12-Jun-2000
Title: Reclaiming Quatre
Author: bonnejeanne (bonnejeanne@yahoo.com) and vonceia (vonceia@yahoo.com)
Archive: GW Addiction
Category: yaoi, AU
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Various
Warnings: A thinly veiled excuse for LEMONade. Zechs completely OOC.
Possibly other characters OOC
Spoilers: Series
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the
copyright owners. Our stuff is ours. No money being made here.
Notes: This is set in an Alternate Universe. The premise is the same as the
original series universe up to a point. The point is that at the time of
the final confrontation between White Fang and the Alliance (and the
Gundams), Libra's big cannon goes out of whack and instead of ramming Earth
with Libra, Zechs decides on an extended guerilla war with Earth.
Peacemillion becomes the base for a small group from the Colonies opposing
White Fang, including (of course) the Gundam pilots. This has been dragging
on for some weeks. Things have gotten a bit weird. Zechs is totally out
there in this one, we know, we're sorry, sort of, and we'll try to make it
up to him. He's just so pretty... This is NOT an epic!! Just may have a
couple more parts after this.
This includes flashbacks, indicated with / / / / / / / / / dividers.
The first part is very dark and angsty, the last half is a bit ridiculous.
IMPORTANT: Though it appears they might, NOBODY DIES. Promise.
As with all our fics so far, while our goal is to stay as in character as
possible, any discrepancies are our mistakes.
Feedback: Any and all comments, feedback, critiques welcome, be they short
or long.
Quatre shivered in his sleep as the man with the white hair touched his stomach. In the dream, he heard himself moan as soft lips trailed kisses down his inner thigh and then back up. His skin felt on fire and he knew that next touch, the next kiss would drive him insane. Somewhere in the darkness, he felt as if the Zero system awaited him. One more kiss and he would know a madness from which he would never return.
Duo lit a small candle in Heero's room. He looked down, watching Quatre sleep. Heero had said that the drug would wear off in the next twenty minutes, but the way the little blond was moaning and tossing, Duo thought it would be any time now. This was going to be very delicate. In one way, it might have been better to have Heero take the 'first watch'. Quatre was expecting to see only Heero, if he expected to wake at all. But Duo knew what it was like to want to die. He knew what it was like to feel betrayed by your body. He felt instinctively that he could understand best what Quatre was feeling.
He undressed, laying his black pants next to his boots and the black over- and white under-shirt. He had a third shirt on as well, a black t-shirt, which he left on - no sense in scaring Quatre to death. He came and sat on the bed, noticing the beads of perspiration on Quatre's forehead and upper lip. He moaned again, and the tone of it was so anguished that Duo decided to try and wake him.
"Quatre," he said, lifting the blond up a little, taking him in his arms as he would a child with night-terrors. "Quatre." a bit louder. He gave the Arabian a gentle shake.
Quatre awoke with a start. He blinked, feeling heavy-headed, and attempted to determine if he was alive, dead or dreaming. "Where.. am I?" he said, softly with a troubled look on his face.
Duo brushed his bangs back a little. He picked up the cup of water he'd already brought to the table beside the bed and held it to Quatre's lips. "You're awake... and you're in Heero's room, on the Peacemillion," he said in a calm, soothing voice.
The brush of the hand on his forehead made Quatre gasp. He shivered feeling the immediate wave of pleasure wash over him and cause him to ache in his groin. He looked up at the face that resembled Duo Maxwell and drank the water he was offered. 'Could be another trick by Zechs,' he thought. When he heard Heero's name, his eyes widened. "Heero," he whispered hopefully.
"No, it's me, Duo," Duo said, taking a deep breath. "It's okay, you're just disoriented. No wonder. First the captivity, then that pill Heero gave you. Although it was a good idea, the pill I mean. You need to rest. How do you feel?"
