Title: Wufei's Spirits
Author: vonceia (vonceia@yahoo.com)
Archive: GW Addiction
Category: fun
Rating: PG-13 for language
Pairings: 5+6
Warnings: Repeated uses of the word 'penis'; Drunk Wufei
Spoilers: Series... Endless Waltz...
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Our stuff is ours. No money being made here.
For those not familiar with Endless Waltz, "Wind" is a code name taken by Zechs.
As with all our fics so far, this is the first time I are doing some characters, so, while my goal is to stay as in character as possible, any discrepancies are my mistakes.
Feedback: Any and all comments, feedback, critiques welcome, be they short or long.
He knew he shouldn't have done it. He knew that the wine was too strong and that it had been mixed with something that the beautiful, young witch had said would ease his troubled head and make him forget his worries for awhile. In the end, Chang Wufei had not drank the three bottles of sweet wine because a beautiful onna had said that he should. No. He drank the three bottles of wine, because she said… that no "child" could do it.
The part of Chang Wufei's mind that was the scholar calculated the probabilities of such actions and reasoned that due to his slight frame and body weight, one bottle of wine would probably be sufficient to impair him. Two bottles of wine over an extended period of time would probably have the effect of making him dizzy and impaired enough to possibly pass out. Frequent trips to relieve himself were also calculated in those summations as well. Three bottles, however, represented the Great Unknown to Wufei and coupled with the insult to his manhood, Chang Wufei took up the challenge.
The first taste of the wine brought a slight wrinkle to Wufei's brow, but the taste was not as unpleasant as he had anticipated. In fact, the wine tasted cool and sweet. After a few moments, he felt his temperature rise and a fine sheen of moisture coat his face, but those things were not enough to stop him from continuing. The people gathered at the bar cheered him on and beautiful witch girl clapped her hands… It was not that Wufei was trying to impress anyone… he wasn't. He was simply a man not to be outdone by a woman.
After the half of the bottle, Wufei felt very relaxed and warm. People in the bar cheered as he crashed the bottle against the stone fireplace. Even the witch woman patted him on the back. She also opened the second bottle as she watched the Chinese with interest.
Wufei felt himself smiling more than was necessary, but he reasoned that he was happy. He had destroyed one bottle. Surely, the other two would not take long to down and finally that annoying woman would be put in her place. He grabbed the second bottle and raised it, as everyone in the bar, he thought, had come to expect and placed it to his lips. The liquid did not seem to blaze down his throat as the first drink had. It was cool and then a few moments later, Wufei felt the familiar flush to his skin. He opened the white coat to get some air. That seemed to help and he smiled again.
"A toast!" someone called out and Wufei stood up, a little unsteadily on his feet.
"To Nataku!" he called out and the room burst into spontaneous applause, with many of the denizens drinking to Nataku as well.
Wufei placed the bottle to his lips and tipped it to the sky. That time, he poured the liquid, nearly all of it, down his throat without pause. He felt it warm his stomach and that familiar heat flush radiated once again.
"You are doing well, little man," the woman said, with a smile. "But… you still have one more bottle to get through. And then…," she continued, with a provocative gleam in her eye. "I will see how much of a man you truly are!"
Wufei finished the bottle off and threw it at the fireplace, sending shards flying in ever direction. "Just give me the bottle, onna," he groused, his speech a little slurred. "What are you babbling …onna!? I'mmm….man! You.. should … home.. n… children… man.." he continued, understanding every word, even though no one else could.
The woman licked her lips. She had him almost where she wanted him. 'My dreams are about to come true,' she thought. 'I want a Gundam ride and a night with a Gundam pilot…This one will do!'
Wufei frowned, suddenly. Then he picked up the last bottle. "Tooos!" he called out, not grasping that the tone of his voice had called all of the patrons to attention and sobered up a few. He waved the bottle in the air to take the place of the words in his head and said, "Na….t..kuuuuu!!!!"
When it was clear that he was raising a toast, the people in the bar waved and cheered him on. Taking a deep breath, Wufei put the bottle to his lips and upended it much in the same manner as he had done the previous bottle. He closed his eyes and stood uncannily still as he poured the entire contents of the bottle down his throat.
