In the timelessness of the Void, he knew not how long he’d tumbled, but without warning, there was substance where there had been none. There was direction where there had been only Void. There was light where there had been but shadows. There was warmth where there had been frost.

Behind him, a radiant glow bathed his body. Where the light touched him, healing and contentment flowed, covering him in a blessed shroud. His bones knitted, muscle reformed, skin meshed. Bruises faded, aches soothed, burns melted away until he was a single shining spot of wholeness.

Heero turned and faced that glow, knowing, without knowing how he knew, that beyond that scintillating curtain of glory stood everything he’d ever wanted from his life but been denied. Home. Contentment. Freedom. Health. Happiness.

Heart. Heart?

Duo was his heart.

"Heero!"

The tortured shout came on the heels of that thought.

He turned and found himself standing on a riverbank, clothed only in the soft radiant glow that even now beckoned him to join with it. Dark, muddy waters rippled past him, racing past his toes, just inches from the water’s edge. He could see things caught in the current. Rocks. Boulders. Trees. Death.

Souls.

Bloated, torn, ravaged souls screamed their impotence as the rushing waters tore them past him. They bled out their individuality, the ravenous fluid leeching their very essence from them even as it carried them from hope.

Hope?

Duo was his hope.

"Heero!"

He looked up again, seeking the source of that shout.

The other side of the river was even more dark and foreboding than the waters themselves. The twisted landscape was dotted with shriveled trees, broken scrub, dead grasses. It was littered with discarded stones, like hopes and dreams scattered to the winds and forgotten.

Hopes and dreams. That’s what those stones really were! Defeated thoughts, shattered promises, forgotten desires, left to wither and die, lay strewn about the nightmarish world that lay across the deep, swirling waters. On the horizon, a feral storm, lightning and thunder spitting from its leading edge, ripped across the sky. It grew closer, bathing the desolate plain with freezing rain, devastating the stones and broken trees with angry strikes of blazing white electricity.

He watched in fascination. The lightning reminded him of the blast from Wing Zero’s beam cannon.

Wing Zero.

He could see it out there, across the frozen plain. The Gundam was rampaging over the broken steppes, destroying what little life struggled to survive in the inhospitable world. With each booming stomp, the river at his toes swelled and surged, more souls bobbing to the surface to scream out their impotence at him as they passed.

The glow behind him began to pulsate, calling him. Asahi, it called itself, singing sweetly. He could hear the saccharine siren’s call of peace urging him away from the black waters. As he turned, he could feel the radiance bathing his cheek, caressing him gently. A lover’s touch.

But Duo was his lover.

"Heero!"

He turned back again, that cry of anguish hard on the heels of his thoughts, hounding him. He batted at his head with irritation. Stupid shout. Why wouldn’t that sad cry leave him be? Why wouldn’t that terror filled voice just let him walk away from the river, join the light which was even now calling him again?

The light. The Light. Asahi.

Its song was seductive. He wanted to turn towards it again, to block out the sight of the cold and death and pain which assailed him from the river and beyond. That sweet touch across his flesh, just like Duo-

"HEERO!"

He blinked.

That wild wing of hair, whipping in the winds like the pinions of a bating hawk. Why wasn’t it braided?

Oh. The wind.

The wind which stole the words from Duo’s throat, shredding them upon it’s very face until all that reached Heero across the river was an anguished wail.

Duo was holding out one hand entreatingly, his clothes plastered to his body by the freezing rain and vicious wind. He could see the American pilot fighting against the storm, struggling to remain on his feet, even as the weather and the river conspired to steal his footing.

Apprehension ate at him. He knew that if Duo tumbled into those black waters, that he would be lost. Stolen away like those sick, swollen souls screaming their way into oblivion.

That wasn’t right.

"Go back, Duo. Its not safe," he heard himself whisper.

The cruel wind stole his words, keeping them from Duo.

Asahi bathed him warmly. He should share that warmth with Duo; he could see the boy shaking with cold and fear across the water. If only-

No.

The river prevented it. Duo could not pass the river.

Heero cocked his head, listening to the call of the Radiance again.

Peace.

All he had to do was step back from the water’s edge, join the light, and it would be his. He would have peace. He would BE peace. He would have everything he ever wanted. Asahi.

No. There would be something missing. What? It tugged at his mind, confusing him. What could be missing from Perfection?