Quatre's eyes widened again. "Groggy," he said. Then, "Duo? Duo! You're all right! You've got to get back. One of us has to make it out!" Looking around, Quatre placed his arms around Duo and hugged him tightly. "Don't worry about me, Duo. Go on now! Leave..."
Duo winced, Quatre's words hitting his guilt complex dead center. I did leave him. Of course, I didn't have much choice... Zechs' goons stuffed me into a suit, stuck me in a pod and shot it off into space. I'm damn lucky I made it to Peacemillion. But I should have turned around immediately to get you back, Quatre...
Duo took a cloth from the table, moistened it with the water and wiped Quatre's face. "Quatre, calm down. Yeah, hold onto me, that's good. Now listen to me. I'm safe, you are safe. This is Heero's room on Peacemillion. You remember... you said Zechs let you go. You got here. You snuck into the ship and found Heero's room. Remember?"
Shaking a little, Quatre peered up at Duo. The words were beginning to match things that he remembered. He nodded. "Yes," he said, and then a flood of images came back to him. Quatre blinked and then realized that he was holding Duo. He moaned slightly as the body in his arms became more distinct. "Duo you have to go. I don't... I don't want to hurt you. You shouldn't see me like this. Where is Heero?" he said, in a near panic, even though he did not move his arms away.
Duo smiled slightly, his expression only a little sad. "Heero is close by. But I'm here to stay with you for a while. I'm not going anywhere. Hurt me?" Duo smiled. "You aren't gonna hurt me. Remember when you stepped into Deathscythe's hand? You didn't know me at all, you only knew I was a Gundam pilot, we'd talked... a couple of times over the comm. But you stepped into my Gundam's hand without fear. Now I want you to do that again. I want you to rest in my arms, Quatre. Without fear. Knowing I would never hurt you. Can you do that?"
Quatre looked up as Duo spoke. His eyes moved up and over Duo's face as if he were seeing Duo for the first time. Finally, his gaze rested on Duo's mouth and he licked his lips. "Yes," Quatre said. "I can do whatever you say, now kiss me."
Duo smiled. "I will. But you are trusting me, remember. Now, do you realize you just told me to kiss you?"
Quatre nodded. "I do something wrong?" he asked. "I can do it better. I know how."
Duo blinked and then pulled Quatre tighter against him. "So... you don't remember... asking Heero to... uh... kill you?"
Quatre blinked. "Heero," he said. "Oh gods. Where is he? You .... the others.. No one was supposed to be here. Just Heero!"
"I told you, he's close by. But don't blame him, it's not his fault. Now, Quatre... are you really back with me? All of you? I need to know."
"Yes," Quatre said, his mind clearing rapidly. "I'm here. You should go."
"I'm not goin' anywhere," Duo answered firmly. "I'm gonna stay with you. And we're gonna... talk. About you. About this idea you had of getting Heero to kill you. Now Quatre you know I am Shinigami... if you plan to head into my realm, you have to tell me why."
Quatre frowned. What Duo was saying was making some sense to him. "I can't do this anymore. I will be a liability to you and the others. Don't you understand? Zechs knows things about me. I've done things. I'm feeling... a lot of things. I am not safe to be around."
"Okay," Duo said, stroking Quatre's back gently. "Not safe... how? You gonna hit me on the head and blow up the ship?"
Quatre shook his head. "No! I can't be a part of the team anymore. He... he has words that he can say and I... I'm not myself. I'm not the Quatre you knew Duo. That Quatre is dead. What's left is not Gundam material."
Silently, Duo cursed Zechs with ritual familiarity. "Now listen. The 'old Quatre' is not dead. He's still in there," he said, tapping Quatre's forehead gently. "He's just a bit confused and shocked by his new room mate - the new Quatre. But I think the two of you can learn to get along in time. And who knows, you might even be stronger than you were before. Listen to me, kid, I know something about this. I'm not named Duo for nothing. So you don't think the new kid is Gundam pilot material? Well then tell me about him. Why isn't he?"
