1 Peter 3:7: The Weaker Partner?

This passage raises some of the same questions as 1 Peter 3:6, but it is addressed to Christian husbands. In what way is the wife "the weaker partner"? Isn't this a condescending term? Doesn't it imply the inferiority of women? And what does being "considerate" mean? Is this the consideration of a master taking a slave's desires into account? Finally, why would a failure here hinder people's prayers? The interesting thing about questions based on this verse is that several translations have interpreted the Greek term in different ways. What is translated "weaker partner" in the NIV in a more literal translation of the Greek would be "weaker vessel" (as KJV; compare RSV: "weaker sex"). The translation "weaker vessel" is almost as confusing as the use of the term "vessel" in 1 Thessalonians 4:4. A study of this vocabulary reveals that most likely the author is thinking of the person either as a body that is the vessel for the Spirit (a meaning found in the apostolic fathers) or as a creature created by God (a meaning coming from the parable in Jer 18:1-11). Either of the two meanings declares that the man and the woman are both creatures, but one of them, the woman, is weaker and more vulnerable.

Unlike the later church fathers, Peter is not thinking of the woman as being weaker morally (Rom 5:6 says that all human beings are weak this way, and 1 Peter is close to Paul in its thought) or weak in conscience (Rom 14:1, something Paul never links to sex), for neither of these applies to woman as "vessel" or "creature," and neither of these applies to woman as over against man. Instead, Peter's idea must be that the man experiences the woman in the context of most cultures as weaker both physically (and therefore we hear so much of the abuse of women by men) and socially. Physical weakness is clear in that males are on average larger and stronger than women. Social weakness is illustrated in 2 Corinthians 10--13, in which Paul repeatedly speaks of being socially weak because he was neither imposing to look at nor spoke good Greek (due to his foreign origin); this put him at a social disadvantage and often required that he have a local sponsor. A woman is likewise often disadvantaged the moment people realize that they are dealing with a woman rather than a man, a fact even more true in first-century culture than today.

It is obvious that this weakness, whether physical or social, gave (and still gives) the husband a great advantage in the marriage; he could abuse his wife's vulnerability. But the topic of this section in 1 Peter, understood from 1 Peter 2:13, is that of submission. The husband, argues Peter, shows his proper submission by not taking advantage of his wife's weakness. Instead he is to "live with" her "considerately" or "according to knowledge." The knowledge referred to is not theoretical knowing about her but personal knowledge, which could form the basis either for exploiting her or for considerate care. The latter is what the Christian husband is to exhibit. This considerate care based upon personal knowledge of one's wife is to extend to the whole marital realm, for "live with" includes the sexual as well as other areas of the marriage.

Another way Peter expresses this idea is to say that the husband is to treat his wife with "respect" or "honor," which means that even if the culture does not honor women, he will honor his woman. His honoring her gives her the advantage of his strength in a culture that may be physically abusive and of his status in a culture that might look down on women. Like Christ, he takes (and even gives up) what he has and bestows it upon the one who lacks it.

The culture may look at the woman as "weaker" or inferior--in fact, that low view of women was very true of the Mediterranean culture of Peter's day--but 1 Peter says that she is a "joint heir" (the "heirs with you" translation in the NIV may disguise the strength of the phrase). In other words, in the realm that counts, the spiritual, she is an equal. The New Testament perspective is that marriage itself and sexual differences in particular are temporal and will not continue in heaven (see Mt 22:30). Thus from the heavenly perspective it is not the weakness of the woman that is ultimate, but her equality. Since this is the reality of the future, the Christian husband is to recognize this in the present in the way he respects or honors his wife. There is, as Paul argued in Galatians 3:28, no real (in the sense of ultimate or lasting) difference between male and female. Fully Christian marriage lives this out, being more determined by the fuller reality of the future (the eschatological reality) than by the legal and social givens of a culture.

Therefore, we can now see why this would affect prayers. Several New Testament passages (Mt 5:23; 6:12, 14-15; 1 Cor 11:33-34; Jas 4:3) indicate that relational differences with others will hinder one's prayer life. How much more would this be the case if one's wife were complaining to God of her husband's mistreatment of her? Even if she did not complain, would not God see her tears? Isn't he a God of compassion and justice? Doesn't he stand up for the weaker and the oppressed? On the one hand, then, we have the promise implied in Matthew 18:19-20 that husband and wife make the smallest church, a place in which Christ can be present; therefore prayers made in unity with him will be heard. On the other hand, when they are estranged and especially when the more powerful is oppressing the weaker, no prayer will be heard, for God will put the relationship and living like Christ in self-giving ahead of any request--except that of repentance.

Is Peter then condescending to women? No, he is not condescending; he is realistic. He recognizes that in the cultures with which he was dealing (and to a large extent today as well), the wife was disadvantaged in the relationship, almost always physically and often legally and socially as well. He therefore counsels the husband to live like Jesus and to take his physical and social advantage and use it to make his wife the equal she really is in God's eyes. This type of relationship, 1 Peter argues, will lead to the situation in which prayer can be answered. Any exploitation of one's wife, however, blocks the way between the husband and his God.

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It is unclear whether the "your" (plural) in "your prayers" refers to the husbands' prayers only (since husbands are addressed as a group) or both the husbands' and the wives' prayers. Probably the former is meant, but we must remember that bitterness and resentment in the wife will also block prayers as surely as the husband's oppressiveness.