The few people who were still watching, gaped in surprise, wonder and admiration. When he finally opened his eyes and stood up straight, a spontaneous cheer, louder than the others burst out in the room. Turning the bottle in his hand, Wufei spun around, crashed the bottle into the fireplace and came back to rest in a classic Repel Monkey stance.
Several men crowded around him, patting Wufei on the back and cheering him on. Many wanted to buy him a drink or another bottle of wine. The woman thought that this was all good and well, and she was willing to allow him a little fun, before she reclaimed him for the evening. What she did not count on was that Wufei's admirers would want to express their devotion to him all night and that Wufei's inebriated state would instill in him a sense of responsibility to his many adoring fans. In short, he liked it. When the men stood him on the bar top and cheered him further, Wufei folded his arms and scanned the crowd in what his fevered mind hoped would be humble graciousness.
The woman huffed when she saw several women move to pay tribute to the new hero of the bar. She fought her way through the throng of people and stood in front of Wufei with her hands on her hips. "Well," she said and was pleased when he looked down at her. "Are you finished? There is still the matter between us to settle.. in my room!"
There were a few whistles and catcalls at her statement, but Chang Wufei was unmoved.
Wufei laughed. "Onna!" he said, "Be gone! I have proved my man! I'm a man! I do not bow to the commands of the onna!"
The people were impressed. "OOOoooo," the cooed.
The beautiful woman, who was annoyed became furious. She did not like to be embarrassed, especially by a half grown little boy. "That might be," she said. "But just because you drank some wine, does not prove that you are a man! It only proves that you can drink!" she countered. When she felt she had the attention of the crowd, she continued. "If you 'are' a man, then show me," she said.
Wufei blinked, feeling the full effects of the wine. "What do you wish to see?" he asked, a little unsteady on his feet. By then, he was feeling extremely warm, so he unbuttoned his coat all the way down and moved it back as he placed his hands on his hips. In doing so, he was hardly aware that he had exposed his well-developed chest to the crowd and the women in particular cheered him.
The beautiful witch woman gasped slightly and then she smiled again. "That is a good start," she said. "But there is … more that a woman desires," she added as her eyes fell to Wufei's crotch.
Wufei followed the path of her glance. Then he laughed. "I have always suspected it to be so," he said, "But you can't have mine!"
The crowd laughed uproariously.
"A curse on you!" the beautiful woman spat. "May you live a miserable life!"
"Too late," Wufei countered and the place went wild again.
The woman scowled and stormed out the bar.
Later that night, or more precisely very, very early the next morning, two figures emerged from the woods carrying a slumped form between them. Very carefully, as though carrying precious cargo, the two men made their way to the foot of the huge beast suit and propped Wufei's sleeping form against it. It took them a few tries to get him to stay because he kept sliding off of the shiny gundanium frame. Finally, they managed to get him to stand in what was meant to be a comfortable position without tumbling over. They bowed deeply to his closed-eyed form and then made their way hastily back to their own beds, secure in the knowledge that the Gundam pilot was in the best of hands. No one would dare come way out there and if they did manage to do so, who in their right mind would try and mess with a Gundam pilot… especially with his beast keeping vigil. Oh, they understood that Shenlong was a mobile suit, a vehicle, albeit a powerful one, but there was always that nagging suspicion that it was somehow… alive. Some even said that it was the spirit of the Ancestors who dispensed Justice and death with one blow. Better not to anger the Spirit machine. There was enough to worry about in the world for mere mortal men.
After the men had been gone for a few minutes, the impossible happened. The eyes of the great Shenlong suddenly glowed bright green. Mechanisms began to move that should not have done so without a pilot at the helm. Arms, flat surfaces, portions and pieces worked together to gently slide the Gundam pilot down and lift him high in air to the cockpit section of Shenlong. Soon, Chang Wufei was sitting in his pilot's chair with his head drooped down.
Something drew him awake with a start. His eyelids felt heavy and he could not seem to focus on anything. "Where," he said softly, finding himself strapped into his chair. He sighed as the familiar surroundings impressed themselves on his mind. "Nataku," he said, not exactly remembering how he got there.