Quatre blushed scarlet. "He... he cannot think straight. He cannot control himself... his body," Quatre said, feeling a little better talking about himself in third person. "He... he has compromised himself. He isn't a male anymore.. He's a thing with vile tastes. He doesn't deserve and must never... ever... see or touch Trowa," Quatre finished quietly, hanging his head.
Duo bit his lip. Damn the kid was messed up! 'Never ever see or...' Geez! Duo took a deep breath. "Hmmm," he said. "Interesting. So he isn't a... male anymore, " trying to keep his expression normal, "And he has... vile tastes. I see. Tell me about these vile tastes, which I assume no Gundam pilot could possibly have."
Quatre made a little strangled noise. "No," he said softly. "It's wrong... A Gundam pilot has to be strong and.. right. Unwavering.. H...he can hardly keep clothes on, let alone pants! And he... sucks." Quatre hung his head again.
Duo grabbed his face... freezing his muscles to try and keep the grin from emerging. "He... sucks, huh? And a Gundam pilot wouldn't do that, right? Um, Quatre, what if I told you that there might possibly be a Gundam pilot in existence who... sucks...?"
Quatre's eyes grew round as saucers. "No," he said in hesitant disbelief. He quickly ran through the roster of Gundam pilots trying to figure out which one was capable, but in the end any choice seemed ridiculous to him. "I don't.. I can't think of.. Who?" he asked.
Duo did allow a slight smile onto his face. He thought: 'Trowa... battalion... you poor kid...' "I'll tell you, but only if you tell me what would that mean? Would it mean this new Quatre kid might not be so bad?"
Quatre made a face, and then looked up at Duo. He shrugged. "That's not the only thing he does though," he offered. "But, I guess.. I don't know. It might be that way."
Duo nodded, thinking, maybe we are making progress here. "Okay, well I do know a Gundam pilot who does that awful thing. This guy does a lot of awful things. I bet this guy has done things your new self hasn't even thought of before," he said, thinking savagely, Zechs, you amateur! "This guy can be pretty loose with his body too. Sure, he has another side, that's all business when it has to be, but I bet you would be very surprised at some of the things this guy does for... enjoyment, when the opportunity presents itself."
"Does he get tied up and... and do it with Zechs Merquise? And like it?!" Quatre asked.
Duo frowned. He chewed his lip. "Well, he has done that... and I guess," he said grudgingly, "I guess he liked it some. It sure beat getting pounced on by that witch Catalonia... um, but is that the worst thing you can think of Quatre? And do you want to know who this guy is?"
"Dorothy?" Quatre asked, then remembered the one time she had broken into Zechs quarters on Libra. "Oh yeah," he said, then, "Who is this guy? And the worst thing I can think of is voluntarily submitting... like.. like some common tramp in a bazaar."
Duo blinked. "Hey watch that common tramp.. uh... Okay, Quatre, I will tell you who he is, but maybe I shouldn't. What if you decide to despise him? That might hurt the poor guy cause he really likes you. I don't know... you seem pretty judgmental, little buddy."
Quatre took a deep breath. He felt guilty because Duo spoke the truth. He was being judgmental. "I'm sorry, Duo." he said. "You are right. I shouldn't be judgmental. I was really only thinking about me. That's how I feel... Like a ...tramp."
Duo waggled his finger in front of Quatre's face. "Yeah, but if you judge yourself that harshly, you'll judge others as well. If you cut this dude some slack, you have to extend that to yourself. Deal?"
Quatre took another breath and nodded. "Right again. It's a deal," he said, even though he still had a hard time believing that any of the pilots would be as unclean as himself.
Duo smiled. "Okay, the guy is... me. Yours truly, Duo Maxwell, alias Shinigami the God of Death." He inclines his head in a bow.
Quatre's mouth dropped open. "What?.. No... Oh, Duo." Quatre said, apologetically. Then another thought came to him. Perhaps, Duo was just having him on. This was one of Duo's jokes. Quatre leaned back, folding his arms. "That's a good one, Duo. I get it. Feed me a line and I bite and I don't feel bad anymore."
