Buffy post s3

I don't agree that keeping Joyce in the dark actually protected from danger. For example, her ignorance of Angelus' true nature in Passion exposed her to unnecessary risk, she stood her ground when she should have run for the house. The dark forces Buffy fights never seem to have any trouble identifying her or her friends and family and have often used them to get to her. If those who are close to her are unaware of the danger they face, as Joyce was in Passion, they will be more likely to fall foul to the demon's plots and harm Buffy and be harmed as a result.

 

Having said that...

I believe it was Buffy's prerogative to tell Joyce or to keep her ignorant. She's a girl under incredible pressure, if she wishes to preserve some semblance of normalcy in her life by trying to have a non-supernatural home life then she should have that right. But she should also bear the consequences of her decision to lie. Joyce overreacted because she found out in circumstances that did not allow Buffy to treat her with proper respect (but would this have been the only circumstances in which she would have accepted it?).

Buffy must also take responsibility for the rift that must have emerged between them when Joyce discovered that she had been lying to her for the past few years. It's always hard for a parent to accept that their children are no so reliant on them anymore and to discover that in a way that also implied that her daughter didn't even trust her made it far worse.

As it is the point is now somewhat moot as Joyce knows (and seems to be doing a remarkable job of repressing/adapting Gingerbread). But what if Angelus had killed Joyce in Passion? An act he certainly could have committed. What if she died because she wasn't aware of the level of the threat she was facing? If he had done, the entire issue of Buffy's responsibility to those she cares for would have been brought into sharper focus.

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Was it right for Giles and Buffy to have kept Buffy's slayer identity from her mother?


Opinions

Lydia 31/3/00
I think Buffy never really questioned keeping her mother in the dark about her destiny. Most teen lie to their parents at one point or annother. Even after Joyce found out the truth, with the execption of Gingerbread, she never really particpated in any slaying and she seemed to treat the subject very delicatly. Joyce really lost points in my book when she left down during Graduation Day part 2. She could have lead some kind of revolt with the other parents (who all hightailed it out of there when they saw the demon, leaving their beloved progeny to fend for themselves. For shame)

serenlamin 26/6/00
I think that Buffy might have told her mom sooner, if not for Giles' insistence on secrecy. She was obviously frustrated at not being able to be honest with her mom at times (like having to sneak out in order to save the world.)

By keeping her mother in the dark, Buffy had to erect a barrier between her mother and herself.

While many teens to erect such emotional barriers, Buffy might have been better off if she had been allowed to be honest sooner than she was. Given the amount of pain and suffering that Buffy was exposed to in high school, she would have been a much happier and stable person if she had had the option of turning to her mother for comfort, advice, and emotional support.

I think the council's insistence on secrecy concerning the slayer's identity stems from their preference that the slayer lead a solitary, non-social life. It is frowned upon by the council that Buffy has friends--because it is an interest separate from slaying.

Giles part in upholding the council's strictures on secrecy has a bit of a different twist in my opinion. Given that Giles often acts as a surrogate father toward Buffy, by denying Joyce the opportunity to offer parental guidance he has usurped part of her role as parent too.

Joyce does not really function as a parent. Joyce was an authority figure in Buffy's life to the extent that legally Buffy was supposed to do what she said. However, she was not a de facto parental figure in that Buffy was often forced to disobey & deceive her in order to perform her slayer duties. She is not able to offer Buffy any real guidance, because she is kept out of the loop for really major things that affect Buffy's life. She does offer love, despite the emotional distance between them, but can't seem to get through. I think that Joyce was done a great disservice, and by extension, so was Buffy.

kate 23/8/00
Buffy should have told joyce earlier she also should have at least visited her mother on holidays during season 4 I mean come on who would ditch a day meant to spend with the family to hang out with friends


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