As he spoke, lights came on, though not fully in the cockpit. Wufei smiled.
"How are you, my friend," he said, attempting to sit up in the chair. "I feel funny, " Wufei said. "Like not all here."
Suddenly, he remembered the bar and all of the people and what fun he was having… There was a woman?? 'Oh yes,' he thought. ' She wanted my penis."
At the thought of that, Wufei laughed. It struck him as exceedingly funny that a woman should desire to own a male member. He had heard of the theory of penis envy before, but it struck him as somewhat pathetic.
"She wanted my penis," he repeated and it sounded even funnier the second time. He laughed and then kept on laughing until the only thing he could manage was to hold on to the arm rests and try to breathe.
"Stop being ridiculous, Chang Wufei, " he admonished himself. That only made him laugh even harder.
Finally, he was able to settle down. When he did, Wufei found himself to be in altogether good mood. He swiveled left and right in his chair and then all the way around and noted that the dizziness added a surreal element to everything. But, he liked it.
Still inebriated, he began hitting things and turning things on. Soon, Nataku was fully operational and stood ready to do Wufei's bidding.
"You're a good suit, Nataku. You have a good heart." Wufei said. "I know that you are an honorable friend as well and I, Chang Wufei, am humbled beyond belief to be here. Let's have some fun Nataku! Just me and you."
Moving his hands over the controls, Wufei felt and heard the familiar vibrations of the great Gundam suit. 'To space?' he thought. Wufei shook his head. Suddenly, Wufei remembered something he'd seen in the circus the night he went to see Trowa perform. The lions were beautiful and ferocious, but what had attracted Wufei the most were the mighty elephants and the grand horses. He especially liked when the trainers would command the animals to defy gravity and leap into the air. He smiled.
"Nataku, jump! Jump Nataku!" he commanded.
Outside, Ling Cho, the local shop keeper, wandered sleepily out into the night air. He frequently sleep-walked and no one thought much of it. He usually didn't go too far and returned to his bed before an alarm could be raised. Suddenly, he blinked as consciousness returned. At first, Ling Cho was disoriented. 'Why am I outside?,' he thought. 'Why is the earth…moving?!"
Glancing up as his vision cleared from the sleep state, Ling Cho saw it briefly and then it disappeared. The earth shook. The Thing was just over the rise, with great green glowing eyes. And then, Lo Ching saw the fire! His mouth opened and his eyes grew round as circles, but no sound came out. Ling Cho gasped and took in a great gulp of air. The monster rose over the rise again and seemed to look straight at him. It breathed fire and Ling Cho screamed. A forlorn wailing sound arose from his being and then he felt his chest constrict with a great pain. His hand clutched the front of his night clothes as Ling Cho fell backwards against the earth.
Inside the cockpit, Wufei laughed uproariously. He felt the great machine leap up into the air and crashed back down with a satisfying rumble that shook and vibrated his body. "Nataku!!!" he called as the machine went airborne again. Finally, Wufei worked the controls and Nataku took off on a nearly vertical rise into space. Wufei wailed with joy.
He felt unfettered and free. He had no place to be and nothing to do. He was about to raise another tribute to Nataku, when the darkness of space caught his attention. Wufei had been there, had seen it many times. In his current state of mind, however, everything looked more profound. For a moment, he hovered and stared out.
"It never ceases to make me feel… humbled and insignificant," he said.
Wufei grew quiet suddenly and contemplative. He sighed and allowed all the thoughts that were there to flow through his mind without judgment. There were things that he felt good about, bad about and those in which he felt nothing at all. Among them, Wufei's mind settled on the woman in the bar.
She had wanted some thing from him. He could tell. He giggled a little when he thought, 'She wanted my penis' once again. But that was not all and he could tell.
'Don't they know?' he asked himself, 'I am trained to protect women. I am bound by my code to protect their virtue and their honor. I could no more dishonor them than I could dishonor you Nataku, " he said. "Still…"
Looking up, Wufei said, "Women don't belong in war! They do strange things!" He thought of Sally Po and Meiran. They were totally different. One had made him feel less and the other had lifted his heart and showed him a different point of view. "Well, maybe that's not right, " he said. "Sally is a good soldier. She is braver than me."
