Well, it's been awhile, but I just couldn't pass this up. I've been going to an art school (a state approved one, not one of those pansy places where you play with paint for a couple years and then go starve to death on the street), and I couldn't help but notice a few things.

One of the first things I noticed was that, despite the fact that these people are supposed to have all sorts of creative freedom, they still seem to fall into categories. There are atheists. Then there are Christians. There are normals, then there are the individualists. There are the people that more or less conform (save for maybe an eyebrow ring) and the people that wouldn't conform if their lives depended on it.

All of this would be fine, if it weren't for one thing: half these people still seem to be rather hung up on what other people think. What about what they think?! I seriously considered asking a few of them if they actually liked themselves, but I thought about it, and I came to a conclusion: They're happy with themselves because there's a group of people out there that approve of them.

Am I the only one that finds it disgusting that practically each and every person in the world is so worried about what other people think of them that they kill off whatever individuality they have to earn approval?

Now, before I go further, I'm gonna back up. I realize that no one is completely free of what society says you can or can't do. In America, if you run around in the streets buck naked, you will get arrested. No matter how happy it makes you and no matter how much that is who you are. And yes, I'm aware that you can't completely ignore what other people think and yes I know it is occasionally important to make people comfortable with you.

The problem I'm seeing here is when these people are going to a school where they're allowed to wear pretty much anything that doesn't violate laws and where they're allowed to be openly gay/straight/bi/trans and openly religious/agnostic/atheistic/etc., yet they're still worried about what defines social groups.

And it isn't just the 'normal' crowd that pisses me off, either. I was talking to a 'goth' girl the other day, and I was discussing clothing with her. Now, understand, I have an eyebrow ring and I wear all black (usually) and I like the bondage pants and the leather and the spiked collars and all that other shtuff. And I was wearing said shtuff (from Hot Topic) when this conversation took place. And the conversation went something like this:

• Me: Where'd you get those gloves? Those're pretty cool.
  
• GothGirl: Oh, well, I saw them at Hot Topic and I thought, 'Eh, what the hell?'
  
• M: It's a cool place.
  
• GG: Yeah, but... I mean, they put the safety pins in the shirts. You don't have to do it yourself.
  
• M: Yeah, well... I'm a little too lazy to bother sometimes.
  
• GG: It's just pathetic, these days, y'know? I mean, kids these days have no creativity. I remember when (insert diatribe about making appropriately genuine goth gear here).
  
• M: (insert blank stare)

Okay, so let's consider this. She's pissed because some people make their goth gear, whereas others buy it. I'll be the first to admit that I never would have worn said gear had it not been for Hot Topic. I don't think this makes me any less sincere when I wear it, and I don't think it makes me pretentious (I don't think that's spelled right). I don't think I should be barred from wearing it, either. I also don't think wearing it makes me a goth. It just makes me... well, me. I wear it because I like the way it looks. I don't, however, have the urge to go around pretending to be depressed or listening to depressing music so that other people think I'm depressed. I'm sufficiently depressed on the inside, and I find people that want to act bitter/depressed/whatever rather hard to tolerate. So I typically laugh when I think something is funny and sulk when I'm pissed. And I actually tend to make jokes and whatnot more than I brood.

Frankly, I think people think I have enough issues when I just act like myself and keep things to myself that I don't really need to chase them around telling them about how my mother beat me every day and my father was a drug addict (which they weren't, incidentally, but I have actually heard such stories from people who I knew had to be bullshitting me).

Yet another group that irritates me: all these twits that believe that every time I spend money, I'm giving in to "The Man" or whatever. For one thing, it's not really feasible for me to steal everything I want/need, and for another, if you're so damn bothered by high prices or people fucking us over by making us pay for things or something, go to a third world country and hang around for awhile. I think you'll get over having to buy things occasionally. I am not a mindless drone because I happen to prefer to honestly acquire most things (And yes, I know I'm not perfect; I use KazaaLite on a regular basis). And while I think Bill Gates is evil, it has nothing to do with him jacking Jobs's ideas or with the fact that he has money. It's mostly due to the fact that Windows crashes a lot. But it beats the hell out of Macs and Linux.

And call me a t-shirt philosopher if you will, but I was actually inspired by said garment the other day. It was hanging up in (get this) Hot Topic, and it said simply "Be Different... Just Like Everyone Else." Well, good morning. I do believe we've stumbled upon something here. Taken at face value, it seems as if the commentary is directly putting down all these 'nonconformists' we have running around. Which may have been the original intent, for all I know. But it made me think. What's the difference between being a 'goth' and being a 'prep'? On the surface, it would seem that there is a lot of difference. But dig a little deeper. While the preps may run around looking for the most popular current fashion label, the goths aren't doing much better, really. They're still concerned with what they wear (even if they won't admit it) and they're still concerned that all the other goths won't like their spikes or their hair color or their nosering. They're concerned with being "different just like everybody else". Why not be different like yourself instead? Y'know, wear the stuff you really like (even if it's a Tommy Hilfiger shirt and a pair of Tripp Man bondage pants) and quit giving a fuck about whether or not your friends will like it. That might even be a good test there. If they run screaming and the only way you can get them back is to tell them you were kidding, you might want to invest in new friends.