One nice day in a very large ballroom (the kind you have parties in, not the ones that are filled up with balls) the cast of FFVII was waiting around except for Rufus and the Turks.
"Ok what's THIS fanfic about, huh?" asked Yuffie, skeptically.
Well, you guys are going to meet some new people. I'll port them in. Suddenly, Squall, Quistis, Rinoa, Zell, Seifer, Selphie, Irvine and Laguna arrived. All the FFVII people gaped at the FFVIII people.
"Ok, what the heck happened? Who are these goofs?!?" asked Zell.
Well, I thought we needed a crossover so this seemed ideal, cause some of your personalities are, well, the same.
"Ok, you people need some tips on clothes!" announced Seifer, almost sneering Sephiroth.
"CLOTHES!?!?! THESE CLOTHES ARE THE COOLEST!!!!!!! ASK HER!" shouted Sephiroth, pointing at the ceiling.
He's right you know. His clothes are pretty cool. Unlike one person I know who has red crosses on his arms...
Everyone looked at Seifer. He had red crosses on his arms.
"Ummm... Heh heh heh..." said Seifer, rubbing the back of his head.
Ok, people, have fun! Not too much fighting, and no swearing. Got that Barret, Cid and Zell?
"Ok! Ok! We agree!" cried everyone.
"Hi, my name's Selphie, what's yours?" asked Selphie, sidling up to Vincent.
"Uh... My name's Vincent. And I'm not a vampire." replied Vincent.
"Ummm... ok. Why does your cape look like cardboard?" asked Selphie, pointing at his cardboard-looking cape.
"It's not!" cried an annoyed Vincent, going to brood in a dark corner, which there was none so he sat in the corner.
"Um... why are your pants so weird and poofy at the bottom?" asked Yuffie, pointing at Zell's black poofy pants.
"Because they are! So, why do you have the ugliest arm guard in the world on?" asked Zell, looking at Yuffie's ugly arm guard.
"Because it is! By the way, my name's Yuffie. And I think you're Zell right? You're good in martial arts right?" asked Yuffie.
"Good?!?! You mean the best! I bet you don't know anything about martial arts, you ninja wannabe!" said Zell, showing Yuffie some of his best shadow-boxing.
"Ninja wannabe! Oh yeah!?!?! TAKE THIS!" shouts Yuffie, doing a martial arts combo on Zell, knocking him into the wall and into unconsciousness.
"Humph... Ninja wannabe... grumble..." muttered Yuffie, stalking off to join Vincent in sulking.
"Hiya, my name's Rinoa! And who are you?" asked Rinoa sweetly to Cloud. Tifa stomped up.
"Get away from him you bimbo! Cloud's mine!" shouted Tifa right in Rinoa's face. Aeris heard the ruckus and came running up.
"What do you mean, yours?!?!?! Cloud is mine!" shouted Aeris.
"Here we go again..." grumbled Cid as he looked around for someone to talk to about Dukes of Hazzard. Rinoa had a big sweatdrop on her head as she left the three bickering to hang out with Squall.
"Hey, what a cool gun!!! Can I try it???" asked Irvine to Vincent who was still in the corner sulking. Irvine didn't know the trouble he was getting into.
"NO WAY, GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!" screamed Vincent as he transformed in Chaos and advanced on Irvine.
"Get away!!! MOMMEEEEEEEE!!!!" cried Irvine, crying his heart out for his mommy. Suddenly, Chaos reverted back to Vincent.
"Ok, take a look at my gun. It's called Death Penalty." Said Vincent calmly, giving no emotion to the events before. Everyone sweatdropped.
"Uhhhh... No thanks... I have to go over here... now..." said Irvine practically running away from Vincent.
"Ok, what just happened?" asked Laguna, who was chatting with Aeris about their hometowns.
Ummm.. I don't want Irvine dead, so I made Vincent back to normal. Don't remind him 'cause he'll remember.
"Ok... Excuse me?!?!? What are you trying to do!?!?!" asked Squall to Yuffie who had her hand halfway into his pocket to try to steal something.
"Uhhh... nothing... Heh heh heh..." replied Yuffie, having a big sweatdrop.
"Yo Zell! Wake up!" shouted Tifa straight into Zell's ear.
"Huh? What?" said Zell shaking his head. He was now conscious.
"Your weapons are supposed to be your fists, right? Same for me! Check out these gloves! They're the ultimate weapons!" said Tifa, showing of her Premium Heart. "Cool, ne?"
"Whatever! Only wussies need gloves!" replied Zell, sneering at Tifa.
