(Final Fantasy VI: 2. ... Why are we doing this? Because we can... and our movie bombed... but that's besides the point!).
*after minutes of silence* Wow, this is boring. Life sure does suck!
*from one cell over, to the right* ... Yeah. ... Wha? Shut up. ... Why? ... You suck. But I said that life sucks! You suck, too. But you don't even know me! Go talk to a wall. That's what we'll both be doing FOREVER if we don't find a way out of this mess! You suck. ... Okay, just who ARE you, anyway? That's none of your business.
Both of you better shut up before I take out... the secret weapon!!! Lay it on me, you idiot. *shows him affection and companionship* ... AHHHHH!!! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT! Stupid Leon. ... What kind of a name is that? Shut up.(Narration: And so, Edgar was stuck in his own castle dungeon with an insensitive jackass and a midget on a chocobo. Life couldn't get any worse than that... right?)
Gau! Gau! Gau Gau! Gau!(Narration: Let's not even go to that scenario... that was enough pain as is. *Ahem*... Kefka and Ultros were sitting on the thrones in Figaro Castle...)
Hahaha... we've sure done it now, Kefka! With the entire kingdom of Figaro lying within our grasps, we'll hold the monopoly on child porn all over the globe!
Wahhhh hahohohohoho! I always knew that my years of killing and practicing of... killing... would pay off! Let us feast, Octopus Brains! Bozo Butt. Wahhhh hahohohohoho! Weeeeeeeaaaakkkk!
*runs into room* I'm afraid I side with him, you psychotic circus freak! Hmm... I know I remember you... oh, wait! YOU'RE DOC! FROM BACK TO THE FUTURE! Can I have your autograph? Pleeeeaseeeee? Pleeeeeeassseeeee? Haha... I was pretty good in th--... ehr... let's just get down to business! I suggest that we have a battle royale to decide who gets control of Figaro! Oh, sweet raspberry dragonballs... you want to fight AGAIN? I know I'd get you this time, but... No, no, not a PHYSICAL battle!!! I'm talking about... *pulls up a table from the left side of the room*... strip poker. ... But I don't wear any clothes! Just me and the big guy, popeye. Wahhhh hahohohohoho! Count me in! I'm always up to a challenge... but I can get your autograph if I win, right? Sure... I'll even throw in my snazzy trenchcoat.(Narration: What goes up must come down... what's G-rated must become a bundle of lame, sexual slapsticks! ... It's the only way this'll sell enough copies for us to make another movie!!! Oh, uhh... in any event... back in Figaro Castle's prison...)
HAHAHA... 'Fenix Down'? HAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHA... 'Phoenix'? 'PHOENIX'!?!?!? *wipes tears from both eyes* I love you, man. I love you too, Peter Pan. Say... do you think we could go to Wonder Wonder Land together, someday? I'm sure that we can... just believe in yourself, and fly, Simba, fly! ... Okay, I can't take this ANY LONGER! I'm setting you both FREE!!! Just please, PLEASE never come back here again! But we LOVE it here! It's the only place where we can yell, act like idiots, and pretend we're fictional characters without being looked at like we're insane! I don't wanna go... I'm Peter Pan! I need to stay here and stay young! I can't leave! NOOOO!!! *hastily unlocks both doors and pushes them outwards* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!(Narration: And so, Edgar and Leon were pushed out of the castle prison, and into the main room... tragically, yet heroically. ... I guess. Meanwhile:)
Ha ha. Willing to give the wheel of destiny another spin, big guy?(picture missing to protect the innocent) I'd sooner die than give in!
... But assuming that that four-boss thing wasn't an illusion, you're already dead, dude.(picture missing to protect the innocent) ... Just one more! One more!
Woohhhhkay, but you better stop soon... I'm not into flesh. *steps into the throne room* Ahhh... it feels good to be back, afterall... I've been wanting to--... Oh. My. Goddess Statues.(picture missing to protect the innocent) ... Uhhh... Wahhhh hahohohohoho!
(What a fantastic predicament! ... Will Edgar get his kingship back? What happened to Leon? Will Cyan get Locke to eat Chocobo Eggs and Fat? How'd Setzer get from the Opera House to Figaro Castle so quickly? ... Will this series reach yet another all-time low? Will we sell enough copies to release another box-office house of horrors? Stay tuned for... Final Fantasy III/VI: The College Years. Part 3!)
FF3man's Final Fantasy III/VI Castle in NO way supports child pornography or strip poker. We just thought it'd be pretty funny to put in a story. ... Good day!