Duo smiled, and his eyebrows titled. It was a slightly wicked expression. "I'm not joking, Quatre."
Quatre nodded. "Yeah, right. Nice try, Duo." he said.
Duo's smile widened and became more... wicked. "I guess I'll just hafta prove it to ya... and I was so hoping I would have to, Quatre. You see, what you don't realize is that I have had thoughts about you which your sweet alter ego would not have understood or approved of, for, oh the longest time. Since that time I stayed with you and the Maganacs. You are a sweet guy and you have a beautiful face, a lovely body and the biggest eyes I've ever seen. But Shinigami has a shady past, Quatre. So I figured it was better to leave you alone and give you a chance at something a bit more... normal?" he thought about Trowa... the battalion, and shrugged. "Well anyway. I am here to help you, my dear friend. I'm goin' to try and help you accept this new side of yourself. So the first thing is to realize that other people beside you have done nasty, terrible things and still walk the light of day, and hold their heads up, and get in their Gundams and fight. Are you with me?"
Duo took Quatre's face in his hands and kissed him, parting his lips and letting his tongue go questing in Quatre's clean, sweet-tasting mouth.
Quatre listened to Duo, a part of him accepting and a part of him, thinking that this was just not possible. When Duo kissed him, Quatre resisted a little, thinking that Duo just didn't understand. A few moments later when he felt Duo's tongue in his mouth, Quatre had a doubt.
He tasted Duo's tongue hungrily as he felt his body relax and throb in response. As the kiss progressed and Quatre lost himself in it, he knew for certain that Duo was telling the truth. Reaching up, he placed his hand on Duo's shoulder, as a feeling of relief flooded him. 'Yes,' he thought, 'Perhaps Duo did understand."
Duo began to slide Quatre's body down a little on the bed, as he continued to kiss him deeply. He felt the response, which didn't surprise him, he had a pretty good idea what state the boy was in, and he felt Quatre reach up to hold him. Good. Rape is not on the agenda, he thought, nor was it ever. He lifted his mouth and kissed Quatre's neck, licking the pale skin. He then whispered into Quatre's ear. "Now... I believe you said this new, bad Quatre... sucks? But what, I wonder, does he suck... I'll show you what I suck... you tell me if it's the same or not." Then Duo took Quatre's earlobe into his mouth and began sucking it, and teasing it with his tongue.
Quatre's eyes fluttered and he moaned as he felt Duo's mouth on his lobe. "Mmmm," he moaned. "Oh gods, Duo. That feels wonderful." Closing his eyes, Quatre felt his breath coming in short gasps. He smiled a little. "No, silly. It's not earlobes, though this is very, very nice. Oh, Duo.. No, it's ...umm"
Duo smiled, his own cock already hard and aching with the sight, sound and feeling of the blond in his arms. "But that's not all I suck..." he said softly. He reached down and deftly unfastened the buttons on the shirt Quatre was wearing.... Zechs' shirt. He opened it all the way down, realizing it was the only clothing the boy was wearing. Well, that makes it easier. He saw that Quatre was also responding with a rearing erection. Time for that, soon enough. Duo bent and kissed Quatre's chest, licking one of his nipples. Then he closed his mouth over it and began to suck and lick it, moving after a while to the other, and then back.
"Oh Duo, yes," Quatre hissed leaning back against the bed. "Forgot about those.. Yes, oh.. Duo." Quatre responded sliding his hands around Duo's head, moaning as the sensations moved through his body.
Duo smiled, licking Quatre's body like a large beast of prey. "Then of course there is that other thing you can suck," he said in a soft purr, looking into Quatre's eyes. "Was that what you meant" A Gundam pilot would never suck a... cock?"
Panting, Quatre looked into the violet depths of Duo's eyes as he spoke. He blinked and nodded when Duo spoke about what a Gundam pilot would never suck. "Yeah," he whispered, as his hands flexed and relaxed, suddenly wanting something in them to squeeze.
