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I am a 37 year old woman who has been struck down with fibromyalgia. If you aren't familiar with fibromyalgia, I can tell you a few things about it. It is related to lupus and muscular dystrophy and chronic fatigue syndrome. Horrible pain is my constant companion everyday. I wake up with it, go to sleep with it, and try to make the best of my days with it. The pain is a deep, aching, traveling pain that has no cure and no efficient treatments to help. It is alot like bad arthritis, if you know what that feels like, except it travels and comes with a few added extras. I am almost always too sick and tired to be able to do anything with my days. Deep depression, rage and panic attacks are big with fibromyalgia. Sometimes, I feel like I am crazy or going out of my mind because of the pain and hurt I endure everyday of my life. I have seen many many doctors that I can't afford, and my insurance (American National) will NOT pay for anything to do with depression or co-pay for any medicine that is not generic. I take at least 8 prescription medications a day, only 2 that are generic, not to mention the bunch of over the counter medicine I have to take also. Plus, having been suicidal because of thinking my life with all of this pain and hurt was not worth living, I was unwillingly put into a mental hospital and now I owe over $14,000 for the inconvenience! I am in deep debt and I cannot hold a job due to the pain and fatigue also the "fibrofog" they call it. It is a condition where you can't think clearly. Sometimes it's funny, but most of the time it is scary. Like waking up and not knowing where I am or who I am. I am afraid to drive or go to the grocery store alot even when I do have energy to do it. I have been denied SSI because of my age and also because of my education. I had about 2 years of college, until I got sick and sadly flunked out.
If anyone could help me out there, I would appreciate the help. If you can't help me with a dollar or two, just a word or two of encouragement would mean the world to me. I so often feel all alone with this disease. I feel like I am being punished and alot of the time I don't even want to live, because I hurt so bad and I feel like I have nothing to live for except pain and being a burden. But I do have good qualities. I am an artist (the angel on this page is my painting, meant for hope and love). And I always try my best to help others. I want to be an art therapist someday to help give back some of what I have been given.
Thank you for reading my story. God Bless You. |
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