we reluctantly pulled apart. We had a plan. We were not going to give in to these passions. We were going to talk and get to know each other.

After straightening out our rumpled clothes we went to the livingroom. Sitting together on the divan, holding hands, we began talking. We discussed the issues that were coming between us. Beth, beings from Kentucky, was in the closet. How could she give me what I so desperately desired out of a relationship, she was saying. All I asked was for her to take small steps towards coming out; maybe not to the world, but at least to her roommate so we didn't have to hide in order to talk. To know that she loved me was enough to sustain me through anything else.

I was listening but the words were flying by in a blur. What was she saying? She could no longer go on hurting me? Hurting me? What was she talking about? I was happier now than I'd ever been. She had to let me go; she had to walk away? What the hell was going on. This was making no since at all. My head was spinning. What was she doing? This is not how I expected our conversation to go. This is not what I wanted. I couldn't believe my ears. The girl I loved so deeply was willing to throw us away. She had made the decision for both of us. Tears filled my eyes and flowed down my cheeks as I clung to her. There was nothing I could do, nothing I could say, she had made up her mind that this was best for both of us. I needed to find someone that could love me like I deserved to be loved? Wasn't that her?

I tried to wipe the thoughts from my head. This was a dream and at any moment I was going to wake up. I walked to the bed and lay on top of the covers, wanting desperately for this dream to be over. She came and lay down beside me, holding me in her arms while the tears streamed down my face and my body shook with the sobs bellowing from me. Dear God, let me wake up from this nightmare. She rocked me as I continued to cry. The tears seemed to be never-ending. She whispered, "Don't cry darlin'" and stroked my hair. She continued to rock me until my sobs turned to silent tears. I lay in her arms thinking about what could have been and how would I go on without her. She looked down at me and whispered, "Don't hate me Annie, know that I'm doing this for you. I love you with all my heart but you deserve better than me. Lets just enjoy what we have now and not think about the future. Lets enjoy each other while we are here." I'll never understand those words and they'll haunt me forever. If this is for me, why does it hurt so much? Love is not supposed to hurt.

Looking up at her, I reached up and ran my fingers through her hair. She leaned down and kissed me gently. She pressed her lips close to my ear and whispered, "I love you Annie, I want to make love to you." My love for her was so strong, I could think of nothing else I'd rather do. Slowly and tenderly she began to lavish upon me more love than I had ever felt. With deft fingers caressing every inch of my body she brought more pleasure than I thought possible. Our bodies melted together and moved as one to the symphony only true lovers can hear. Each wanting only to please the other our love making reached the crescendo of ecstasy.

We lay in each others arms relishing in the afterglow of love. Her head resting in the crook of my arm; her leg draped leisurely across mine, we talked and cried together. When I thought what Sunday would bring, I cried and she would soothe me with her soft words. We would not think about that, we would only think about loving each other here and now.