"I guess I just don't understand them Nataku. They are illogical sometimes and silly," he added, suddenly feeling very depressed.
"Chang Wufei," a voice said over his comm.
Wufei looked down and felt a good time coming to a rapid close.
"Yes, Preventer Wind," he replied, seeing the former Zechs Marquis looking back at him. After the end of the war, Wufei and Zechs had joined Sally Po in the department known as the Preventers and Zechs had adopted a new identity as a Preventer agent.
There was silence and then… "We've had some reports from the area of your last known position. A man is in the hospital. He's had a heart-attack. He claims that he saw a green eyed monster that breathed fire at him. A woman is claiming that you stalked and attacked her at a bar, then tried to follow her home. Her sister reports otherwise, but.. Wufei are you all right?"
Wufei's shoulders slumped. "I'm fine," he said, not sounding fine at all. Then, "I did nothing to that woman! I was trying to protect her virtue and she…" he added and then began laughing again.
"Say again?" Wind asked.
"Sh..she wanted my penis!" Wufei managed through peels of laughter.
"I'm coming up." Wind said.
Wufei frowned. "Oh why?" he said, annoyed.
"Because you are drunk and out of control in a Gundam suit. Your altered state poses a threat to the people below." Wind replied.
"I am not drunk!" Wufei said. "I am perfectly fine and I'm having some fun. Don't you remember having fun, Wind? I know it's been a long time for you, but can't you remember?"
"Yes, Wufei," Wind replied. "I'm having fun now."
Wufei smiled. "You are?" he said, feeling suddenly elated.
"Tons," Wind replied.
Wufei saw the Tallgeese III slide into view.
"Now," Wind said. "Why don't you follow me down to the base and we can…" he began.
Wufei shook his head. "No," he interrupted. "Why don't you try and catch me?" he said, then moved Nataku back and away before Wind could react.
Feeling Nataku move, Wufei laughed. He watched as Wind tried to keep up. Ducking and dodging through debris and flying just out of Wind's reach, Wufei laughed. Now, he was really having fun!
There was no need for weapons, just skill. The two suits rode the darkness for over an hour, before it was all said and done. Two pilots shared had fun in the night.
The next morning Chang Wufei woke up with two sledgehammers hitting his brain from both sides. He felt as though he had been drug behind the back of a truck, before being launched into space without a suit. He tried peering around, but nothing looked familiar.
The door to the room opened and Wind walked through, clad in a robe and carrying a tray.
"Have some tea," he said, sitting down on the bed and sitting the tray down as well.
Wufei groaned a little as he felt his stomach check in. "Thank you," he managed accepting the tea from Wind. "What's those?" he asked, nodding down towards a small bottle.
"Tea to soothe your head and revitalize the body. Shu Gan Wan herbal pills to soothe the stomach." Wind replied and opened the bottle of pills and poured out six in Wufei's hand, watching as Wufei managed to down them.
"Thank you," Wufei said. "Is this part of the curse?" he asked quietly.
Wind frowned. "What curse?"
Wufei smiled a little. "That woman in the bar cursed me."
Wind shook his head. "No, what you are feeling is known as a hangover," he answered.
Wufei nodded a little. "Oh.. all right," he said with a small sigh.
"How much of that did you have to drink?" Wind asked.
"Three bottles, by challenge," Wufei replied.
Wind looked down and shook his head. "She must have wanted you pretty badly," Wind said.
Wufei smiled, closing his eyes, as something occurred to him. "She didn't want me. She didn't know me. She wanted my penis," he said.
Wind chuckled and nodded. He understood.
"You've got two shifts off. They want you back tomorrow morning. In the meantime, rest here." Wind said.
Wufei opened one eye. "And I am where?"
Wind smiled. "My place," he answered simply and then stood.
"Thanks again," Wufei said, then "Hey, that was fun though, wasn't it?"
Wind stood. "Yes it was," he replied. Looking down, he saw Wufei sigh and then settle down to sleep.