"In-cor-rect!" Duo said, grinning. "Shinigami... goes down," he added. Then he did.
Duo's lips touched the head of Quatre's throbbing erection as his hand wrapped around the base. He flicked his tongue across it several times, feeling Quatre's body arch and shudder. Parting his lips, he began to slowly swallow the stiff flesh, tasting the bit of pre-come, sliding his tongue around as he went, intent on a full meal of Quatre Reberba Winner.
Quatre's hands gripped the bed covers as he felt Duo's tongue drive him into ecstasy. "Oh, gods," he panted. "Sandrock goes up." He groaned loudly and swore at himself in his head. Soon the voices inside which called him names ceased and the only thing he could think of was that Shinigami was going down. He eyes opened wide, however, when the full reality of what Duo had confessed to him sank into his head. 'He's done this before!' he thought, then leaned his head back against the bed and became lost in feeling.
Duo's head moved up, then down, repeating this motion. His braid slid around his shoulders and across Quatre's stomach like a soft rope. Duo released Quatre's cock from his mouth long enough to lick around the base, and around and under the flesh that enclosed the firm oval shapes beneath. Then he licked his way back up and swallowed Quatre again, taking him a little deeper. He used skills he developed over many encounters, carefully relaxing his throat to take Quatre deeper still, then sweep up and down the shaft in an increasingly paced rhythm. His free hand moved across Quatre's thighs and stroked the sensitive skin along their inner surfaces, caressing from knee upwards.
Quatre moaned loudly again, feeling the maddening sensation of Duo's hands on his thighs. Duo's mouth was driving him further over the edge and all Quatre could do was hold on. His hips moved with Duo's motion. Soon Quatre felt his body jerk and he released into the warm, waiting mouth of Duo.
Duo felt Quatre's body jerk, and swallowed the warm liquid that spurted forth, continuing the move around him, smearing the stuff, then licking up, swallowing, until he had cleaned most of it from the now shrinking flesh. He kissed it a last time, and moved up, wiping the corner of his mouth as his looked down into Quatre's eyes, his own face quite open.
"That was nice," he said. "And I liked it. A lot."
Quatre smiled adoringly up at Duo. He then pulled Duo down and kissed him deeply, tasting himself on Duo's tongue as they kissed. "Thank you, Duo," Quatre said. "So did I."
Duo sighed. "Okay so now tell me that you can't be a Gundam pilot any more," he said softly, watching Quatre's face intently.
Quatre's shoulders slumped. "Ok." he said, "I guess I can be a Gundam pilot. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, Duo. Still, I don't feel worthy to pilot Sandrock. And it's got little to do with sucking, I guess."
Duo brushed Quatre's hair tenderly. "Tell me what it has to do with," he said firmly.
"It has to do with fear," Quatre said. "Really, I'm afraid to go out there again. I can be controlled too easily. First the Zero system and now Zechs. That's still a liability. And, oh gods, Duo. What would I ever say to Trowa? How could I ever face him again... Not to mention Wufei."
Duo listened closely. "Quatre, I think I understand. You may not believe this, but there was a time when I thought something similar about myself. I thought I was... a pussy, I guess. I thought because I did what I had to do, that meant I was a victim of circumstance. Now you may not believe this right now, But I do believe in you. I don't think you are that easily controlled. I think Zechs got the drop on ya. He hit you with something you weren't expecting. But you can get control again. You can learn what this is and how to use it. The same with the Zero system," Duo continued bravely, suppressing his own internal shudder. "The system got the drop on ya too. You didn't know what you were dealing with. But Quatre, you can get stronger again. I'm here to help. So are the others. We have faith in you. I'm asking you to have faith in us."
Quatre sighed deeply. "Oh I don't know, Duo. I can believe you understand, but Zechs was right in a way. He said I'd always be his. I just don't want to drag you and the others down. Maybe it would be best if they just remembered ... the other Quatre."