"Zell, you are a chicken-wuss, remember?" called out Seifer who was busy talking to Sephiroth about ways to massacre people from their pasts.
"WUSSIE?!?!?! YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!!!! FINAL HEAVEN!!!!!!!!" shouted Tifa as she punched Zell back into unconsciousness and into the wall, again. There was now a large smashed area where Zell had crashed into twice. Tifa stomped off.
"Wow! What a cool spear! Can I try it out?" asked Selphie to Cid, eyeing his Venus Gospel.
"Sure! Lemme have a try with yer nunchuks, ok?" asked Cid.
"Ok! Here ya go!" replied Selphie, handing her nunchucks over to Cid and securing his Venus Gospel.
"Wow you could sure do some damage with this thing!" said Selphie, swinging Cid's Venus Gospel around. As she was swinging it, anyone who was nearby was knocked unconscious by it. Namely, Aeris, Laguna, Cloud and Squall.
"Whoops! Heh heh...!" said an embarrassed and sweatdropped Selphie. Cid was also unconscious from trying to use Selphie's nunchucks and hitting himself in the face with them.
"Great. Just what I need." sighed Vincent, as he sprayed the air with an unknown powder. Everyone came back to consciousness from sneezing.
"Ohhhhh!!! What a cute doggy!!!" cried Rinoa as soon as she saw Red XIII who had wisely hidden with Barret, Cait Sith and Quistis. Rinoa ran up to him and gave him a big hug.
"Yuck! Can someone get this foolish female off me?!?! She's messing up my fur!" cried Red from under Rinoa. No one answered him.
"Ummm... Would you mind getting off me? I'll tell you where there is a *ahem* 'cute' cat is so you can hug him all you want!" said Red to Rinoa.
"Where? Where's dat cute liddle kitty-poo!" asked Rinoa, who stopped hugging Red.
"He's right over there, sitting on that moogle. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to speak to Yuffie." said Red, as he wandered off to find Yuffie to murder her for stealing his Materia, again.
"What a cute liddle kiddy! I'll love you forever and ever, and ever, and ever and ever!" cried Rinoa as she scooped up Cait Sith and hugged him tightly.
"Ahhhhh!!! My circuits are overloading! Too much cuteness!! Get offa me!!!!" shouted Cait Sith as he tried to get away from her.
"How can you live with that?" asked Aeris of Squall.
"I dunno, but in our world there aren't as many cute things. We live with it." replied Squall as he watched Rinoa dress Cait Sith up in baby clothes.
"I see... Well you better keep her away from Vincent, he'll kill her for sure. He can't stand cuteness!" said Aeris who looked around for Vincent. He was as far away as he could get from Rinoa.
"Yuffie! Get back here and give me back my Materia, this instant!" shouted Red, chasing after a laughing Yuffie.
"Come and get it, you big red dog!" shouted Yuffie as she pulled a lever that suddenly appeared on the wall. She then disappeared down a chute.
"Jeez! Can't you let me catch her once?" asked Red to the author who had made the lever pop up.
No way! She's like my fav character next to Seph and Vincent! Seph and Vincent beamed at that.
"Yeah, but you like me too. Can I catch her next time? Please?" asked Red, trying to smile but it didn't exactly work out.
Maybe. I'll have to think about it.
"Hey what about me? I thought you liked me too!?!?!" asked Zell, hobbling up on crutches.
I do like you, but it's more fun to see you get beat up!
"Yeah thanks a lot! Dumb author... Yeowch!!!" grumbled Zell. The yeowch was a large paper fan that whacked him on the head.
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I CONTROL ALL!!!!
"Yeah, ok... whatever..." said Irvine, "But in reality it is us who controls you!" Everyone looked at him strangely. "Just follow along!" whispered Irvine to everyone else.
"Oh... um... yeah! We control you! Ha ha..." said Laguna halfheartedly.
BWAHAHAHA... WHAT?!?!?!
"Yeah! If you didn't have us, where would you be? Writing dumb stories about your uncle's cousin's best man's girlfriend!" said Irvine.
Oh my gosh! You're right! By George, I'll end this fic right now and start writing some good stuff! Thanks for the idea, Irvine!
"Wait! No! Finish this one first! Wait!!!!" cried Irvine as the author decided to end this fic with everyone chasing Irvine to kill him and the author thinking up some good plot line.
Yeah! I'll write about the continuation of FF7! No, that's been done... What about if Tifa died instead of Aeris! No, that's been done too... Oh well, I'll think of something later. Bye Irvine! Have a fun time! Heh heh heh...