Duo.

"HEEEERROOOO!!"

His head snapped up.

Duo stood at the river’s edge. No. He stood IN the river. The water greedily sucked away at Duo’s ankles, seeking to drag him under as the boy fought to cross to Heero.

The current was too strong. He would be swept away if he continued.

Ice gripped him.

He stared down, surprised, as the black waters inched up his toes, covering his feet. He’d stepped into the river.

A flash of something like hope crossed Duo’s face before a leap of lightning struck the ground near him, casting his face into shadows and fire.

Beyond the river lay the pain.

The death. The blood.

Even as the thought manifested in his mind, a flood of crimson raced over the dead land. The rain darkened to scarlet, dying Duo’s skin and clothing the sick shade of Lifeblood lost.

He felt something sticky on his hands.

Blood.

His hands were dyed crimson, as drops of blood welled up from the darkness within him. Behind him, Asahi promised to bathe the blood from him. Promised to remove the taint and hold him forever safe from it.

Oh that sweet promise. To be free of the blood. To be free of-

Duo.

Across the waters, Duo was crying. His tears rinsed trails down the pale skin of his face, leaving twin tracks of sorrow through the bloody rain.

Duo was crying?

That wasn’t right.

A chill spread up his legs, freezing halfway to the knees. He looked down, stunned as he realized he’d walked further into the river. Things were bumping into him now, threatening to steal his own footing.

Asahi stroked his pale skin, ruffled his hair almost playfully, calling. Always Calling.

Across the river, everything he’d fled from waited. The pain. The sorrow. The blood.

-Are you lost niisan?-

Asahi anointed the ache that thought wrenched open in his heart. Asahi would hold him safe. Safe. Warm. Protected. Loved.

The river offered only pain, and cold, and sorrow, and oblivion. The river would steal everything away. Even the fragile no. No...t fragile. The fiercely powerful protection of Asahi.

Beyond the river, it was only worse. It would offer no oblivion. That cold, dark land would strike the very marrow from his bones, wrench the very light from his soul.

Soul.

When had he become human enough to have room for a soul?

Heero had to choose.

Asahi.

The River.

Life.

Life? Is that what that twisted nightmare beyond the River was? Life? No wonder Asahi’s Call was so sweet and tempting. Given the choice between hell and heaven, what crazy baka would choose hell?

Warmth spread up his legs as he retreated from the black waters.

Why would he give up Asahi for the pain of the tortured land across the raging River? Why would he give up Perfection to return to the rampaging Gundam, even now harvesting more souls for the swollen waters? Why would he give up his Peace for a nightmare? -Are you lost niisan?-

Lost? No. He wasn’t lost. He hadn’t been lost since-

Duo.

His head snapped up again, focusing on the other boy. Duo was kneeling in the water, its dark grasp holding him fast, creeping up his legs, drawing him further in as it sapped his strength and stole the light from his radiant violet

eyes.Duo fell forward, one hand catching him, holding him out of the water’s embrace, as the other hand reached longingly for Heero.

Asahi or-

Duo.

To cross that wide expanse of raging fluid would be forsaking Asahi. Willingly giving up what could be his only chance at Peace. Serenity. Hope.

No.

Duo. Duo was his Hope.

That wasn’t right.

Duo was the father of his Hope.

To cross the waters would steal his one sure chance at Peace. He was so tired. Tired of the killing and the blood and the desolation. He should stay with Asahi. He should stay with the Peace.

But where would that leave Duo? Without Duo, Asahi seemed a cold and empty place.

Given the choice between hell and heaven, what crazy baka would choose hell?

Ice crept up his feet, past his shins, over his knees. The cold seeped into his thighs and swept swiftly upwards as he struggled through the River. Souls battered at him, seizing his arms and legs, seeking to drag him under. Rocks, boulders, unidentified things battered his frail body as he fought the raging current.

He could see Duo slipping further. The braided pilot was fighting the chill grip the black waters had on him, but the color was slowly leeching from his blood-spattered skin. The light was fading from the luminous pools of his eyes. The very stuff of Duo was unraveling before his frantic gaze, and yet his lover fought the River. Heero lurched forward, gasping as he lost his footing and was swept a little down the water’s course before he found purchase to stand again.Duo did not see Heero’s plunge into the River. He was fighting his own battle against its insistent tug, fighting with every ounce of his own soul. He had to fight.