Duo shook his head. "No," he said firmly. "I don't accept that Zechs is right about *anything*. You can't be his Quatre... because you belong to us first. Didn't you feel that? I just took back a piece of Quatre... a piece that belongs to me now. Remember it. I'll take back more pieces too. And I won't be the only one. Because I love you. And the others love you. We aren't giving up to Zechs, we are going to fight him for you, and take back everything he tried to steal from us. Every part of you. I don't just want the 'old Quatre'... I want the whole Quatre... all of you. Zechs is a thief but I'm a better one... there's nothing he can steal that I can't steal back and I have the best co-conspirators in the universe to help."
Quatre felt tears spill over his cheeks and he nodded. "Thank you Duo," he said. "How can I be so selfish? I will try hard. I believe you can do the impossible. I just hope I can match you. About the others... I don't know. They are all very honorable people, and I don't mean that you aren't. You are gallant and wise. I love you for that and now I have reasons that go beyond just what I knew before. I guess I'm just weak right now. And to someone like Wufei, for instance, that means I don't exist. And Trowa... oh Duo. I... he's everything wonderful, and now.. I'm... I just feel the presence of Zechs so strongly. Do you understand?"
Duo nodded grimly. "Yeah," he said. "I got it. But in time, Zechs will be a pathetic memory. Now all I'm asking is that you try and be patient with yourself, and try and allow that there may be things you don't know... like there were about me. You weren't ready to know, before. Now maybe you are. Now maybe you can accept things about your teammates that you might not have been able to handle before. No, don't think about it right now. Just rest here. Sleep if you can. I'm going to tell you a little story while you try to sleep, okay?"
"Ok," Quatre said as he reached up and touched Duo's face. "I'll try and sleep."
"Good," Duo said, and kissed him. "Now the story. Once upon a time there was a very strong warrior. He was fast and efficient, and he was the most honorable warrior around, he even self-destructed once when it was thought to be the right thing to do - if a bit extreme. This guy was the very epitome of everything strong and tough and... you get the idea. But this guy had a secret. The secret was, he had feelings. He didn't always know what to do with em, but he had em. And one day, he found he couldn't escape them any more. It was a problem. But it worked out because this guy had an ally he didn't even know about. A laughing clown they called Death..."
'A laughing clown called Death,' Quatre thought as he drifted off to sleep.
Duo watched Quatre sleep for a little while. Then he got up, being very careful. His own body ached. He'd gotten very, very aroused but had spent his attention on the blond boy and ignored his own needs for a while. Taking the rest of the cup of water, he threw it in his own face and wiped the excess off.
Picking up his clothes, he went to the door that led to the adjoining room and opened it. Heero was on the other side, sitting at his laptop. He looked up as Duo came in.
Heero stopped typing and stood up. His took in Duo's appearance, made an assessment and then moved to him. "Are you all right?" he asked Duo, putting his arms around him.
Duo dropped his clothes on the floor and leaned against Heero's solid form, rubbing himself against the Japanese boy. "I'm fine... apart from a major case of blueballs." he said. "Poor Quatre. But it went pretty well, I think. He's got a long way to go, but he's not actually suicidal any more and he seems to have accepted that just being a cocksucker alone is not reason for disqualification of piloting a Gundam."
Heero leaned back a little, looking into Duo's large eyes. "It's a good thing," he said, moving to his knees and taking Duo's hardened flesh into his mouth. He reached up cupping Duo's soft sac in his hand as the other one took Duo's hard shaft by the base.
"Uhn... " Duo groaned softly. "Damn right it's a good thing, that would let more than half of us out and I'm not too sure about Wufei... maybe all of us... oh, Heero... whatever you do... don't... stop..."
TBC
Comments eagerly welcomed, flames accepted.
bonnejeanne & vonceia
Please send comments to: bonnejeanne@yahoo.com or vonceia@yahoo.com