If he gave in to the waters, he, too, would be lost. Unlike Heero, however, he would be lost to the River, the crushing weight of nothingness and eternity, rather than the gentle embrace of Heaven. He had to fight!

Heero was worth it!

He spared a moment from his battle to glance up at the opposite riverbank, seeking the reason for his conflict.

The riverbank was empty. Heero was gone.

Something within Duo snapped.

Without Heero, what would it matter if Duo gave in to the waters? What would it matter if they were both lost? Without Heero, he was already lost.

With an anguished sigh, he ceased struggling, and let the River take him.

Quatre jerked as the monitors on Duo began to scream and cry.

Duo’s heart had stopped.

Heero turned sharply, staring in the direction of the splash. The sound of that sigh, and the happy chuckle of the dark waters shook him to his core. He’d never heard a sound louder than that sinister snicker.

He turned in time to see Duo vanish under the surface of the River.

"DUO!"

As the cry ripped from his torn throat, he dove forward, kicking against the souls around him.

Too late!

He’d chosen too late, and now both Duo AND Asahi were lost to him! Forever!

no...

No.

"NO!"

A savage growl clawed its way from the pit of his soul.

Soul.

When had he become human enough to have room for a soul?

He pushed that thought from his mind, knowing that if he did not succeed now, there would be no answer. Ever again. There would be only silence in that dark pit where his soul lived.

He gave himself up to the current for a moment, letting it snake its way across his chilled body as he dove below the surface. Frantic hands reached out before him, grasping, seeking, begging fate-

A moment after Duo went into cardiac arrest, Heero’s monitors also began to scream. Quatre cried out as he turned to face the terrible flat line scrolling across the screen above Heero’s bed.

:no. no... not both of them...:

THERE!

Heero’s numb fingers closed on something that was only slightly warmer than the surrounding waters. He gripped it tightly and kicked back to the surface, fighting.

Without knowing quite how, he found himself collapsed on the opposite riverbank, a frozen boy huddled against him. Behind him, the River had settled a little, grumbling in its banks, but unable to reach up and claim the twain lying in the mud.

Before any of the doctors could move to either boy, the alarms shut down. Twin heartbeats rang out across the room in the same instant, Heero’s stronger than it had since the doctors had managed to revive him days ago.

Quatre blinked in surprise as both boys’ hearts beat in unison for long moments, before settling back into their normal, strong, slumbering rhythms.

Duo felt the vice-like grip on his arm, and the trembling body huddled against him. He opened his eyes, turning his head a little to stare at the other boy.

Shock shook him to his heart as Heero’s exhausted glance met his own.

He was naked, Asahi having fled him when he’d plunged into the River, and shivering as the freezing rain whipped them from the storm raging overhead. Duo gathered Heero into his arms and held him close.

"Omae... o... korusu..." Heero whispered exhaustedly.

Duo choked out a startled bark of laughter.

"I love you too, Heero. Ai Shiteiru, Heero. Oh Ai Shiteiru."

Heero glanced across the River, unsurprised to see a blank nothingness there now. Asahi was gone.

Instinctively, the sorrow of Paradise lost threatened to overwhelm him, but Duo’s arms tightened against his ribs. His very sore ribs.

As he lay there in Duo’s embrace, his wounds reasserted themselves; Asahi’s influence had left him. His breath froze in his lungs as agony coursed through him.

Pain.

Everything hurt. Every wound he’d suffered manifested itself in the space of a heartbeat, mingling with the soul-deep battering the River had given him as he fought it’s inexorable current.

Duo had been expecting it. He gathered the sobbing boy into his arms and stood. Turning his back on the River, he trudged across the bleak tundra, returning.

Heero felt Duo bend over him and kiss away a few of the tears trickling down his frozen cheeks.

Duo.

As the darkness he recognized as sleep began to steal over him, Heero basked in the agony of his broken body, violently thrusting the memory of Asahi’s blessed cloak away.

After all, given the choice between hell and heaven, what crazy baka would choose hell?

~~OWARI~~

C&C please. and lemme know if any of you have any ideas for my next fic, k? Domo.

RavynFyre

Please send comments to: ravynfyre@hotmail.com

Back to Part 3

Back to the Series Index

Back to RavynFyre's page